Kategoriarkiv: aging

July gloom

And the rain keeps on pouring from the sky, my balcony plants flooded into rotten roots. A face fades away and the days’ grays, alike my hair while my lonely heart shrivels. And I feel like I am sinking away … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, distance, gloom, loneliness, loss, melancholy, mind thing, poem in English and Swedish, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, summer poem, summertime, with or without you | Märkt , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

(Unable to) turn life around

To turn around to look in another direction seems easier than it actually is: you have your blinders on and you get stuck into one or the other futility and makes it to something utterly essential. Your mind becomes your … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, coping skills, incapacity, life turns, loneliness, loss, lost, mind thing, past, poem in English and Swedish, poem in Swedish and English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness, thinking, troubled life, unhappiness | Märkt , , , , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

Midsummer Dreams in the freezer

        Lonely men All these lonely men, where do they all come from? And to what will they go with all their dreams, kept strictly secret in their hearts, and at their backs and behind harsh smiles? … Läs mer

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You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet!

                  Fy fan för äldreboenden, ättestupa och hurtig underhållning med Evert Taube! Jag skulle hellre äta råttgift än att bo där! Den sen decennier bortgångne och mytologiserade trubaduren Taube är sannerligen ingen … Läs mer

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The Day cools down / Dagen svalnar

  Tiden har gått och dagen svalnar, men ett sårat hjärta blöder ännu lätt. Ett ansikte stelnat som en mask och tårar, dolda. Salta åkrar ger ingen grodd och ingen skörd. Fridfull ter sig din ofrid när som natten nalkas. … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, courage, create life, dreamers, nature, opportunities, past, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, present time, recollections, remembering, seasons, spring, vulnerability | Märkt , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

Rain in May and potting soil

(In English below) Jag tänkte gå ut och köpa något (Microlax, toalettpapper och blomjord) Men det regnar idag (också), bra för grönskan och jag kan vänta med att gå ut nån dag till, det kan inte regna för evigt heller! … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, cultures, inspiring music, joy, morality, old age, poem in English and Swedish, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, remembering | Märkt , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

Aging female body (part I and II)

He made me hate my aging body, as mercilessly mirrored when I dress in the hall looking at these undeniably saggy boobs and right before, in the bathroom caring for what’s secretly hidden ”down there” my flaccid pussy prickly dry … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, alienation, become old, body image, changes, closeness, create life, desirers, dreamers, falsity, fears, fragility, images, life and love, loneliness, lost romance, lost trust, maturity, old age, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, vulnerability | Märkt , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 kommentarer

Corona apartheid

The Corona strategy  has created apartheid in Sweden of the elderly instead of a fair and equal lockdown of the whole society. After the Easter weekend, the voluntary restrictions no longer work among common people, some just going wildly at … Läs mer

Publicerat i abuse, aging, alienation, become old, discourse by vonnely, distance, falsity, fears, human rights, living with others, living with sickness, loneliness, loners, politics, prose, separated, Sweden view, Swedish "culture", troubled life, welfare | Märkt , , , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

Lady Corona: heaven can wait, we old don’t want to die!

”I wanted to live,” said a 92 years old Louise in a report on Swedish TV news and in an interview in the Swedish tabloid Expressen. She has survived both covid-19 and intensive care and has now been discharged from … Läs mer

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Botten, Linköping stad och dess nonchalanta ungdom i Corona-tider!

Staden: kollade häromveckan kommunens webbsida för att söka efter hjälp att få handlat. Mycket information om hur bli volontär hittade jag, ingen information alls hur att få hjälp! Det är så rart att staden och organisationer som Röda Korset har … Läs mer

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I have decided to be happy!

I turn 71 in April and I may reach 75 – or 74, but that would be too sad short to imagine. I hope to be at least 85 and still be movable. Let’s say I’ll have 15 years left, … Läs mer

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Do I really dare to leave home?

  It’s evening and I want to go out for a short walk. But do I really dare to leave home? I read on some website that about 46 % of us over 65 who falls cannot get up on … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, fragile, lost, old age, poems by vonnely, reality, sadness | Märkt , , , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

Her best friend (republished)

From July 2014, the original in Swedish on 17 July, the translation  now rewritten. She once had a best friend and Ralph was his name and he had a wife, Lena, and three children and one cat and he built … Läs mer

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Elderly balance (single-leg stance)

When 18 people read my texts I exist. Otherwise it is not much with that, unless I not wake up in the night with cramps in one lower leg, then I surely know I’m alive. I hear on the TV … Läs mer

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The current historylessness (Dysterkvistar)

Here my bumpy thighs and unnoticed life which still is in progress, yet declining. All I have ever accomplished is aging, now I’m not 30 and depressed anymore, but read the literary reviews: such gloom and pretensions! It get me … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, alienation, cultures, past, poem in English and Swedish, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, politics, reading life, reading newspapers, reality, Sweden view, Swedish "culture", Swedish conditions, Swedish souls, visionaries, web papers, welfare, words, writing | Märkt , , , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

The dismantling of a writer: Patricia Highsmith

Few writers have been written about over time as much as Patricia Highsmith. She cannot be overlooked but yet looked down on. Writers and journalists who probably got the assignment to write about her and accept it to be able … Läs mer

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Visiting the local library

                I (Friday, February 7) It is a Friday noon and I’ll wash my hair and when it has dried, I intend to take the bus to city and walk from there to … Läs mer

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Lost love, gloom forever to be

        I never got to know you in this all real world, where one breathe, eat, shit and pay the rent. But still, it was meant to be, you and me. Yet your demanding impatience (as I … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, gloom, grief, life and love, loneliness, loners, loss, lost, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reality, relationships, vulnerability | Märkt , , , , , , , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

I know Sophie

I know Sophie, she lives upstairs and sometimes when I meet her at the front door she says a shy ”hi” and hastily takes the stair home to her own. Neighbors say she has lived here for a long time … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, alienation, armed loneliness, loneliness, loners, lost, old age, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, vulnerability | Märkt , , , , , , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

Teeth, to be or not to be (Tänder, att vara eller inte vara)

I stared in complete shock at the pieces of plastic in my hand! Then I phoned the dentist office. I visited the dentist the very next day. And I was told that maybe my broken partial denture can be repaired … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, Attraction, authenticity, become old, create life, left aside, living with chronic diseases, Living with chronic pains, loners, loss, sexuality, Sweden view, Swedish conditions, welfare | Märkt , , , , , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

She takes her daily walk

Old and lonely and slightly stooped yet unbowed she takes her daily walk, not for any other reason than it makes her feel good and almost happy, being alive. The grass is green, the air is good to breathe and … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, Autumn poem, old age, Poetry | Märkt , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

Done with men (färdig med karlar)

I’m going to read 100 novels and then die! But if when 100 done, I still have time left, I will read 100 more novels and list the first hundred and the other 100 and meanwhile my double bed will … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, loners, old age, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading, single-handed voyage, walk of life, Winter heart | Märkt , , , , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

Weak sleep and bladder and dreams

        I barely slept last night One hour at a time and I had to pee more than once, and when dozing I got the dream that all my hair had changed to white, but when I … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, become old, changes, dreaming, loneliness, missing, obstacles, old age, poems, poems by vonnely, reality, secret love, sentimentality | Märkt , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

Wisdom Wells

              (translated from Swedish) When summer so sleeps its last rest, the fall flames as fire yet chilly. Then the young hero comes to the Nordic regions to find his Crone, she the wise … Läs mer

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At my age! (2) (prose)

”At my age anything unexpected that isn’t medical or mortal should be celebrated.”A quote attributed to Kathleen Brennan.               If any say ”at my age”, she’s for sure not 6 years old… or 20 … Läs mer

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At my age!

I came old and stood at the edge, mirrored nothingness fearing but fighting, as faced the end of the mortal “me” Then I met him, a freedom fighter for his own good only He caught me and brought me a … Läs mer

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Hedgehog men

          He sent me a photo and he had a chin like a hedgehog. He said ”You can kiss me as much as you want!” ”Oh thanks,” I said in fear. ”Yet I don’t!”     … Läs mer

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At 70!

Vid 70 har man samlat på sig berg av illusioner, förlorade, återvunna, återfunna. Livet går vidare, javisst! Men själv har man nått sin vägs ände och går inte längre med. Och sedan då alla dessa berg som skymmer den fria … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, create life, loss, old age, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, reading life | Märkt , , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

Tom talks to my young suitor

  He think I’m weak and he think I’m fragile, yet he cling to me harder than glue. I want to die with him inside me, but I don’t know if I ever will be able to live with him … Läs mer

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And Sam said

  And Sam said ”Lady, you shot me” and he fell back and hasty he bled to death, still in his 30s. Soon 70, I walk my way slow and oldish as life and people have hurt me hard but … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, alienation, become old, changes, courage, create life, desirers, fooled, grief, life and love, living with chronic diseases, Living with chronic pains, loss, lost trust, love story, memories, missing, morality, old age, past, Poetry, secret love, sexuality, spring, surviving | Märkt , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

The miracle to be loved

        He’s the last one to be her first one, yet if so the other in the family rank In the complete desert in her aging and of losses sad, weakened heart, his lasting and devoted love … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, armed loneliness, dreamers, heartache, loneliness, love poem, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, romance | Märkt , , , , , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

Moving (and got a life crisis)

  The silent walls given me, they have become too toxic for me. Though I have loved to live in this area with all the lovely nature close by. But I will leave behind what is in changes to become … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, create life, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, walk of life | Märkt , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

Philosophizes about my (lack of a) love life

I plugged in the wrong end of a cord into my laptop and the electrical system collapsed instantly. Now I sit here without computer and energy, without passion and power and without contact with anyone and I wonder if you … Läs mer

Publicerat i Africa, aging, Attraction, become old, body image, borders, loneliness, online romance, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, romance, sexuality, summer poem, summertime | Märkt , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

Longing for the sea (längtan till havet)

I have lived at inlands my whole life. Now with age it feels as if the inlands choke me and I’m longing to the sea. But I feel trapped in poverty and my lack of health and supporting friends. You’re … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, dreaming, longing, nature, old age, Poem in Swedish, poem in Swedish and English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, summertime | Märkt , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

I miss smoking cigarettes

I miss you! But, oh well! I miss smoking cigarettes too! I’ve been told I have done well ending with bad men as well as with cigarettes. Oh well! I haven’t smoked in 18 years. I wonder if I still … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, create life, love poem, memories, missing, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, romance | Märkt , , , , , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

Single ”forever”

If you wonder if I miss you the answer is simply ”yes”. All other answers are ”no”. If you can forget me: good! If you can’t: just live with it. And the same goes for me!   You said your … Läs mer

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Old Woman Blues

It’s a sad thing to have become an old woman, living alone with a cat and a TV set, desperately longing for a warm hand and a little sympathy and someone to talk to: easy victim of wreckers.  

Publicerat i aging, grief, loneliness, loners, longing, old age, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Märkt , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

Vinegar and lemon juice (distracted day)

      We have a quarrel now again and he doesn’t talk and as ever before I’m worried not knowing if it’ll last. On the radio the old time pop star Millie Small sings shrilly “What am I living … Läs mer

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Winter gloom

        December darkness – I feel old and cold, tired and worn out. Who am I to be desired, I ask myself and you too and you really don’t want to hear that bad tune from me. … Läs mer

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December morning

It’s a winter morning, December 13, 2017. The celebration of Lucia Day. Our Queen of Light and Hope come to visit the North one of the darkest days of the year. It is a kind of magic ritual. But we … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, Attraction, become old, create life, dreamers, friendship, longing, love poem, poem in Swedish and English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, rebellious lovers, relationships, repression and borders, sexuality | Märkt , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

Missing someone

But no common sense can deny the missing in me after you and all I can wish for now is that its bitter-sweetness stays with me all my days left, if you cannot. Ändå kan inget sunt förnuft förneka saknaden … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, heartache, loss, love poem, poem in Swedish and English, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Märkt , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

Lonely swan dreams in November (haiku)

It don’t come easy – November sun and swan dreams! Where did it all go?      

Publicerat i aging, blues, dreamers, haiku, inspiring music, loneliness, loss, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Märkt , , , , , , , , , , , , | Lämna en kommentar

Diamond love

I’m old, my feet hurts and I can hardly walk and surely not run. But my heart is in good shape, my doctors told me and my brain is better than ever before, you will find out. If you want … Läs mer

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I will never love more but you

          I got a call yesterday from an ”ex” bf. I remember him as a nice man. He has still a very nice voice. Alluring. But he’s not to trust. Still it was sad to say … Läs mer

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Hurry my love, hurry to love…

Birgitta Ulfsson, actor and theater director, died last Sunday October 8, 2017. She became 89 years old. (Born 1928). I didn’t know Birgitta Ulfsson personally, but I became sad to read that she had passed away as if she had … Läs mer

Publicerat i aging, inspiring literature, inspiring music, poems by vonnely, reading, rebellious lovers, roots | Märkt , , , , , , , , , , | 5 kommentarer

Climbs the mountains (aging, part 1)

  Log for Tuesday September 12. I have a time  been thinking about write some blog posts about age and aging  – and maybe also about age discrimination. The latter, age discrimination, and myself now being an elderly person is … Läs mer

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I dream of walks in sunsets on a pristine beach

  A young man close to me imagine us come together sitting on a beach talking. In the sunset or sunrise I assume. But I cannot imagine it as a reality to become. Because we live far and we both … Läs mer

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When I’m in bed at night turn off the light

translated from Swedish to English           When I’m in bed at night, turn off the ligh I don’t think about him. Latterly. I think me: I step into me. I am myself. I’m a girl, I … Läs mer

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Request for the last dance

”you should miss me” I wrote to him ”I do” I expect him to answer me ”you forgot to tell” I shall tell him then   I thought he would be my last dance and with him I’ve done my … Läs mer

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I discovered yesterday myself being happy!

  I discovered yesterday myself being happy. Therefore I woke up today worried in mind as every experienced human having a heart knows romantic love is such a tricky thing – as the lover sending you to heaven today, you … Läs mer

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