Tag Archives: sadness

I have decided to be happy!

I turn 71 in April and I may reach 75 – or 74, but that would be too sad short to imagine. I hope to be at least 85 and still be movable. Let’s say I’ll have 15 years left, … Continue reading

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Three weeks today

Three weeks today, right! And it’s hard, hard, hard! It’s right hard, right now! A love like a picture book we awhile leafed through?      

Posted in heartache, love poem, memories, poem in English to Swedish, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, separated, unhappines | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Do I really dare to leave home?

  It’s evening and I want to go out for a short walk. But do I really dare to leave home? I read on some website that about 46 % of us over 65 who falls cannot get up on … Continue reading

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Married to the blues

Married and buried in longing for you, my loneliness singing a blues forever. I wonder who’s kissing you now and if you eat properly? Is it any raining out? Do you still go to the mall on Saturday to then … Continue reading

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Elderly balance (single-leg stance)

When 18 people read my texts I exist. Otherwise it is not much with that, unless I not wake up in the night with cramps in one lower leg, then I surely know I’m alive. I hear on the TV … Continue reading

Posted in about writing, aging, alienation, armed loneliness, authenticity, become old, body image, courage, create life, creativity, culture values, dreamers, fate, fears, fragile, grief, happiness, human cruelty, left aside, living with chronic diseases, loneliness, loners, loss, lost, lost trust, maturity, melancholy, memories, morality, obstacles, old age, opportunities, past, poems by vonnely, politics, poverty, reading life, reality, repression and borders, Short prose, Sweden view, Swedish "culture", Swedish conditions, unhappiness, visionaries, vulnerability, walk of life, walls, with or without you, words, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lost love, gloom forever to be

        I never got to know you in this all real world, where one breathe, eat, shit and pay the rent. But still, it was meant to be, you and me. Yet your demanding impatience (as I … Continue reading

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Love torn apart

          I wanted your love to be my shelter, a comfort zone, a mine for golden joy to give strength as I’m struggling every month to keep my head above the water having hard times. You … Continue reading

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A lonely blues around the corner

The whole fucking me is like an emergency Hole in the heart, the claw of abandonment Easily forgotten, lone blues around a corner He told I’ll love you forever true forever was short like a little star afar that twinkle … Continue reading

Posted in blues, dreamers, gloom, heartache, left aside, loneliness, loners, loss, love poem, missing, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, romance, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Silence, solitude

Silence, solitude Now two days without talking to you: it is a lifetime of despair for my heart! Same as once you told me, walked on a shore fearing you and I would never become “us”. When one cry, the … Continue reading

Posted in dreamers, fears, hope, life and love, loneliness, longing, melancholy, missing, online romance, poem in English and Swedish, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, romance, secret love, vulnerability, walls | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Kindly kill yourself on an unnoticed day

It is a popular game, blaming others! Everyone points fingers at everyone and nobody is good enough: you’re white not good, you’re black not good, you’re a “leftie” not good, a “right-wing” not good, you’re a criminal not good, homeless … Continue reading

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Teeth, to be or not to be (Tänder, att vara eller inte vara)

I stared in complete shock at the pieces of plastic in my hand! Then I phoned the dentist office. I visited the dentist the very next day. And I was told that maybe my broken partial denture can be repaired … Continue reading

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Ice cream dreams (the end of the road)

  It was down minus 25C in Nikkaluokta last night, that would be alike minus 77 Fahrenheit in USA. There I am it’s only +3C and to me that’s far too freezing cold. I have never been in Nikkaluokta, even … Continue reading

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How many times we split up

            How many times we split up! He never learns. Watch up, sweep up, I said to him. Remember we must tiptoe walk now: maybe the last time that we try to get a future … Continue reading

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Song in autumn rain: Clapton, a man with the blues in his hands

            River of Tears Eric Clapton from the album Pilgrim released 1998 It’s three miles to the river That would carry me away Two miles to the dusty street That I saw you on today … Continue reading

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Since she left me lastly (part 2)

          Since she left me lastly I rambling around, lost. My eyes are so dry and burns as the winds have blew away all my tears. I’ve a lump in my throat and my heart is … Continue reading

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Since you left me lastly

Since you left me lastly I rambling around, lost. My eyes are so dry and burns as the winds have blew away all my tears. I’ve a lump in my throat and my heart is icy cold. You have no … Continue reading

Posted in grief, heartache, loss, lost, love poem, missing, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness, unhappiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Forever never more, not last long for me when about you

“Forever never more, not last long for me when about you.” I wrote that to him and I stand for it! He wrote back to me “I’m sorry I don’t understand what you write now.” Ouch! All the blind alleys … Continue reading

Posted in dreaming, fragile, heartbreaker, hjärtekrossare, life and love, longing, loss, love story, missing, online friends, online romance, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reality, sadness, secret love, sentimentality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The weed in my garden of love (thistle love)

I met a guy and I loved him but he never knew my love because he only knew the love he claimed he had for me. It was all about his feelings and never about mine. He never knew how … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, courage, create life, desirers, dreamers, fragile, hate, heartache, heartbreaker, hjärtekrossare, leaving, life and love, loneliness, loss, lost, lost trust, love story, morality, poems by vonnely, prose poem, relationships, romance, sadness, Short prose, surviving, vulnerability | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I was never tougher than the rest

Well, it’s Saturday noon and you’re gone into the blue. I kept an eye on you a while, maybe you did it on me too. It’s true I ran off first because you caused us so much stress. Once you … Continue reading

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August rains but doesn’t cry any tears

  August is supposed to be a summer month, at least here there I live. But this year autumn seems to come early. And since it’s raining day after day, the sky is so much darken blue and cloudy that … Continue reading

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Even if you silently weep

  Even if you silently weep, don’t worry, no one sees your tears. Yet everybody knows that all hearts have their secret tales. I still think of you, from my early morning to the silent nights. I wonder what was … Continue reading

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I was easy forgotten

I was easy forgotten just piece of a game the One knew words not ever compassion heart split and alone moving on shattered tears hidden in heart smiles cover up pains

Posted in become old, falsehood, heartbreaker, loneliness, loners, loss, love story, old age, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness, unhappiness, words | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Heart wrapped in barbed wire

          I read your letter, roses sweet with thorns thoroughly hidden in thin silk paper. I grieve your heart wrapped in barbed wire! What you have you don’t want and what you want is far away. … Continue reading

Posted in alienation, armed loneliness, create life, desirers, dreamers, friendship, heartache, living in the world, loneliness, loners, longing, love poem, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life, rebellious lovers, repression and borders, unhappiness, vänskap, words, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

We try to talk

We try to talk to keep it going but we’re not doing it so well, I miss so much to sense your body near mine, not so much about sex as a severe longing to feel your presence here and … Continue reading

Posted in dreamers, longing, love poem, online romance, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, romance | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

An angry man

              An angry man stands at the corner waiting for me; his arms crossed over his chest. “I’m ashamed of you” was the last he said to me. But his English is not good … Continue reading

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A romantic dream in color

I heard it said in the old days it’s rare to dream in color. But I now read on the web it’s rather the opposite? I don’t know if it is true or not. My dreams usually vanish from my … Continue reading

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Play it again, Sam!

  I said: Sam, see you in Casablanca! And he shrank to a boy’s voice in a phone with a lousy connection and vanished in the night. Now it’s late and I’m running out of time, but still I’ve that … Continue reading

Posted in Africa, alienation, apart, become old, borders, create life, desirers, dreaming, faith, heartache, inspiring movies, life and love, loneliness, lost, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, politics, repression and borders, romance, sentimentality, unhappiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

And Sam said

  And Sam said “Lady, you shot me” and he fell back and hasty he bled to death, still in his 30s. Soon 70, I walk my way slow and oldish as life and people have hurt me hard but … Continue reading

Posted in aging, alienation, become old, changes, courage, create life, desirers, fooled, grief, life and love, living with chronic diseases, Living with chronic pains, loss, lost trust, love story, memories, missing, morality, old age, past, Poetry, secret love, sexuality, spring, surviving | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Simple

          We’re simple people you and I and our feelings for each other are also simple. But the world isn’t simple. I wanted to release you to free myself, but you didn’t want to. So we … Continue reading

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The elevator (invisibilized)

                  The lady in the elevator looks down on you, but what do you care! You’re going up and she’s going down, you’ve nothing to share! Mistreated all your life, people now … Continue reading

Posted in alienation, armed loneliness, create life, darkness, fragile, loners, lost, lost trust, obstacles, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reality, repression and borders, sadness, unhappiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

There’s no tomorrow for what died yesterday

        There’s no love around us anymore what once has solidify will never change It’s silly to believe love is all you need when blindness becomes its only seed Love will fade just like the sun goes … Continue reading

Posted in loss, lost, lost trust, love story, morality, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life, reality, sentimentality, surviving, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Making an apple cake for one

In English below! Jag står i köket en dag och gör en äppelkaka för en då jag hör ett stillsamt skvalande från en granne, jag hoppas att det är från kranen i dennes kök, men nej – strax därpå följer … Continue reading

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Unhappy, although I’m loved (forget me not)

        I’m unhappy, although I’m loved. And I tell myself every day to be content with what I have, but that doesn’t make me feel better. Unsatisfactions eats my soul like mice making hole in a pantry … Continue reading

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If I’ve lost you, I’ve lost you!

You have been a fortnight offline. And if I’ve lost you, I’ve lost you. I don’t cry but I don’t smile either. It snows when I lower the blinds in the afternoon. It snows when I raise them in morning. … Continue reading

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Voices speaking to the melancholy Swedish soul

It’s the underlying lost melancholy white tune in Springsteen and Harris voices beyond any lyrics, music sets and genres. It sneaks out on you, forces itself on you, it’s you far from forged reality grilles. And it tells of the … Continue reading

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Moving, still steady

I’ve lived in this house for ten years but for the last years I’ve mostly been online, it all while I tried to shake off my feelings of wearing a cooling suit of loneliness and desolation. Solitude has for long … Continue reading

Posted in borders, create life, hope, loneliness, loners, love poem, maturity, memories, nature, online friends, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reality, relationships, repression and borders, sadness, Swedish "culture", Swedish souls, walk of life, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The miracle to be loved

        He’s the last one to be her first one, yet if so the other in the family rank In the complete desert in her aging and of losses sad, weakened heart, his lasting and devoted love … Continue reading

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August trail

              Kissed by the shadow of what could have been, him gone when August arrived in cooling nights with its Moon’s Mona Lisa smile. And it darkens a little bit more every day. All … Continue reading

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Anyway

  Now the sun shines happy on a blue sky and the heat in my body rises high. But nobody loves me anyway! At night, the summer fever makes me groan in my single bed with sweaty sheets, all alone. … Continue reading

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Bitterness

I woke up today with bitterness in my heart. And I washed my hair and I had my coffee and I read the news on the web and I edited some writing. Now my hair has almost dried and I … Continue reading

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A humble man with a heart

It was a Monday in the beginning of April this year and I had an appointment with my dental hygienist the very same morning. It turned out to be a meeting including more than a cleaning of teeth, but resulting … Continue reading

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An actual description

“Keep smiling” is the worst advice and pressure people can ever put on themselves and others. It should belong to “the human rights” to be able to talk about melancholy moods without getting moralizing from someone, and not least from … Continue reading

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You are allowed to be happy

I tell myself:   “You are allowed to be happy now, even if you still mourn what you once never had. The sun rarely shone on you and darkness linger deep in your sad eyes and heart, yet you are … Continue reading

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Dark chocolate, love’s bitter taste

I miss talking to you. But I don’t know if it is more than that anymore. Maybe I just miss someone to talk to? Or maybe I’m in “a phase”, low and tired? But I think you feel sad and … Continue reading

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Missing someone

But no common sense can deny the missing in me after you and all I can wish for now is that its bitter-sweetness stays with me all my days left, if you cannot. Ändå kan inget sunt förnuft förneka saknaden … Continue reading

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Lonely swan dreams in November (haiku)

It don’t come easy – November sun and swan dreams! Where did it all go?      

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We have a love thing going

In retro perspective dreams are just memories of time we wasted on what might be nothing. Dreams belongs to and are seated in our futures, but for what purposes? Only to keep us struggling on in the now? Or is … Continue reading

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Sadness is a seven letters word

      Sadness is a seven letters word. Seven black drops dirt your skin and you rub and rub to clean it off you, but you can still see there are remains of the stains. Some people are just … Continue reading

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For the sake of love

        When love is over and you have blown and then blown once more on cooled embers, for the sake of love, for the sake of love, for the sake of love, but see there’s no spark … Continue reading

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A love story in summary

First you got me miss you Then you got me love you You indeed got me to sing Ending, you got me crying    

Posted in Attraction, heartache, inspiring music, loneliness, loss, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment