Category Archives: loss

Fireweed joy (Glädjefält)

Ur den brända marken växer en ros närd av aska. Från vad som var härjande eld, förgängelse och kallnad död gror hon och snart många i vida fält, hon lyser som en Fågel Fenix, ren fröjd för ögat. Se, vad … Continue reading

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Song in autumn rain: Clapton, a man with the blues in his hands

            River of Tears Eric Clapton from the album Pilgrim released 1998 It’s three miles to the river That would carry me away Two miles to the dusty street That I saw you on today … Continue reading

Posted in autumn, blues, copied lyrics, grief, heartache, inspiring songs, life and love, longing, loss, love poem, missing, sadness, unhappiness | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Since you left me lastly

Since you left me lastly I rambling around, lost. My eyes are so dry and burns as the winds have blew away all my tears. I’ve a lump in my throat and my heart is icy cold. You have no … Continue reading

Posted in grief, heartache, loss, lost, love poem, missing, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness, unhappiness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Forever never more, not last long for me when about you

“Forever never more, not last long for me when about you.” I wrote that to him and I stand for it! He wrote back to me “I’m sorry I don’t understand what you write now.” Ouch! All the blind alleys … Continue reading

Posted in dreaming, fragile, heartbreaker, hjärtekrossare, life and love, longing, loss, love story, missing, online friends, online romance, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reality, sadness, secret love, sentimentality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

100 years after him

100 years after him I will be no longer! Nor the memory of what never became. 100 years and he will not be either. His dreams for sale; my words remains like lost birds, scattered in the sky. It’s over. … Continue reading

Posted in courage, create life, heartache, leaving, life and love, loss, lost, love story, memories, morality, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, surviving, walk of life, words, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The weed in my garden of love (thistle love)

I met a guy and I loved him but he never knew my love because he only knew the love he claimed he had for me. It was all about his feelings and never about mine. He never knew how … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, courage, create life, desirers, dreamers, fragile, hate, heartache, heartbreaker, hjärtekrossare, leaving, life and love, loneliness, loss, lost, lost trust, love story, morality, poems by vonnely, prose poem, relationships, romance, sadness, Short prose, surviving, vulnerability | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Försvinnande kvinna / Vanishing woman

Vanishing woman Part 1 That late night was now approaching, then when I intended to vanish from you without a trace and wipe you out of my life forever. But late came late all my feet colder. The next morning … Continue reading

Posted in changes, dreaming, heartache, leaving, life and love, loss, lost, love poem, obstacles, old age, poem in English and Swedish, poems by vonnely, Poetry, rebellious lovers, short story, talking, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I was never tougher than the rest

Well, it’s Saturday noon and you’re gone into the blue. I kept an eye on you a while, maybe you did it on me too. It’s true I ran off first because you caused us so much stress. Once you … Continue reading

Posted in borders, fears, loss, lost, love poem, missing, obstacles, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

August rains but doesn’t cry any tears

  August is supposed to be a summer month, at least here there I live. But this year autumn seems to come early. And since it’s raining day after day, the sky is so much darken blue and cloudy that … Continue reading

Posted in autumn, grief, heartache, inspiring music, inspiring songs, loss, poems by vonnely, symbols, unhappiness, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I was easy forgotten

I was easy forgotten just piece of a game the One knew words not ever compassion heart split and alone moving on shattered tears hidden in heart smiles cover up pains

Posted in become old, falsehood, heartbreaker, loneliness, loners, loss, love story, old age, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness, unhappiness, words | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I remember you

I remember you, lovely bearded man, who loved me more than your life (that’s what you told me). But then you dumped me like trash, just like that! It was when you were cornered not to be serious about us … Continue reading

Posted in heartache, life and love, loss, love poem, love story, memories, missing, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, romance | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

At 70!

Vid 70 har man samlat på sig berg av illusioner, förlorade, återvunna, återfunna. Livet går vidare, javisst! Men själv har man nått sin vägs ände och går inte längre med. Och sedan då alla dessa berg som skymmer den fria … Continue reading

Posted in aging, create life, loss, old age, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A romantic dream in color

I heard it said in the old days it’s rare to dream in color. But I now read on the web it’s rather the opposite? I don’t know if it is true or not. My dreams usually vanish from my … Continue reading

Posted in authenticity, courage, dreaming, grief, hope, loss, love story, missing, opportunities, poems by vonnely, prose poem, romance, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

And Sam said

  And Sam said “Lady, you shot me” and he fell back and hasty he bled to death, still in his 30s. Soon 70, I walk my way slow and oldish as life and people have hurt me hard but … Continue reading

Posted in aging, alienation, become old, changes, courage, create life, desirers, fooled, grief, life and love, living with chronic diseases, Living with chronic pains, loss, lost trust, love story, memories, missing, morality, old age, past, Poetry, secret love, sexuality, spring, surviving | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I will see coltsfoot flower this year too

          I have been sitting at my desk today for hours waiting for the blessed words to come to me. But my words seems to have ran out through my door with him who said he … Continue reading

Posted in changes, courage, create life, faith, hope, life and love, loss, love story, morality, online friends, online romance, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reality, relationships, spring, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Once upon a time I had a crush on a young man

Once upon a time I had a crush on a young man. He had such a lovely mustache, dimples in his cheeks and very blue eyes. He looked at me and got my heart to beat faster. But he was … Continue reading

Posted in alienation, create life, desirers, dreamers, heartache, loneliness, loss, love story, memories, obstacles, prose poem, reading life, sentimentality, sexuality, short story, unhappiness | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

There’s no tomorrow for what died yesterday

        There’s no love around us anymore what once has solidify will never change It’s silly to believe love is all you need when blindness becomes its only seed Love will fade just like the sun goes … Continue reading

Posted in loss, lost, lost trust, love story, morality, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life, reality, sentimentality, surviving, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Is love’s ending, love in vain?

                    Is love’s ending, love in vain? I woke up and felt like a bus had run over me, it was you! Walking a street, no map and not sure where … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, loss, lost, lost trust, love poem, love story, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life, romance, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Unhappy, although I’m loved (forget me not)

        I’m unhappy, although I’m loved. And I tell myself every day to be content with what I have, but that doesn’t make me feel better. Unsatisfactions eats my soul like mice making hole in a pantry … Continue reading

Posted in become old, blues, create life, longing, loss, online friends, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life, reality, repression and borders | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

If I’ve lost you, I’ve lost you!

You have been a fortnight offline. And if I’ve lost you, I’ve lost you. I don’t cry but I don’t smile either. It snows when I lower the blinds in the afternoon. It snows when I raise them in morning. … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, heartache, life and love, loss, love poem, online friends, online romance, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, Winter heart | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

August trail

              Kissed by the shadow of what could have been, him gone when August arrived in cooling nights with its Moon’s Mona Lisa smile. And it darkens a little bit more every day. All … Continue reading

Posted in Autumn poem, loss, love poem, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, walk of life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Now we got July

The summer heat holds you by the throat and presses you against its white endless walls. The days floats away unwritten and at night you are kept awake worried in your bed’s twisted, sweaty sheets. So my friend, now we … Continue reading

Posted in loss, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, walk of life, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I’m sorry

Was I stupid, or was it you who misled me on purpose? No matters! We have all our desires. And I don’t want to blame any of us, but to say “I’m sorry it became as it became”. As these … Continue reading

Posted in dreaming, fooled, heartache, hope, inspiring music, loneliness, loss, love poem, love story, morality, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life, romance, summer poem, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Single “forever”

If you wonder if I miss you the answer is simply “yes”. All other answers are “no”. If you can forget me: good! If you can’t: just live with it. And the same goes for me!   You said your … Continue reading

Posted in aging, armed loneliness, heartache, loneliness, loners, longing, loss, lost trust, love poem, love story, missing, morality, online romance, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Porn is not an issue, it’s just a “no”!

You have met a nice guy, finally. And he’s such an angel to you, nice and charming and respectful. Right? I did too. He’s a believer he told me early on, and preach and pray every day and he teach … Continue reading

Posted in cultures, heartache, loss, lost trust, morality, online romance, poems by vonnely, reading life, relationships, repression and borders, secret love, sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Victims or martyrs or heroes?

Some thoughts from an outside person! Inspired by the latest school shooting in USA (Florida school shooting February 14, 2018) a Swedish newspaper has conducted a peer review among their (Swedish) readers with the question “Do you think it is … Continue reading

Posted in create life, cultures, dreamers, hope, living in the world, loss, memories, morality, visionaries, web papers | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Missing someone

But no common sense can deny the missing in me after you and all I can wish for now is that its bitter-sweetness stays with me all my days left, if you cannot. Ändå kan inget sunt förnuft förneka saknaden … Continue reading

Posted in aging, heartache, loss, love poem, poem in Swedish and English, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

It causes me pain in my fingers to spread butter on the bread

It causes me pain in my fingers to spread butter on the bread. I have luckily bought ready-sliced cheese home, but when I stretch out my arm for a slice of cheese it hurts in my back. The relapse this … Continue reading

Posted in body image, create life, living with chronic diseases, Living with chronic pains, loneliness, loss, poems by vonnely, reading, web papers | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Disappointed

I woke up one morning the other day and saw like a sign for my inner sight, short simply written “I’m disappointed” Just that: no anger and no frustration, no nothing: not one emotion in motion for all the time … Continue reading

Posted in Attraction, loss, love poem, morality, poem in English and Swedish, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lonely swan dreams in November (haiku)

It don’t come easy – November sun and swan dreams! Where did it all go?      

Posted in aging, blues, dreamers, haiku, inspiring music, loneliness, loss, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A love story in summary

First you got me miss you Then you got me love you You indeed got me to sing Ending, you got me crying    

Posted in Attraction, heartache, inspiring music, loneliness, loss, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

We travel on the same bus in different worlds

I had such dreams latest night! Just before I woke up I dreamt I was on a bus full with other people and I was in company with a person I’m not comfortable to be with. But I meet with  … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, body image, create life, dreamers, living in the world, loss, maturity, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, prose poem, Short prose, walk of life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Chocolate and roses

          If you give me chocolate I’ll give you a kiss, tasted If you give me roses, red I’ll give you my true heart unlimited, if you love me as before – oh, you don’t!   … Continue reading

Posted in grief, heartache, loss, love poem, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Online friends, good and bad ones

I have been a member on a pen pal site to and fro since 2011. I have met a few friends for life there, as Anne from England – a very nice lady now 76 years old. We been friends … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, dreamers, fragile, friendship, living in the world, loneliness, loss, morality, online friends, past, poems by vonnely, relationships, repression and borders, sexuality, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I will never love more but you

          I got a call yesterday from an “ex” bf. I remember him as a nice man. He has still a very nice voice. Alluring. But he’s not to trust. Still it was sad to say … Continue reading

Posted in aging, become old, borders, create life, dreamers, loneliness, loss, love poem, love story, memories, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, rebellious lovers, relationships, repression and borders, sadness, secret love, sexuality, walk of life, walls, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

There’s nothing between Stockholm and Agadir

      When it’s plus 6 in Stockholm there’s plus 30 in Agadir. I needed knitted gloves today when I biked to the grocery store. And I was thinking of you meantime biking. How are you doing? The cold … Continue reading

Posted in borders, create life, dreamers, living in the world, loss, love poem, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, rebellious lovers, relationships, secret love | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Long distance heating

This apartment I have, it’s too hot all through the summer. In the fall when the first cold hits outdoors, the temperature drops to normal indoors. Yet it never pleases me, but make me feel uneasy and frozen in the … Continue reading

Posted in Attraction, borders, create life, dreamers, loss, lost, love poem, love story, poems by vonnely, prose poem, sadness, secret love, Sweden view, Swedish conditions | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This angry woman you know so well

          I tell myself you’re just a silly man nothing to bother my thoughts with. I should forget about you and that’s exactly what I never want to do! If you’ll never be with me in … Continue reading

Posted in become old, borders, darkness, loneliness, loss, love poem, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ride the river in this boat

(Sometimes I’m all mixed up, tottered between longing love and resentment, Paradise in Hell.) Woke up this morning realizing I have opened a line, giving a tool through which he can continue to treat me with his old habitual manner … Continue reading

Posted in borders, dreamers, inspiring music, loneliness, loss, love poem, maturity, obstacles, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, prose poem, sadness, secret love, walk of life, walls, with or without you, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I never told you goodbye

  To cut you off was easy and actually an act of self-defense, I don’t expect you to understand. But now I discover I’ve cut off a part of myself. And sometimes during my days it hurts in my absent … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, Autumn poem, darkness, dreamers, loneliness, loss, love poem, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Said within parentheses

            If there were a road back to me, would you choose that road then, would you? Do you miss me like I miss you, do you? (Poor me, loving you so stupidly much.) I … Continue reading

Posted in Autumn poem, loneliness, loss, love story, obstacles, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, repression and borders, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

It never happened

The very power of how you never happened to me will never go away but stay. You never touched my body, but you shook my soul. You aroused in me such a fire and now you’re my only desire. Where … Continue reading

Posted in dreamers, loss, love poem, love story, morality, poem in English and Swedish, poem in Swedish and English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, secret love, walk of life, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I lost him a Thursday in October

I lost him a Thursday in October. It was a chilly but sunny day and I had just went to bed for a nap. It was at 17.39 to be precise and 3600 km away he looked up and met … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, Autumn poem, create life, loss, love poem, love story, morality, past, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

October and I miss you

September leaving and October coming and autumn glow. Rain and clouds holds back and the nature is bright. But we travels on different roads now. Yet I wonder how you’re doing and what you think about. Do you still think … Continue reading

Posted in Autumn poem, loneliness, loss, love poem, love story, nature, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Life is what happens in the background

life is what happens in the background a wagtail chirping outside your window and you don’t know it’s my lonely soul words are written on its wings, tales of lovers like you and me, forever apart from each other, but … Continue reading

Posted in Africa, create life, inspiring music, inspiring picture, living in the world, loneliness, loss, love poem, nature, poem in English and Swedish, poem in Swedish and English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, secret love | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

In September it’s far to next summer

In September it’s very far to next summer. What’s written in the book that I then will be reading? And what will I think of when I look up on the blue summer sky a sunny day? Will I still … Continue reading

Posted in Autumn poem, loss, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

In the essence of the night

There’s an old grief at the bottom of my soul that never heal and goes away. When the cold nights come and I have no one to hold on to, ghosts chase me and makes me feel worthless. My last … Continue reading

Posted in armed loneliness, blues, darkness, heartache, loss, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, threatened | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Cloudy

  I said  “you could at least try to communicate”. He said “how is the weather over there”. “It’s rainy but not cold”, I said. “It rains a lot here”, he said. “Not a lot here”, I said. “It’s cloudy”, … Continue reading

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Out of silence comes the music

            Out of silence comes the music, rises from its longing to itself. But there are silences between people that make love die of lack of nutrition. This, my being now, that what is related to … Continue reading

Posted in blues, create life, heartache, loss, love story, morality, poem in English and Swedish, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, rebellious lovers, relationships, repression and borders, walls | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I used to dream about you, what will I dream about now?

          I used to dream about you, your kindness and your love. What will I dream about now? Light returns, nights get shorter. My days are endlessly empty – what to do when I shouldn’t think … Continue reading

Posted in dreamers, loss, love poem, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment