Category Archives: armed loneliness

I never knew him

  I never knew him in the flesh I withdrew for safety reasons He expected too much of me He made me his guiding light Now he rests behind my eyes I have to live with this a while Shame … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, Attraction, authenticity, backtrack, borders, changes, courage, create life, dreamers, grief, leaving, mental images, morality, obstacles, online friends, online romance, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, surviving | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Break up break down told you so

  I told him so many times what made me unhappy and he heard me but he never listened, only told me I was wrong. I could have said when I left him “I told you so” but I didn’t! … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, create life, grief, heartache, life and love, loneliness, loss, lost trust, love poem, love story, morality, poems, Poetry, relationships, romance, sadness, secret love, sexuality, unhappiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

There is someone for everyone except for me

  There is someone for everyone except for me of course, Cupid simply sneaked past my house one dark night when I was hard sleeping, caught by nightmares. At a ”certain age” you try to fit in to your new … Continue reading

Posted in aging, armed loneliness, Attraction, dreaming, left aside, life and love, loneliness, loners, longing, loss, lost, lost trust, maturity, morality, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life, sadness, surviving, unhappiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wisdom Wells

                (translated from Swedish) When summer so sleeps its last rest, the fall flames as fire yet chilly. Then the young hero comes to the Nordic regions to find his Crone, she the … Continue reading

Posted in aging, alienation, armed loneliness, Attraction, authenticity, create life, desirers, dreaming, loneliness, longing, maturity, morality, poem in English and Swedish, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reality, rebellious lovers, relationships, repression and borders, seasons, secret love, sexuality, summertime | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

All the difference

  Every evening after dark I take a 12 minutes’ walk around the block. Nor have I ever said, “I want to be alone. I only said, I want to be left alone.” It is the Garbo truth: “There is … Continue reading

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Heart wrapped in barbed wire

          I read your letter, roses sweet with thorns thoroughly hidden in thin silk paper. I grieve your heart wrapped in barbed wire! What you have you don’t want and what you want is far away. … Continue reading

Posted in alienation, armed loneliness, create life, desirers, dreamers, friendship, heartache, living in the world, loneliness, loners, longing, love poem, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life, rebellious lovers, repression and borders, unhappiness, vänskap, words, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

If I could talk to you

  And if I could talk to you, I would tell you I’m not happy for this either. But you and I and talking was never good and it always went from bad to worse. And I had to end … Continue reading

Posted in alienation, armed loneliness, borders, heartache, loners, loss, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness, surviving, talking, unhappiness, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What you deserve is not always what you get

Haven’t you forgot something, I asked. No why, he said. I said, it’s my birthday today! OMG!, he said, happy birthday to you and I love you and I wish I was there now to celebrate you! Well, I’m used … Continue reading

Posted in afar, armed loneliness, create life, loneliness, loners, online romance, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Black or white, Edith Södergran

Edith Södergran (1892 – 1923) is a Finnish-Swedish writer and she was a pioneer in the Scandinavian literary modernism in the early 1900s. She never got not much fame for her poetry before her death, rather the opposite. But she … Continue reading

Posted in about writing, armed loneliness, copied lyrics, create life, inspiring literature, Poem in Swedish, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The bitter taste of a depressed man

        He said, why would I make friends when people are just fake, I’m lost in a fake world, I’m 34 and my life is over. I said I just got a headache! I woke up too … Continue reading

Posted in alienation, armed loneliness, create life, friendship, loneliness, loners, online friends, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The elevator (invisibilized)

                  The lady in the elevator looks down on you, but what do you care! You’re going up and she’s going down, you’ve nothing to share! Mistreated all your life, people now … Continue reading

Posted in alienation, armed loneliness, create life, darkness, fragile, loners, lost, lost trust, obstacles, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reality, repression and borders, sadness, unhappiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Is love’s ending, love in vain?

                    Is love’s ending, love in vain? I woke up and felt like a bus had run over me, it was you! Walking a street, no map and not sure where … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, loss, lost, lost trust, love poem, love story, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life, romance, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Part-time commitments (perspectives)

  In an urbanized and modern society as ours, even “love” has a “best before” date. He always said to her “I could do everything for you,” and he told her his love was “forever”. But in practice his love … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, heartache, living in the world, morality, poems by vonnely, politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A gift to myself

  Winter chill, again. Got my body pains back, again. Woke up in night, now again. And couldn’t go back to sleep. Then I thought about other waken nights missing someone, trying to keep it up and all years passing. … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, living with chronic diseases, Living with chronic pains, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life, reality, Winter heart | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

If I’ve lost you, I’ve lost you!

You have been a fortnight offline. And if I’ve lost you, I’ve lost you. I don’t cry but I don’t smile either. It snows when I lower the blinds in the afternoon. It snows when I raise them in morning. … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, heartache, life and love, loss, love poem, online friends, online romance, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, Winter heart | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The miracle to be loved

        He’s the last one to be her first one, yet if so the other in the family rank In the complete desert in her aging and of losses sad, weakened heart, his lasting and devoted love … Continue reading

Posted in aging, armed loneliness, dreamers, heartache, loneliness, love poem, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, romance | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The bike accident

I had an accident with my bike on Thursday 30 August as passing through the hospital area. I was on my way downtown to the local library. Over the last decade, extensive new construction of the hospital area is carried … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, fragile, loneliness, loners, morality, Poetry, reality, Swedish conditions, walk of life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Single “forever”

If you wonder if I miss you the answer is simply “yes”. All other answers are “no”. If you can forget me: good! If you can’t: just live with it. And the same goes for me!   You said your … Continue reading

Posted in afar, aging, armed loneliness, heartache, loneliness, loners, longing, loss, lost trust, love poem, love story, missing, morality, online romance, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I am a private person

I am a private person who is living with words and only with words. It’s so easy to make me feel uncomfortable. But my words are all public and accessible to everyone, yet my words are not touchable (unfortunately, not … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, Attraction, borders, create life, dreamers, dreaming, hope, living in the world, loners, longing, love story, obstacles, online romance, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems by vonnely, prose poem, rebellious lovers, relationships, secret love, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Vinegar and lemon juice (distracted day)

      We have a quarrel now again and he doesn’t talk and as ever before I’m worried not knowing if it’ll last. On the radio the old time pop star Millie Small sings shrilly “What am I living … Continue reading

Posted in aging, armed loneliness, love poem, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mother and son united

              We came to talk about times that have been, my son and I, last time he was at home and I’ve since then thought and thought about it. Thought what he told me … Continue reading

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Sadness is a seven letters word

      Sadness is a seven letters word. Seven black drops dirt your skin and you rub and rub to clean it off you, but you can still see there are remains of the stains. Some people are just … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, become old, create life, dreamers, heartache, loneliness, love poem, old age, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

We travel on the same bus in different worlds

I had such dreams latest night! Just before I woke up I dreamt I was on a bus full with other people and I was in company with a person I’m not comfortable to be with. But I meet with  … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, body image, create life, dreamers, living in the world, loss, maturity, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, prose poem, Short prose, walk of life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Online friends, good and bad ones

I have been a member on a pen pal site to and fro since 2011. I have met a few friends for life there, as Anne from England – a very nice lady now 76 years old. We been friends … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, dreamers, fragile, friendship, living in the world, loneliness, loss, morality, online friends, past, poems by vonnely, relationships, repression and borders, sexuality, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I never told you goodbye

  To cut you off was easy and actually an act of self-defense, I don’t expect you to understand. But now I discover I’ve cut off a part of myself. And sometimes during my days it hurts in my absent … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, Autumn poem, darkness, dreamers, loneliness, loss, love poem, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I lost him a Thursday in October

I lost him a Thursday in October. It was a chilly but sunny day and I had just went to bed for a nap. It was at 17.39 to be precise and 3600 km away he looked up and met … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, Autumn poem, create life, loss, love poem, love story, morality, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

In the essence of the night

There’s an old grief at the bottom of my soul that never heal and goes away. When the cold nights come and I have no one to hold on to, ghosts chase me and makes me feel worthless. My last … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, blues, darkness, heartache, loss, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, threatened | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Cloudy

  I said  “you could at least try to communicate”. He said “how is the weather over there”. “It’s rainy but not cold”, I said. “It rains a lot here”, he said. “Not a lot here”, I said. “It’s cloudy”, … Continue reading

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Callow mind

Know that I can feel your pain now. Know that I cannot do any for you. Know that you have a callow mind. Your words were too often ignorant and lacked empathy and insight in others emotional lives. I don’t … Continue reading

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The Road

              I guess everyone has their own tragedy to live with. It’s always trivial and personal and hardly visible to others. But it’s utterly sore if any by mistake touch it. (Must know it … Continue reading

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About relationships

          He always thought it was all about him and for a sensitive ego that’s surely hard. He meant she caused them the conflicts and he responded by refuse to talk to her and go to … Continue reading

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“Sister”! You made me shiver!

“Sister”, you grabbed me by the throat and you ripped the buttons of my coat and you really made me shiver and choke. And then you craved to come intimate and have me like your rabbit in a crate! You … Continue reading

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Once we were young and pretty

Once we were young and pretty, but now we’re old and what then rose high and proudly is now grey and dried, low and slow and life has become a struggle with our bodies failures. Although we have lost the … Continue reading

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I think of my latest lover

                    The year 1971 I was 22, slim and cute and clever and lonely. Now I’m 67 and I’m not slim and cute, maybe clever, surely lonely. And I think of … Continue reading

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Giving sadness a room

            Sadness constantly dwells with me – never seems to leave me. But fought, it sucks up the air and lower my mobility. Maybe I should give sadness a space – a blue room of … Continue reading

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Ensamheten är beväpnad med kulsprutor

Loneliness is armed with machine guns! (in English below the Swedish text)       Ensamheten är beväpnad med kulsprutor! Efter att långan tid varit beväpnad måste du tala med omsorg, så att du inte avsiktslöst skjuter nå’n. Alltsomoftast skjuter du … Continue reading

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The story of the man at the pier

I’m a man of fire and ashes. Every day is new, I know – but it all feels like repeats. I try to walk straight, but constantly stumbles on my feet. Time and time again and all my life I’ve … Continue reading

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