Tag Archives: coping life

I have decided to be happy!

I turn 71 in April and I may reach 75 – or 74, but that would be too sad short to imagine. I hope to be at least 85 and still be movable. Let’s say I’ll have 15 years left, … Continue reading

Posted in aging, authenticity, become old, create life, free, leaving, love story, maturity, morality, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A low-priced life // Fattigpensionär

            In my universe it’s rather empty, even the cat rejects the low-price tuna fish from supermarket to then run around in fury in my two-room flat when I tell her it’s what you get … Continue reading

Posted in loneliness, loners, loss, lost, old age, poem in English and Swedish, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, poverty, unhappiness, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Do I really dare to leave home?

  It’s evening and I want to go out for a short walk. But do I really dare to leave home? I read on some website that about 46 % of us over 65 who falls cannot get up on … Continue reading

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The day after the storm

It’s the morning after the storm, I make my tea and give the cat tuna. I start my laptop and leave for the web, having tea and cheese sandwiches. I note with relief I don’t miss him as I feared … Continue reading

Posted in courage, create life, faith, life and love, poem in English and Swedish, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reality, surviving | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Left over, me!

  I don’t know what was true and not true with him. He always said he was not a liar and I should trust in him and I believe he honestly believed in that. More I will never know. That’s … Continue reading

Posted in changes, images, left aside, loss, love story, melancholy, poems by vonnely, Poetry, prose poem, reading life, reality, relationships, sadness, secret love, Short prose, single-handed voyage, unhappiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Kindly kill yourself on an unnoticed day

It is a popular game, blaming others! Everyone points fingers at everyone and nobody is good enough: you’re white not good, you’re black not good, you’re a “leftie” not good, a “right-wing” not good, you’re a criminal not good, homeless … Continue reading

Posted in lost, obstacles, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness, to die, vulnerability, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Teeth, to be or not to be (Tänder, att vara eller inte vara)

I stared in complete shock at the pieces of plastic in my hand! Then I phoned the dentist office. I visited the dentist the very next day. And I was told that maybe my broken partial denture can be repaired … Continue reading

Posted in aging, Attraction, authenticity, become old, create life, left aside, living with chronic diseases, Living with chronic pains, loners, loss, sexuality, Sweden view, Swedish conditions, welfare | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

One-man riot

There are riots in Hong Kong, there are riots in Paris and in Barcelona. There are riots in Bagdad and the cities around in Iraq as well as in cities in Iran as Tehran and around in the country, tell … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, authenticity, borders, create life, living in the world, loneliness, lost trust, morality, opportunities, paradigms, past, politics, reading, reading life, reading newspapers, reality, relationships, repression and borders, right wing, roots, Short prose, Sweden view, Swedish conditions, visionaries, vulnerability, walk of life, walls, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Loneliness is a treacherous haunting guest

That feeling of loneliness now sudden fills me up is a treacherous and haunting guest. When it hits, it permeates your soul and force you in desperation to meddle with the wrong kind of people, just to get some company … Continue reading

Posted in alienation, authenticity, create life, loneliness, loners, poem in English and Swedish, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, prose poem, relationships, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A love thriving in our longing

  I still think of you the first thing I wake up in the morning and I miss you on my lonely evenings: someone to talk to. And sleeping and dreaming I get lost in scary nightmares. But as soon … Continue reading

Posted in dreamers, loneliness, longing, loss, lost, love poem, melancholy, memories, missing, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, romance | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ice cream dreams (the end of the road)

  It was down minus 25C in Nikkaluokta last night, that would be alike minus 77 Fahrenheit in USA. There I am it’s only +3C and to me that’s far too freezing cold. I have never been in Nikkaluokta, even … Continue reading

Posted in borders, desirers, life and love, lost, love story, missing, morality, nature, old age, opportunities, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, Swedish souls, unhappiness, Winter heart, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

October, haiku

I October colors and the Earth still carry us: November comes next! II She still thinks of him like birches gold on the street. But not so often. III Rain and autumn gloom, and missing stings inwardly. Blue hope in … Continue reading

Posted in Autumn leaves, Autumn poems, haiku, memories, nature, October colors, poem in English and Swedish, poem in Swedish and English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, walk of life | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Nuts from Turkey, and the nutcases ruling the world

One of the days in late September I felt a sudden yearning for nuts and I didn’t found any in the pantry and then I realized that it was some time since I ate any nuts at all. Mostly, I … Continue reading

Posted in food, human rights, living in the world, lost trust, obstacles, reading newspapers, visionaries | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Changes (living in a “free” world)

There will be some changes on this blog until I paid the fee getting me free from ads. (Meaning some of my entries destroyed by inserted ads are now set “private” not visible for a while.) If only the ads … Continue reading

Posted in about writing, changes, free, frihet, human rights, living in the world, reading newspapers, Short prose, surviving, threatened, web papers, writing | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

100 years after him

100 years after him I will be no longer! Nor the memory of what never became. 100 years and he will not be either. His dreams for sale; my words remains like lost birds, scattered in the sky. It’s over. … Continue reading

Posted in courage, create life, heartache, leaving, life and love, loss, lost, love story, memories, morality, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, surviving, walk of life, words, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Done with men (färdig med karlar)

I’m going to read 100 novels and then die! But if when 100 done, I still have time left, I will read 100 more novels and list the first hundred and the other 100 and meanwhile my double bed will … Continue reading

Posted in aging, loners, old age, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading, single-handed voyage, walk of life, Winter heart | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I was never tougher than the rest

Well, it’s Saturday noon and you’re gone into the blue. I kept an eye on you a while, maybe you did it on me too. It’s true I ran off first because you caused us so much stress. Once you … Continue reading

Posted in borders, fears, loss, lost, love poem, missing, obstacles, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Three times, three roses

Lars Forssell  (Swedish poet) (1928–2007) Odysseus på Ithaca (from the Swedish poetry collection Telegram, 1957)In the Greek tale, the hero is captured on the island Ogygia by the beautiful nymph Calypso who seduces him with her love and songs. But every … Continue reading

Posted in become old, borders, desirers, dreaming, fictional story, heartache, inspiring literature, life and love, loneliness, love poem, memories, morality, obstacles, past, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, rebellious lovers, romance, sadness, secret love, sentimentality, sexuality, translations by vonnely | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

All the difference

  Every evening after dark I take a 12 minutes’ walk around the block. Nor have I ever said, “I want to be alone. I only said, I want to be left alone.” It is the Garbo truth: “There is … Continue reading

Posted in alienation, armed loneliness, authenticity, courage, create life, fragile, left aside, loneliness, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life, unhappiness, walk of life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

At my age! (2) (prose)

“At my age anything unexpected that isn’t medical or mortal should be celebrated.”A quote attributed to Kathleen Brennan.               If any say “at my age”, she’s for sure not 6 years old… or 20 … Continue reading

Posted in aging, authenticity, become old, cultures, maturity, poems by vonnely, politics, reading life | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

At my age!

I came old and stood at the edge, mirrored nothingness fearing but fighting, as faced the end of the mortal “me” Then I met him, a freedom fighter for his own good only He caught me and brought me a … Continue reading

Posted in aging, become old, courage, old age, poem in English and Swedish, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Where the birches rustles their summer song

When one goes, the other is seen left behind: But the former will be what comes. The other: the laughing gentleman, now ridiculous naked butt as the fairy tale emperor: but still haughty he gabbles his garbage. Far after the … Continue reading

Posted in about writing, courage, create life, culture values, dreamers, faith, garbage, life and love, loners, lost trust, love story, morality, nature, past, poems by vonnely, Poetry, politics, reading, reading newspapers, repression and borders, sexuality, summer poem, summertime, surviving, Swedish souls, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

At 70!

Vid 70 har man samlat på sig berg av illusioner, förlorade, återvunna, återfunna. Livet går vidare, javisst! Men själv har man nått sin vägs ände och går inte längre med. Och sedan då alla dessa berg som skymmer den fria … Continue reading

Posted in aging, create life, loss, old age, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

(Mind matter) Märka ord

Märk nu mina ord, jag besökte er ett tag, men var verkligen aldrig där: ett vingslag mot din kind i natten, du rös till litegrann. Vi bor i Sverige men lever i världen. Våra tankar borde vara såsom svalor i … Continue reading

Posted in about writing, alienation, create life, cultures, dreamers, free, frihet, left aside, living in the world, love poem, morality, paradigms, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, politics, reality, relationships, repression and borders, svalor, Sweden view, Swedish poem to English, vår | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

When the passion is gone

              When the passion is over you thank your lucky stars for being able to cross the wasted land for fresh water without get a headshot from your ex beloved. There is a road … Continue reading

Posted in changes, happiness, heartache, love poem, poem in English and Swedish, poems, Poetry, rebellious lovers, relationships, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The road to let go

  3600 miles as the crow flies from your heart and body, 4500 miles on roads where my feet have never walked. Years have passed and how far have we come, tell me! And how long do I have to … Continue reading

Posted in create life, desirers, love story, online romance, walk of life, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The elevator (invisibilized)

                  The lady in the elevator looks down on you, but what do you care! You’re going up and she’s going down, you’ve nothing to share! Mistreated all your life, people now … Continue reading

Posted in alienation, armed loneliness, create life, darkness, fragile, loners, lost, lost trust, obstacles, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reality, repression and borders, sadness, unhappiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“I’m fine, thanks!”

I looked after you and found you in my heart, that which I lost given it to you. You hold yourself back with these “I’m fine”. With time, it’s like serving a chicken to a lion. We are like prisoners … Continue reading

Posted in Attraction, desirers, dreaming, heartache, life and love, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, romance, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Making an apple cake for one

In English below! Jag står i köket en dag och gör en äppelkaka för en då jag hör ett stillsamt skvalande från en granne, jag hoppas att det är från kranen i dennes kök, men nej – strax därpå följer … Continue reading

Posted in living in the world, loneliness, loners, poems by vonnely, reality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Unhappy, although I’m loved (forget me not)

        I’m unhappy, although I’m loved. And I tell myself every day to be content with what I have, but that doesn’t make me feel better. Unsatisfactions eats my soul like mice making hole in a pantry … Continue reading

Posted in become old, blues, create life, longing, loss, online friends, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life, reality, repression and borders | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Free ticket to Erdogan?

After the two last awful years living in the worl and trying to cope with it – now 1919 will come – and yes asking, what will come next? President Trump announces American troops will leave Syria, claiming ISIS now is … Continue reading

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Moving into gloomy November

  Two weeks not a word from you is a very long time, two weeks at a new place is too short to feel home. I’m tired and worn out after all hassle with the move and I wonders about … Continue reading

Posted in changes, courage, create life, darkness, desirers, dreamers, grief, happiness, longing, love poem, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, sadness, surviving | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The need to create holiness (Save Our Souls!)

If there is no Paradise, then it’s truly urgent we invent such a space having power to provide forgiveness for all the evil deeds we are forced to witness in our time and to an extent we can hardly cope … Continue reading

Posted in create life, dreamers, faith, living in the world, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, politics, sacred | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Impossible love

  When I think of him (all the time!)… there’s not so much about having distinct thoughts as about a constant inner awareness, perceiving his existence. He is a living presence in my soul. Living streaming water… But when this … Continue reading

Posted in borders, create life, dreamers, happiness, hope, love poem, poems, poems by vonnely, prose poem, rebellious lovers, repression and borders | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Chinese drama, Internet use and Swedish matters of the heart

According to Swedish newspapers reports in September were public institutions in Sweden such as Sweden’s television and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs exposed to massive attacks by Chinese internet trolls. The affected have confirmed that “an increased activity has been … Continue reading

Posted in animal rights, borders, create life, cultures, door openers, dreamers, hope, immigrants, living in the world, obstacles, opportunities, poems by vonnely, politics, reading, reality, right wing, Sweden view, Swedish "culture", Swedish conditions | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Moving, still steady

I’ve lived in this house for ten years but for the last years I’ve mostly been online, it all while I tried to shake off my feelings of wearing a cooling suit of loneliness and desolation. Solitude has for long … Continue reading

Posted in borders, create life, hope, loneliness, loners, love poem, maturity, memories, nature, online friends, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reality, relationships, repression and borders, sadness, Swedish "culture", Swedish souls, walk of life, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hen house

Part I, Saturday It’s the weekend after Sweden voted for new leaderships in counties and parliament. The mandates for the parliament after the final statement is 144-143 to the favor of red/green bloc, but Swedish Democrats receives 62 mandates. The … Continue reading

Posted in immigrants, inspiring music, inspiring songs, lost trust, maturity, obstacles, old age, poems by vonnely, politics, reading, repression and borders, right wing, satire, Sweden view, Swedish "culture", Swedish conditions, threatened | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Children of divorce, left behind

Children of divorce, left behind. When one or both parents find new love, they cut off the past: what’s old luggage comes last. And children can be neglected, needing loving care is rejected. I was talking on phone with my … Continue reading

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“It could be worse!”

Have a bad government with confused ministers who don’t know how to find their own hands in their pockets, wishing for another reign but realise the alternative we would get an even worse government that is not footed, but for … Continue reading

Posted in create life, dreaming, fooled, heartache, living in the world, lost trust, morality, poems by vonnely, politics, repression and borders, Sweden view, Swedish conditions | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bitterness

I woke up today with bitterness in my heart. And I washed my hair and I had my coffee and I read the news on the web and I edited some writing. Now my hair has almost dried and I … Continue reading

Posted in heartache, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

All that I have (yet another wonderful summer)

And yet another wonderful summer. Biking to a lake, reading a book and drink coffee from a thermos and eat cinnamon buns, sticky in the heat – and breadcrumbs and ants all over the blanket. (To bike slowly home in … Continue reading

Posted in create life, dreamers, loneliness, loners, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life, walk of life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A humble man with a heart

It was a Monday in the beginning of April this year and I had an appointment with my dental hygienist the very same morning. It turned out to be a meeting including more than a cleaning of teeth, but resulting … Continue reading

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An actual description

“Keep smiling” is the worst advice and pressure people can ever put on themselves and others. It should belong to “the human rights” to be able to talk about melancholy moods without getting moralizing from someone, and not least from … Continue reading

Posted in darkness, fatigue, fragile, lost, obstacles, poem, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You are allowed to be happy

I tell myself:   “You are allowed to be happy now, even if you still mourn what you once never had. The sun rarely shone on you and darkness linger deep in your sad eyes and heart, yet you are … Continue reading

Posted in create life, fragile, grief, love poem, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

February Sun

        The sun is shining, the birds are singing They think it’s spring, but we know better It’ll take time for our spring to come to us.

Posted in apart, borders, dreamers, hope, loneliness, love poem, nature, online romance, opportunities, poem, poems, poems by vonnely, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Some call it juice others call it blues

That life is lemons is common knowledge and what you make out of it some people call juice, others call blues. Now – juice need sweetness to be drinkable, but the blues can’t be sweeter than it is in itself. … Continue reading

Posted in blues, love poem, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, walk of life, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Opportunities

Thoughts in January and the beginning of the new yea about “dead ends” and “Catch 22” – life situations that are unbearable and impossible to handle… Everyone has at some time in life faced it. In hopeless circumstances where all … Continue reading

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The old bard’s advice how to handle the pain of life

Gunnar Ekelöf 1907 – 1968 Swedish poet and translator.  He is one of the most significant, loved and well-known poets in the Swedish literature. From the poetry collection Dedikation 1934 Note: The poem here translated by me and just for … Continue reading

Posted in create life, darkness, dreamers, inspiring literature, living in the world, Living with chronic pains, loneliness, past, poem in Swedish and English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness, Swedish poem to English, translations by vonnely, walk of life | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Sweden today

At the Sweden’s most northerly point, called Three-Country Cairn, the sun will never raise from today, the first of December. This will be for about 2 weeks. Then the same phenomenon will appears at Sweden’s northernmost city Kiruna. It is … Continue reading

Posted in cultures, darkness, dreamers, light, living in the world, nature, obstacles, poems by vonnely, politics, reading, relationships, repression and borders, sexuality, Swedish conditions, threatened, walk of life, walls, web papers, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

To be frank about the nature of our love

            I woke up from my late afternoon nap. And then I missed him. Or to be frank – I missed to have the warm tenderness between two people being together and liking each other. … Continue reading

Posted in create life, inspiring songs, loneliness, longing, love poem, love story, morality, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, walk of life, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments