The weed in my garden of love (thistle love)

I met a guy and I loved him but he never knew my love because he only knew the love he claimed he had for me. It was all about his feelings and never about mine. He never knew how to please my heart and how to treat me right because he was hiding behind romantic curtains covering his bars, singing “me” “me” “me” and “I need you!” and “I die if you leave me”. And the only “you” he knew was in his constant accusations “you think badly about me”. This, because I opposed to his egocentrism. It hurt his feelings and proofed I was thinking “bad” about him, he told me. And he always said “I feel lonely”.

But I truly loved him for no reason at all and in spite he wasn’t worth my love – which everyone easily could tell me. But people are not liked and loved because they are “worth it”, it’s never like that and people around should just keep that in mind before they judge the bewitched. Emotions are not governed by reason and common sense and certainly not of what is seen as appropriate for the people around you.

Those who are like him runs over their loved ones like a bulldozer. We try to understand them and to believe in their declarations of love, because we so dearly want it to be true. Does this man you are romantically involved with really loves you as he declares – or is he just callous player, hurting you over and again? This you can ask yourself thousand and one time but you’ll never get to know the answer. But when enough smashed, you’ll decide to leave the scene for the crime. To survive!

Being emotionally deaf to others and over-focusing on oneself is a more widespread disability than we even think. And they look quite normal these limited persons, even charming and caught you’ll not understand your mistake before it’s too late and you’re already emotionally involved and tied to the other one. But when enough is enough, you’ll fight your way out of the rose hedge, kneeling, crawling, bleeding, crying and humiliated but alive. And then you’ll mourn for a while.
He is not worth my mourning either, I know that! I’m just saying “me” now to be in support for myself. Because I’m entitled to have all my feelings and I’ll stand for them, even those misapplied. I fell in love and I failed in love – true – but everyone does it sometimes. So widen your empathy for the fool in love and don’t play wiseguy with me. I didn’t accept it from him, nor do I approve it from anyone else.
I met a guy and I loved him but he never knew my love because he only knew the love he claimed he had for me. He became so utterly impressed over his strong feelings, he fired the cannon for this his amazing love and in the smoke and dust of the firepower I was made invisible. He never understood my complaints over this, he loved me to death he told and what more could I ask for? And my love turned to bitterness and hate, watered with my tears of disappointment. And this is now the weed in my garden of love. And I am the gardener.

This entry was posted in armed loneliness, courage, create life, desirers, dreamers, fragile, hate, heartache, heartbreaker, hjärtekrossare, leaving, life and love, loneliness, loss, lost, lost trust, love story, morality, poems by vonnely, prose poem, relationships, romance, sadness, Short prose, surviving, vulnerability and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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