Category Archives: aging

The miracle to be loved

        He’s the last one to be her first one, yet if so the other in the family rank In the complete desert in her aging and of losses sad, weakened heart, his lasting and devoted love … Continue reading

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Moving (and got a life crisis)

  The silent walls given me, they have become too toxic for me. Though I have loved to live in this area with all the lovely nature close by. But I will leave behind what is in changes to become … Continue reading

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Philosophizes about my (lack of a) love life

I plugged in the wrong end of a cord into my laptop and the electrical system collapsed instantly. Now I sit here without computer and energy, without passion and power and without contact with anyone and I wonder if you … Continue reading

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Longing for the sea (längtan till havet)

I have lived at inlands my whole life. Now with age it feels as if the inlands choke me and I’m longing to the sea. But I feel trapped in poverty and my lack of health and supporting friends. You’re … Continue reading

Posted in aging, dreaming, longing, nature, old age, Poem in Swedish, poem in Swedish and English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, summertime | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

I miss smoking cigarettes

I miss you! But, oh well! I miss smoking cigarettes too! I’ve been told I have done well ending with bad men as well as with cigarettes. Oh well! I haven’t smoked in 18 years. I wonder if I still … Continue reading

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Single “forever”

If you wonder if I miss you the answer is simply “yes”. All other answers are “no”. If you can forget me: good! If you can’t: just live with it. And the same goes for me!   You said your … Continue reading

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Old Woman Blues

It’s a sad thing to have become an old woman, living alone with a cat and a TV set, desperately longing for a warm hand and a little sympathy and someone to talk to: easy victim of wreckers.  

Posted in aging, grief, loneliness, loners, longing, old age, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Vinegar and lemon juice (distracted day)

      We have a quarrel now again and he doesn’t talk and as ever before I’m worried not knowing if it’ll last. On the radio the old time pop star Millie Small sings shrilly “What am I living … Continue reading

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Winter gloom

        December darkness – I feel old and cold, tired and worn out. Who am I to be desired, I ask myself and you too and you really don’t want to hear that bad tune from me. … Continue reading

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December morning

It’s a winter morning, December 13, 2017. The celebration of Lucia Day. Our Queen of Light and Hope come to visit the North one of the darkest days of the year. It is a kind of magic ritual. But we … Continue reading

Posted in aging, Attraction, become old, create life, dreamers, friendship, longing, love poem, poem in Swedish and English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, rebellious lovers, relationships, repression and borders, sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Missing someone

But no common sense can deny the missing in me after you and all I can wish for now is that its bitter-sweetness stays with me all my days left, if you cannot. Ändå kan inget sunt förnuft förneka saknaden … Continue reading

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Lonely swan dreams in November (haiku)

It don’t come easy – November sun and swan dreams! Where did it all go?      

Posted in aging, blues, dreamers, haiku, inspiring music, loneliness, loss, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Diamond love

I’m old, my feet hurts and I can hardly walk and surely not run. But my heart is in good shape, my doctors told me and my brain is better than ever before, you will find out. If you want … Continue reading

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I will never love more but you

          I got a call yesterday from an “ex” bf. I remember him as a nice man. He has still a very nice voice. Alluring. But he’s not to trust. Still it was sad to say … Continue reading

Posted in aging, become old, borders, create life, dreamers, loneliness, loss, love poem, love story, memories, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, rebellious lovers, relationships, repression and borders, sadness, secret love, sexuality, walk of life, walls, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hurry my love, hurry to love…

Birgitta Ulfsson, actor and theater director, died last Sunday October 8, 2017. She became 89 years old. (Born 1928). I didn’t know Birgitta Ulfsson personally, but I became sad to read that she had passed away as if she had … Continue reading

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Climbs the mountains (aging, part 1)

  Log for Tuesday September 12. I have a time  been thinking about write some blog posts about age and aging  – and maybe also about age discrimination. The latter, age discrimination, and myself now being an elderly person is … Continue reading

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I dream of walks in sunsets on a pristine beach

  A young man close to me imagine us come together sitting on a beach talking. In the sunset or sunrise I assume. But I cannot imagine it as a reality to become. Because we live far and we both … Continue reading

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When I’m in bed at night turn off the light

translated from Swedish to English           When I’m in bed at night, turn off the ligh I don’t think about him. Latterly. I think me: I step into me. I am myself. I’m a girl, I … Continue reading

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Request for the last dance

“you should miss me” I wrote to him “I do” I expect him to answer me “you forgot to tell” I shall tell him then   I thought he would be my last dance and with him I’ve done my … Continue reading

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I discovered yesterday myself being happy!

  I discovered yesterday myself being happy. Therefore I woke up today worried in mind as every experienced human having a heart knows romantic love is such a tricky thing – as the lover sending you to heaven today, you … Continue reading

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After the summer vacations

  When you’re left there and everyone has traveled back to their own and your rooms fills you to the brim with their silence and emptiness and all the new things you bought for yourself – shopping in gaiety community … Continue reading

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1967 or 2017 – it’s the same lonely story

          Year 1967 or 2017, 18 or 68 years old – it’s the same story now as in the past. I’m left on my own alone with my books and my poetry and love is still … Continue reading

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Callow mind

Know that I can feel your pain now. Know that I cannot do any for you. Know that you have a callow mind. Your words were too often ignorant and lacked empathy and insight in others emotional lives. I don’t … Continue reading

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Rock me baby, I’m 68 years old today!

Yes, I become 68 years old today! Old old old, I’m told – but like all elderly people I not feel old at all. Well, that’s what everyone thinks from age 32 to 92. Yes, but you know how we … Continue reading

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The end of a love story (I hope you will burn in hell!)

There is a nice poem by Robert Louis Stevenson (the man who also wrote the novel “Treasure Island”). The poem is called “Love What Is Love”: LOVE – what is love? A great and aching heart; Wrung hands; and silence; … Continue reading

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Once we were young and pretty

Once we were young and pretty, but now we’re old and what then rose high and proudly is now grey and dried, low and slow and life has become a struggle with our bodies failures. Although we have lost the … Continue reading

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What can I say? I still miss him

What can I say? I still miss him. The days passes – as in a dream, but I guess this is called “to live”. Muteness spreads in my body – even to my heart. What is, stays the same but … Continue reading

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Sunrises

there was once a time I was transported around like a bag – childhood times ending in left to loneliness new times, you flies over the world in a second, yet you never leave your room disclosing yourself to clouds … Continue reading

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Lost heart

I knew right, but I made it wrong. You knew wrong but made what was right, now you’re gone. You said “love” and you said “forever” but it was just words you spread around like lost leaves in a wind. … Continue reading

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April and silence

          That stranger’s face in my bathroom mirror? It looks oddly familiar? Oh yes – oh no…! It’s me! Those furrows from nose to mouth, deep as ditches – where did they come from? And for … Continue reading

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Ball and chain

            Do I believe he ever loved me? Well, I believe he thought he did! I think he still does, because you can’t turn off love like you turn off a water tap. But I … Continue reading

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“At your own risk”

        And the doctor at the emergency ward said “you go home at your own risk”! But there’s nothing like “at your own risk” if you have dependents – because you don’t belong to yourself but to … Continue reading

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So it’s Monday

              So it’s Monday and you’re back in your deed. I’m still in bed, sleepy thinking how strange someone like you met someone like me. But then I leave bed to make my morning … Continue reading

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I think of my latest lover

                    The year 1971 I was 22, slim and cute and clever and lonely. Now I’m 67 and I’m not slim and cute, maybe clever, surely lonely. And I think of … Continue reading

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wake up to the same

in English below the Swedish text           och jag vaknar till detsamma, det är jag och det är samma liv som igår, varje morgon är likadan som den igår och förrgår, samma liv, samma kropp som … Continue reading

Posted in aging, create life, living with chronic diseases, Living with chronic pains, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Getting old

On the evening news – a feature about home care service and a short interview with an old gentleman in a wheelchair. He looked nice. Smiling – very likeable. He said he always look forward the visits from the staff … Continue reading

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Black and white and bleeding red

 (Short story about black and white, and bleeding red)     It’s snowing heavily, whitening my whole world, while I slowly walk my old and stiff joints to the bus stop. I shuffles clumsily through the slush, while I try … Continue reading

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