Category Archives: loss

The end of a high flying romance (quarantine)

I have nothing to say to you that could be of any comfort to you. For once, the saying “you reap what you sow” fits good when about you! I don’t feel anything yet, no anger or bitterness or sadness. … Continue reading

Posted in heartache, life and love, loss, lost romance, lost trust, love story, poem in English and Swedish, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Laura

Inspired by Francesco Petrarca’s courtly love poems to Laura de Sade I And ever since the day you died, my Laura, my heart is an empty deserted grieving tomb. I dreamed about you in lonely bachelor nights, my feverish body … Continue reading

Posted in about writing, absence, Attraction, authenticity, closeness, create life, desirers, dreamers, gloom, heartache, inspiring writer, life and love, living in the world, loneliness, longing, loss, love poem, love story, morality, obstacles, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, politics, reading, reality, rebellious lovers, relationships, romance, satire, sentimentality, sexuality, vulnerability, with or without you, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A low-priced life // Fattigpensionär

            In my universe it’s rather empty, even the cat rejects the low-price tuna fish from supermarket to then run around in fury in my two-room flat when I tell her it’s what you get … Continue reading

Posted in loneliness, loners, loss, lost, old age, poem in English and Swedish, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, poverty, unhappiness, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Married to the blues

Married and buried in longing for you, my loneliness singing a blues forever. I wonder who’s kissing you now and if you eat properly? Is it any raining out? Do you still go to the mall on Saturday to then … Continue reading

Posted in heartache, inspiring songs, life and love, loneliness, longing, loss, love story, melancholy, memories, poem in Swedish and English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, rebellious lovers | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

In your absence

      It’s three AM and too late to say good night as you must be already sleeping. If you are okay, are you? I also need sleep, but I want to stay awake a little more to think … Continue reading

Posted in absence, apart, listen more talk less, loners, loss, love story, memories, missing, obstacles, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, secret love, single-handed voyage, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Her best friend (republished)

From July 2014, the original in Swedish on 17 July, the translation  now rewritten. She once had a best friend and Ralph was his name and he had a wife, Lena, and three children and one cat and he built … Continue reading

Posted in abuse, aging, copied lyrics, create life, falsehood, falsity, friendship, heartbreaker, hjärtekrossare, loneliness, loss, lost trust, memories, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, sadness, surviving, vulnerability | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Elderly balance (single-leg stance)

When 18 people read my texts I exist. Otherwise it is not much with that, unless I not wake up in the night with cramps in one lower leg, then I surely know I’m alive. I hear on the TV … Continue reading

Posted in about writing, aging, alienation, armed loneliness, authenticity, become old, body image, courage, create life, creativity, culture values, dreamers, fate, fears, fragile, grief, happiness, human cruelty, left aside, living with chronic diseases, loneliness, loners, loss, lost, lost trust, maturity, melancholy, memories, morality, obstacles, old age, opportunities, past, poems by vonnely, politics, poverty, reading life, reality, repression and borders, Short prose, Sweden view, Swedish "culture", Swedish conditions, unhappiness, visionaries, vulnerability, walk of life, walls, with or without you, words, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Left over, me!

  I don’t know what was true and not true with him. He always said he was not a liar and I should trust in him and I believe he honestly believed in that. More I will never know. That’s … Continue reading

Posted in changes, images, left aside, loss, love story, melancholy, poems by vonnely, Poetry, prose poem, reading life, reality, relationships, sadness, secret love, Short prose, single-handed voyage, unhappiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lost love, gloom forever to be

        I never got to know you in this all real world, where one breathe, eat, shit and pay the rent. But still, it was meant to be, you and me. Yet your demanding impatience (as I … Continue reading

Posted in aging, gloom, grief, life and love, loneliness, loners, loss, lost, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reality, relationships, vulnerability | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A sunny day in February

Such a lovely day, strong blue sky and chirping little birds, a bleach half-moon above waits for the night. Snowdrops blooms before any snow, no winter this year and it might never be. I’m walking to the mall and I … Continue reading

Posted in alienation, apart, life and love, loss, missing, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, secret love, vårvinter, winter, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A lonely blues around the corner

The whole fucking me is like an emergency Hole in the heart, the claw of abandonment Easily forgotten, lone blues around a corner He told I’ll love you forever true forever was short like a little star afar that twinkle … Continue reading

Posted in blues, dreamers, gloom, heartache, left aside, loneliness, loners, loss, love poem, missing, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, romance, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“If the people go hungry, they will eat their rulers”

Your destiny in the orange envelope     I I want something new, I need something new, I want something else. And I surely don’t want the living conditions I have. II Lack of freedom and poverty is to not … Continue reading

Posted in become old, create life, culture values, living with chronic diseases, loss, morality, obstacles, old age, paradigms, poems by vonnely, politics, poverty, sadness, Sweden view, Swedish "culture", Swedish conditions, to die, unhappiness | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Teeth, to be or not to be (Tänder, att vara eller inte vara)

I stared in complete shock at the pieces of plastic in my hand! Then I phoned the dentist office. I visited the dentist the very next day. And I was told that maybe my broken partial denture can be repaired … Continue reading

Posted in aging, Attraction, authenticity, become old, create life, left aside, living with chronic diseases, Living with chronic pains, loners, loss, sexuality, Sweden view, Swedish conditions, welfare | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A future without the other

I wanted it differently and so did you as far as I know. Though I’m helpless against your anger, hell no I will allow you drown me in your self-righteous black sea. Of all unskilled male lovers in the world … Continue reading

Posted in blues, inspiring music, inspiring songs, loss, lost, melancholy, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, romance, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A love thriving in our longing

  I still think of you the first thing I wake up in the morning and I miss you on my lonely evenings: someone to talk to. And sleeping and dreaming I get lost in scary nightmares. But as soon … Continue reading

Posted in dreamers, loneliness, longing, loss, lost, love poem, melancholy, memories, missing, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, romance | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Remembering (All Saints’ Day)

What olden dead can be deader than those who were once buried in graveyards which were later abandoned to become desolate churchyards? Decades and centuries have passed by those wasted and neglected places and curious but yet rare visitors can … Continue reading

Posted in All Saints Day, gloom, grief, lighted candles, loss, November gloom, poem in English and Swedish, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

How many times we split up

            How many times we split up! He never learns. Watch up, sweep up, I said to him. Remember we must tiptoe walk now: maybe the last time that we try to get a future … Continue reading

Posted in dreaming, hope, loss, love story, obstacles, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, romance, sadness, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fireweed joy (Glädjefält)

Ur den brända marken växer en ros närd av aska. Från vad som var härjande eld, förgängelse och kallnad död gror hon och snart många i vida fält, hon lyser som en Fågel Fenix, ren fröjd för ögat. Se, vad … Continue reading

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Song in autumn rain: Clapton, a man with the blues in his hands

            River of Tears Eric Clapton from the album Pilgrim released 1998 It’s three miles to the river That would carry me away Two miles to the dusty street That I saw you on today … Continue reading

Posted in autumn, blues, copied lyrics, grief, heartache, inspiring songs, life and love, longing, loss, love poem, missing, sadness, unhappiness | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Since you left me lastly

Since you left me lastly I rambling around, lost. My eyes are so dry and burns as the winds have blew away all my tears. I’ve a lump in my throat and my heart is icy cold. You have no … Continue reading

Posted in grief, heartache, loss, lost, love poem, missing, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness, unhappiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Forever never more, not last long for me when about you

“Forever never more, not last long for me when about you.” I wrote that to him and I stand for it! He wrote back to me “I’m sorry I don’t understand what you write now.” Ouch! All the blind alleys … Continue reading

Posted in dreaming, fragile, heartbreaker, hjärtekrossare, life and love, longing, loss, love story, missing, online friends, online romance, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reality, sadness, secret love, sentimentality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

100 years after him

100 years after him I will be no longer! Nor the memory of what never became. 100 years and he will not be either. His dreams for sale; my words remains like lost birds, scattered in the sky. It’s over. … Continue reading

Posted in courage, create life, heartache, leaving, life and love, loss, lost, love story, memories, morality, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, surviving, walk of life, words, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The weed in my garden of love (thistle love)

I met a guy and I loved him but he never knew my love because he only knew the love he claimed he had for me. It was all about his feelings and never about mine. He never knew how … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, courage, create life, desirers, dreamers, fragile, hate, heartache, heartbreaker, hjärtekrossare, leaving, life and love, loneliness, loss, lost, lost trust, love story, morality, poems by vonnely, prose poem, relationships, romance, sadness, Short prose, surviving, vulnerability | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Försvinnande kvinna / Vanishing woman

Vanishing woman Part 1 That late night was now approaching, then when I intended to vanish from you without a trace and wipe you out of my life forever. But late came late all my feet colder. The next morning … Continue reading

Posted in changes, dreaming, heartache, leaving, life and love, loss, lost, love poem, obstacles, old age, poem in English and Swedish, poems by vonnely, Poetry, rebellious lovers, short story, talking, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I was never tougher than the rest

Well, it’s Saturday noon and you’re gone into the blue. I kept an eye on you a while, maybe you did it on me too. It’s true I ran off first because you caused us so much stress. Once you … Continue reading

Posted in borders, fears, loss, lost, love poem, missing, obstacles, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

August rains but doesn’t cry any tears

  August is supposed to be a summer month, at least here there I live. But this year autumn seems to come early. And since it’s raining day after day, the sky is so much darken blue and cloudy that … Continue reading

Posted in autumn, grief, heartache, inspiring music, inspiring songs, loss, poems by vonnely, symbols, unhappiness, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I was easy forgotten

I was easy forgotten just piece of a game the One knew words not ever compassion heart split and alone moving on shattered tears hidden in heart smiles cover up pains

Posted in become old, falsehood, heartbreaker, loneliness, loners, loss, love story, old age, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness, unhappiness, words | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I remember you

I remember you, lovely bearded man, who loved me more than your life (that’s what you told me). But then you dumped me like trash, just like that! It was when you were cornered not to be serious about us … Continue reading

Posted in heartache, life and love, loss, love poem, love story, memories, missing, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, romance | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

At 70!

Vid 70 har man samlat på sig berg av illusioner, förlorade, återvunna, återfunna. Livet går vidare, javisst! Men själv har man nått sin vägs ände och går inte längre med. Och sedan då alla dessa berg som skymmer den fria … Continue reading

Posted in aging, create life, loss, old age, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A romantic dream in color

I heard it said in the old days it’s rare to dream in color. But I now read on the web it’s rather the opposite? I don’t know if it is true or not. My dreams usually vanish from my … Continue reading

Posted in authenticity, courage, dreaming, grief, hope, loss, love story, missing, opportunities, poems by vonnely, prose poem, romance, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

And Sam said

  And Sam said “Lady, you shot me” and he fell back and hasty he bled to death, still in his 30s. Soon 70, I walk my way slow and oldish as life and people have hurt me hard but … Continue reading

Posted in aging, alienation, become old, changes, courage, create life, desirers, fooled, grief, life and love, living with chronic diseases, Living with chronic pains, loss, lost trust, love story, memories, missing, morality, old age, past, Poetry, secret love, sexuality, spring, surviving | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I will see coltsfoot flower this year too

          I have been sitting at my desk today for hours waiting for the blessed words to come to me. But my words seems to have ran out through my door with him who said he … Continue reading

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Once upon a time I had a crush on a young man

Once upon a time I had a crush on a young man. He had such a lovely mustache, dimples in his cheeks and very blue eyes. He looked at me and got my heart to beat faster. But he was … Continue reading

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There’s no tomorrow for what died yesterday

        There’s no love around us anymore what once has solidify will never change It’s silly to believe love is all you need when blindness becomes its only seed Love will fade just like the sun goes … Continue reading

Posted in loss, lost, lost trust, love story, morality, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life, reality, sentimentality, surviving, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Is love’s ending, love in vain?

                    Is love’s ending, love in vain? I woke up and felt like a bus had run over me, it was you! Walking a street, no map and not sure where … Continue reading

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Unhappy, although I’m loved (forget me not)

        I’m unhappy, although I’m loved. And I tell myself every day to be content with what I have, but that doesn’t make me feel better. Unsatisfactions eats my soul like mice making hole in a pantry … Continue reading

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If I’ve lost you, I’ve lost you!

You have been a fortnight offline. And if I’ve lost you, I’ve lost you. I don’t cry but I don’t smile either. It snows when I lower the blinds in the afternoon. It snows when I raise them in morning. … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, heartache, life and love, loss, love poem, online friends, online romance, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, Winter heart | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

August trail

              Kissed by the shadow of what could have been, him gone when August arrived in cooling nights with its Moon’s Mona Lisa smile. And it darkens a little bit more every day. All … Continue reading

Posted in Autumn poem, loss, love poem, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, walk of life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Now we got July

The summer heat holds you by the throat and presses you against its white endless walls. The days floats away unwritten and at night you are kept awake worried in your bed’s twisted, sweaty sheets. So my friend, now we … Continue reading

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I’m sorry

Was I stupid, or was it you who misled me on purpose? No matters! We have all our desires. And I don’t want to blame any of us, but to say “I’m sorry it became as it became”. As these … Continue reading

Posted in dreaming, fooled, heartache, hope, inspiring music, loneliness, loss, love poem, love story, morality, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life, romance, summer poem, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Single “forever”

If you wonder if I miss you the answer is simply “yes”. All other answers are “no”. If you can forget me: good! If you can’t: just live with it. And the same goes for me!   You said your … Continue reading

Posted in aging, armed loneliness, heartache, loneliness, loners, longing, loss, lost trust, love poem, love story, missing, morality, online romance, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Porn is not an issue, it’s just a “no”!

You have met a nice guy, finally. And he’s such an angel to you, nice and charming and respectful. Right? I did too. He’s a believer he told me early on, and preach and pray every day and he teach … Continue reading

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Victims or martyrs or heroes?

Some thoughts from an outside person! Inspired by the latest school shooting in USA (Florida school shooting February 14, 2018) a Swedish newspaper has conducted a peer review among their (Swedish) readers with the question “Do you think it is … Continue reading

Posted in create life, cultures, dreamers, hope, living in the world, loss, memories, morality, visionaries, web papers | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Missing someone

But no common sense can deny the missing in me after you and all I can wish for now is that its bitter-sweetness stays with me all my days left, if you cannot. Ändå kan inget sunt förnuft förneka saknaden … Continue reading

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It causes me pain in my fingers to spread butter on the bread

It causes me pain in my fingers to spread butter on the bread. I have luckily bought ready-sliced cheese home, but when I stretch out my arm for a slice of cheese it hurts in my back. The relapse this … Continue reading

Posted in body image, create life, living with chronic diseases, Living with chronic pains, loneliness, loss, poems by vonnely, reading, web papers | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Disappointed

I woke up one morning the other day and saw like a sign for my inner sight, short simply written “I’m disappointed” Just that: no anger and no frustration, no nothing: not one emotion in motion for all the time … Continue reading

Posted in Attraction, loss, love poem, morality, poem in English and Swedish, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lonely swan dreams in November (haiku)

It don’t come easy – November sun and swan dreams! Where did it all go?      

Posted in aging, blues, dreamers, haiku, inspiring music, loneliness, loss, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A love story in summary

First you got me miss you Then you got me love you You indeed got me to sing Ending, you got me crying    

Posted in Attraction, heartache, inspiring music, loneliness, loss, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

We travel on the same bus in different worlds

I had such dreams latest night! Just before I woke up I dreamt I was on a bus full with other people and I was in company with a person I’m not comfortable to be with. But I meet with  … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, body image, create life, dreamers, living in the world, loss, maturity, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, prose poem, Short prose, walk of life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Chocolate and roses

          If you give me chocolate I’ll give you a kiss, tasted If you give me roses, red I’ll give you my true heart unlimited, if you love me as before – oh, you don’t!   … Continue reading

Posted in grief, heartache, loss, love poem, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment