Hold my heart in your memory

So hold my heart in
your memory, because
I can’t believe any else
than time will bring you
to me and me to you

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Posted in dreamers, love poem, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

On Saturday, Madrid will sing for us?

Catalonian President Carles Puigdemont

A respite is set to Saturday for Catalonian President Carles Puigdemont by the government in Madrid. But it’s just a helpless game for the galleries. What is going on behind the curtains we don’t have access to, just hoping there is anything going on!

The repression coming for the Catalans is though inevitable – as sure as demonstrations and riots will follows.

As the saying goes, like rats abandoning a sinking ship, Banco Sabadell leaves Barceona for Madrid and others say they want to follow. But it only means right now that the banks and companies expect an independent republic will come – and a republic of Catalonia will not be a member of the EU – so they have to leave. They say it’s not a standpoint, it in not.

The Spanish newspaper El Pais talked about the nerve war between Rejoy and Pudgimenont as a cat and rat game. First, I thought the analogy was ridiculous, but I must admit they are right. At present, it’s not so much a question of what will happen but a psychological war about WHO’S FAULT it is, when violence and repression breaks out. It will.

Spain’s prime minister Mariano Rajoy

So while people around the world and media gathered in Barcelona waits for WHAT WILL BE, Rejoy and Pudgemont are already writing the history books of what has not yet happened, neither want the blame for it, you see!

I can’t help but I feel a bit pity for Madrid and for the Rajoy government. They’re like sitting in a fox foothold… just like a helpless but big angry dad who just knows about the spanking stick as a tool for discipline.

 


Posted in "culture", create life, living in the world, obstacles, poems by vonnely, politics, web papers | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lost direction

You were my direction. Now
I’m lost and confused. I walk
around every day like a dog
that does not belong to any.

 

Posted in lost, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Human Right to Pee and Poop in Peace

 

 

 

 

There lives 7,5 billions people on earth. 2,5 billions have to go outdoors too pee and poop, 4,5 billions have no access to a toilet in the own household. They have no water to wash their hands. They have no clean water to drink.

Women and girls wait to dark to sneak out at fields to pee and poop, doing this they risk to be sexually attacked and raped. Girls in poverty countries can’t go to school because there is no toilets and they can’t take care of their hygiene during menstrual period and they get harassed by boys and men to and fro school.

Those girls can’t change their life without a change in their life conditions. It start with get an access to toilets and water. Then to schools and education. Further more: abolition of genital mutilation, the right to work on the labor market and to marry freely. The right not depend on males (husband or relatives) for legal rights.

We should all see ourselves in the context being one of 7,5 billion people and be aware in our part of the world not many are forced to live as victims. If you get victimized you can get tools to free yourself from your suffering. You are not defined by your circumstances as people in development countries or in refugee camps.

Imagine not having a toilet. Imagine fear rape for leaving home to pee and poop. Imagine not be able to wash your hands. Imagine to be forced to drink unclean water.

Coming month, November 19, is World Toilet day of UN declared.

Adding: It’s a tendency today people in the West world democracies  acts selfish and xenophobic and abandon the oppressed and vote for popular politicians with a conservative and racist agenda. If we not watch out we will vote in fascism in our countries in soon future.

KIBERA SLUM, NAIROBI, KENYA – AUGUST 2008: Images of impoverished girls who are very vulnerable in their communities, on August 20, 2008 in Nairobi, Kenya. The Nike Foundation for Girls has made small stipends available to fund a community for girls in disadvantaged area based on the fact that girls prove to be a better investment in poor communities than boys do. Many of these girls have now made friends, gained support and learnt job skills via these community facilities for girls. Nike Foundation believes that supporting girls is the key to a better future for everyone. (Photo by Brent Stirton/Getty Images)

 

Random links:

http://www.lifegate.com/people/news/ruby-cup-africa

 

http://www.peepoople.com/

http://www.wateraid.org/policy-practice-and-advocacy

https://www.groundup.org.za/article/more-toilets-will-save-south-africa-money_2889/

http://www.mynewsdesk.com/no/biovac-environmental-technology-as/news/et-lite-bidrag-fra-biovac-en-stor-hjelp-for-unicef-221619

http://www.worldtoiletday.info/

http://blogs.reuters.com/india/2011/09/30/indian-women-hard-pressed-to-relieve-themselves/

http://www.vi-tidningen.se/ingen-skitsak/

A quote from the Swedish magazine Vi translated to English. Camilla Wirseen talesperson  Peepoople say:
“That this is primarily a women’s issue has made the case low priority.
Last year, the organization Wateraid tried to make Sweden aware of an equally enormous and neglected gender equality problem – the toilet shortage. A debate article in Uppsala Nya Tidning /local Swedish newspaper/ emphasized that sanitation is a human right that is violated daily – and that is the women who are most affected by the hardest. Having no access to a toilet near their home means that some refrain from eating, which in the long run leads to malnutrition, urinary tract infections and indigestion. In addition to the immediate health consequences, it also means worsening educational and income opportunities. When there are no toilets at school, many girls decide to end the day they get…. 

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This angry woman you know so well

 

 

 

 

 

I tell myself you’re just a silly man
nothing to bother my thoughts with.
I should forget about you and that’s
exactly what I never want to do! If
you’ll never be with me in the long
cold Scandinavian winter nights –
maybe you anyhow will remember
that far away there’s this angry but
yet freezing woman longing for your
warm embraces. Yes, this woman me
you know so well in your heart, who
will love you for the rest of her days!

 

 

 

Posted in become old, borders, darkness, loneliness, loss, love poem, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The bull in Madrid and the donkey in Barcelona

There seems to be very little of sympathy in Europe for Mr. Puigdemont, the President of Catalonia, and for his efforts to create an independent state. The objections are several by many on different levels, public or private views. It is said in media EU don’t want it as union got enough of dealing with UK and Brexit. France have official declared they will never recognize Catalonia as a separate nation. Mr. Juncker say if he could vote, he would vote to keep Spain together as it is but he can’t vote. He fear a domino effect – more of independence movements in Europe would disturb his visions for the future EU.”

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-41610863

If we allow, but it’s not our business, that Catalonia becomes independent, others will do the same and I wouldn’t like that,” he said.” I wouldn’t like a European Union in 15 years that consists of some 90 states.”

He is a pusher and like the rest leaders for the conservative right wing parties in EU he strive for to make Europe to one union with one military and one foreign policy. I count in Macron in that circle of conservative politicians.

http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/864729/Catalonia-independence-referendum-Rajoy-Merkel-Macron-Juncker

Merkel, Macron and Juncker shamelessly back Spanish PM on Catalonia

I like Merkel, although she’s a conservative politician, as she’s a positive symbol for Europe to have and a pragmatist for a common sense, lacking very much in the world today – and I wow Macron winning the French election – as anything is better than Le Pen’s and her equals! It’s not the same as I like those Christ Democratic parties with conservative right-wing agendas that’s unfortunately is in power in Europe and West overall now.

With the galloping development the last decades – latest days the election of the new leader of Swedish right-wing party and the success for that kid Kurz in Austria we reached at a hill of the development of increasing intolerance we today live in a pre-fascistic world ruled by democratic elected parties by voters in each country. (Eye on Hungary – Poland – Trump – Brexit and..)

Swedish foreign minister said about the referendum the 1 of October that is was illegal – as anything was said by that.(Once, it was “illegal” for black people to pee in the same toilets as whities – and whatever else!)But her goal since she left EU and became foreign minister in Sweden is to make a difference with get Sweden power inside UN and it’s as a powerful position as a fart in an outhouse. But for the membership in the Security Council she and Sweden dropped the cause for West Saharans, Palestinians, Berber and I don’t know whatever more repressed groups world around, their hopes for the progressive Swedish good reputation, now fading away … This woman is nothing more than a flop and a disappointment. (I give a thorn towards Sweden only because I’m a Swede, living in Sweden.)

The referendum certainly was illegal as PP in govern in Spain as early as 2010 in practice restricted Catalonia to be able to governing and their right to make their own laws. If Madrid cancels Catalonia laws, well yes – then the consequently their independent practice in every sense is “illegal”!

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/catalonia-spain-law-businesses-companies-leave-madrid-independence-referendum-latest-a7986536.html

Swedish newspapers and journalists seems pretty unanimously condemn the Catalonian nationalism. Because “nationalism” is a bad word and it smell conservatism. Well…! This so, in spite it’s the conservative parties now runs west world and thwarts local movements. The Swedish media too fear the “domino”-effect. Yet we have got a lot of new nations in Europe and it seems not have threaten the EU-agenda. There is no “domino”-effect “can become”, it has been going on latest hundred years. But! I found an exception in an article written by Anna Jörgendotter, Swedish writer and journalist born 1973, who has researched and wrote a book about  the Spanish Civil War. “It is the authoritarian that is the disaster” she writes in a Swedish newspaper.

https://www.sydsvenskan.se/2017-10-08/det-ar-det-auktoritara-som-ar-katastrofen

Yes, and it is the authoritarian in the Spanish attitude, that’s my primary interest in this matter, the liberation of Catalonia from Spain. I find it upsetting, unacceptable and unwise – and worrying.

Among the argument to be heard is it would not be economically possible for Catalonia to exist outside EU and that Spain would reject any apply for membership to EU, common people would sink in welfare. It is also said the Catalans are not oppressed, a s it has they have autonomy and the province is a wealthy part of Spain. They (the Catalans) have nothing to complain about and should frankly shut up. (It’s likely lose access to EU and the economical sanctions already implemented by the Spanish government the last years will cause severe difficulties for Catalonia.)

Now… May so be all those who don’t applaud the nationalism of Catalonia are right? I honestly don’t know what Puigdemont agenda is except the claim for independence, so consequently I don’t know in what matter how politically conservative or radical he is. But I want to say this: you don’t have to be poor and starving, beaten, tortured and raped or belong to the third world or be “PC” (political correct) to be in the right to have and to declare independency. Simply so.

You may have diamonds under your soles, but if people you are with treat you as second class citizens – you should not be with them, it’s not good for you.

As said, Madrid already made efforts during 2010 to now to undermine and destroy Catalan economy and Puigdemont’s cause. The 4 October  this year Spain founded a law for banks and other to leave Catalonia. Madrid picked the diamonds to destroy Catalonia economy and threaten with law 155 taking away those political liberties the Catalans have to now.

http://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/13/opinion/catalonia-spain-puigdemont.html

“Can Spain Become a Country That No One Wants to Leave?
Creating a country is a complex, expensive process: To take such a step you need a huge amount of support. Usually, independence is achieved after a long war, or the fall of a colonial power. At the least, it requires the gathering of an overwhelming majority. In Catalonia, I’m glad to say, the first two options seem impossible. The third one is not in place. To start as a new but divided country would be a recipe for disaster.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/catalonia-spain-law-businesses-companies-leave-madrid-independence-referendum-latest-a7986536.html

Spain passes law to help businesses move out of region
Spain’s government has passed a law making it easier for companies to move their official base out of Catalonia, a move that could deal a heavy blow to the region’s finances.

So what with the idyllic picture of a Catalonia as an independent and flourishing part of Spanish Kingdom-  before this “sudden” referendum?

2010 the Catalan parliament founded a law that forbid bullfighting. October 2016 Spain annulled this law, declaring bullfighting is part of the Spain identity, it’s “art” and a “cultural heritage”.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/bullfighting-catalonia-spain-court-overturns-ban-a7371676.html#commentsDivhttps://www.svt.se/nyheter/utrikes/spaniens-hogsta-domstol-haver-lokalt-tjurfaktningsforbud

 

 

 

 

This nationalistic bullfighting “sport” and “art” is close heart for Mariano Rajoy  and his party PP = Partido Popular.

Partido Popular protect the bullfighting culture and business as a cultural heritage, an art and a sport and a fundament for the agricultures economy to survive. Spain have agricultural support from EU providing the breed of bulls. EU told it should not be used to that but has not done any efficient to prevent it – if that so is? If so is, it means Swedish tax money goes to the breed of bulls for bullfighting.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/feb/11/bullfighting-spanish-heritage-petition

Bullfighting could be declared key part of Spanish heritage
Petition seeks to have bullfights categorised as an asset of cultural interest, a move that would give promoters tax breaks

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/spain/7377754/Spanish-bullfighting-should-be-given-UNESCO-protection.html

As bulls are used in different ways in festivals in Catalonia but with no killing, critics have question the Catalan motive for an anti-bullfighting as suspicion it as a tool for political national purposes, less for the care of animals. But to produce negative insinuations of “underlying” motives is also a tool and a part of patronizing attitudes from a counterparty and the outside world.

It is same fair as “the art” of bullfighting: the organizers first prepare the event with isolate the bull days before in darkness for days and mistreat the animal in other ways, coming in daylight is a demoralizing shock for a traumatized and weakened animal running out in hope to get free from  fear and torture – then  picadors wound the bulls neck muscle with spears, making it impossible for the animal to raise his head, not to talk about the stress and the pain…. and so on to final killing… It’s not art or sport to torture animals. It’s just sick.

http://advocacy.britannica.com/blog/advocacy/2010/08/the-romance-and-reality-of-bullfighting-2/

And to return to the political arena in Spain: no doubt there is a lot of patronizing words and threats here.

From Monday newspaper El pais:

Puigdemont mantiene el juego del ratón y el gato =Puigdemont maintains the game mouse and cat

…although twisted, it’s actually funny 🙂 Puigdemont as the evil cat and the government in Madrid as the poor little mouse. 😀

https://elpais.com/elpais/2017/10/16/opinion/1508145118_242737.html

Further:

https://politica.elpais.com/politica/2017/10/16/actualidad/1508144294_037334.html

Cataluña está en la cima de la pirámide de Maslow.

(Catalonia is at the top of Maslow’s pyramid.)

Yes, but as I said before : you don’t have to be poor and starving, beaten, tortured and raped or belong to the third world or be “PC” (political correct) to be in the right to have and to declare independency.

Rejoy do not like demonstrations and freedom of speech much. But ultra-right people running the streets now in October, doing Hitler greetings and screaming Franco songs, is that okay, Mr. Rejoy?

Is it okay honored writers at El Pais?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4959952/Spain-supporters-fascist-salutes-independence-demo.html

No jailing, no fees for them? Only for young students with a twitter account?

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/spain-s-freedom-of-speech-repression-is-no-joke-a7688341.html

Spain’s freedom of speech repression is no joke
Spain’s difficult past keeps censorship an issue in the present day

 Cassandra Vera, a 21-year-old student from the city of Murcia in the south-east of Spain, has been sentenced to a year in prison, and disqualified from public functions for seven years, after making jokes on Twitter that “glorified terrorism”.

Between 2013 and 2016, Vera published 13 tweets that commented on terrorist group ETA’s assassination of Luis Carrero Blanco, which happened in 1973. Blanco had been expected to succeed dictator Francisco Franco, and was a long time ally of the general.

Ruling on her crime, judges in the National Audience, Spain’s top criminal court, stated that Vera’s tweets “constitute contempt, dishonour, disrepute, mockery and affront to the people who have suffered the blow of terrorism”.

Vera is not the only one sentence to jail in Sapin.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/mar/12/spain-security-law-protesters-freedom-expression

The Spanish senate has voted to push forward with controversial changes to the country’s public security laws, cracking down on Spaniards’ rights of freedom of assembly and expression despite opposition from activists and human rights groups.

To look closer at this Spanish party in charge, Partido Popular, you soon find it’s a hard core right wing party who has its roots in Alianza Popular (AP) once created by ministers from Franco time and to gather Franco supporters for become civilized creating a democratic development of the country.

The People’s Alliance (Spanish: Alianza Popular [aˈljanθa popuˈlar], AP [aˈpe]) was a post-Francoist electoral coalition, and later a conservative political party in Spain, founded in 1976 as federation of political associations. Transformed into a party in 1977 and led by Manuel Fraga, it became the main conservative right-wing party in Spain. It was refounded as the People’s Party in 1989. (source: Wikipedia People’s Alliance (Spain)

The PP man Pablo Pasado warned Puigdemont he could face the same destiny as the former Catalan, Lluís Companys, who declared indepence of Catalonien in 1934. This man, Lluís Companys, became in 1940 executed by Franco. Mr. Pasado had then after to explain for media he was thinking of jail for Puigdemont. Not murder him. Well, that’s nice of him. He just thought we should learn of the history, he said.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/catalonia-referendum-independence-spain-jail-carles-puigdemont-threat-leader-latest-a7991191.html

Mr. Rejoy and Mr. Puigdemont really have difficulties to communicate. It’s dead-lock. Now Leroy has given Puigdemont another three days to tell “yes” or “no”. The thing is: for Mr. Puigdemont it is not about “yes” or “no” but “how” – and trying to avoid violence. And Madrid see no choice than to use repression and violence and they fear it… so they push it forward, “you have three more days…”

There is rumours a third part try to giving a helping. It’s represents from Basque. Yes, really… no one has forgot ETA!

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-10-11/basques-are-said-to-work-back-channel-between-catalans-and-spain

The Basque Country’s ruling party is acting as an interlocutor between Spain’s central government and the Catalan regional executive in a bid to reduce tension and find a compromise, according to three people familiar with the matter.

Senior officials from the Basque Nationalist Party, known as the PNV, have been trying to find common ground between Madrid and Barcelona to limit the fallout from the biggest institutional clash of Spain’s democratic era, said the people, who asked not to be named because the matter is confidential.

(Wikipedia tells: Bloomberg News is an international news agency headquartered in New York, United States and a division of Bloomberg L.P.)

My son is only 33 and I don’t understand how he knows all what he knows, I’ve never knew about this specific story, but of course I should have! Well anyhow, I found an article about in the Spanish newspaper El Pais.

Luis R. Aizpeolea

It’s translated to English. fantastical written and so thrilling by a journlist at El Pais named Luis R. Aizpeolea. I don’t know who he this, but if you want to read something like an action movie, you just have to read his article! While reading I just forgot I had to shower and wash my hair for going downtown!

https://elpais.com/elpais/2013/12/18/inenglish/1387374599_382537.html

ETA Terror 1973 Madrid

And in a passing my son then said in the same conversation “we still see reminder from those days, as for example the security measures before the visit of President Obama in Sweden 2013 when every street sewers on the streets of Stockholm were carefully investigated and welded. In other words, we do learn from the history, at least institutions for security like the Swedish police sources – and they do it so well. Their training is something for export!

preparing for President Obama coming to Stockholm 2013

 

 

 

 

 

 

The latest news last night:

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-41646142

Catalonia: Spain detains two separatists

A Spanish judge has remanded two key members of the Catalan independence movement in jail.Jordi Sánchez, who heads the Catalan National Assembly (ANC), and Jordi Cuixart, leader of Omnium Cultural, are being held without bail while they are under investigation for sedition.The men are seen as leading figures in organising a 1 October independence vote, which Spanish courts suspended.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/oct/17/madrid-jails-catalan-separatist-leaders-jordi-cuixart-and-jordi-sanchez-pending-investigation

Jordi Sánchez, who heads the Catalan National Assembly (ANC), and Jordi Cuixart, leader of Omnium Cultural, are being held without bail while they are under investigation for sedition.

 

 

What happens next only time will tell.

 

 

 

 

 

LINKS:

 

 

 

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-41584864
Catalonia crisis in 300 words

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-41610863

http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/864729/Catalonia-independence-referendum-Rajoy-Merkel-Macron-Juncker

https://www.sydsvenskan.se/2017-10-08/det-ar-det-auktoritara-som-ar-katastrofen

nytimes.com/2017/10/13/opinion/catalonia-spain-puigdemont.html
“Can Spain Become a Country That No One Wants to Leave?”

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/catalonia-spain-law-businesses-companies-leave-madrid-independence-referendum-latest-a7986536.html

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/bullfighting-catalonia-spain-court-overturns-ban-a7371676.html#commentsDiv

https://www.svt.se/nyheter/utrikes/spaniens-hogsta-domstol-haver-lokalt-tjurfaktningsforbud

http://advocacy.britannica.com/blog/advocacy/2010/08/the-romance-and-reality-of-bullfighting-2/

nytimes.com/2017/10/13/opinion/catalonia-spain-puigdemont.html?ref=oembed

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/catalonia-spain-law-businesses-companies-leave-madrid-independence-referendum-latest-a7986536.html

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/bullfighting-catalonia-spain-court-overturns-ban-a7371676.html#commentsDiv

https://www.svt.se/nyheter/utrikes/spaniens-hogsta-domstol-haver-lokalt-tjurfaktningsforbud

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/feb/11/bullfighting-spanish-heritage-petition

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/spain/7377754/Spanish-bullfighting-should-be-given-UNESCO-protection.html

http://advocacy.britannica.com/blog/advocacy/2010/08/the-romance-and-reality-of-bullfighting-2/

https://elpais.com/elpais/2017/10/16/opinion/1508145118_242737.html

https://politica.elpais.com/politica/2017/10/16/actualidad/1508144294_037334.html

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-10-11/basques-are-said-to-work-back-channel-between-catalans-and-spain

Wikipedia:
Bloomberg News is an international news agency headquartered in New York, United States and a division of Bloomberg L.P.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4959952/Spain-supporters-fascist-salutes-independence-demo.html

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/mar/12/spain-security-law-protesters-freedom-expression

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-41646142
Two Catalan separatists in Spanish custody

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/oct/17/madrid-jails-catalan-separatist-leaders-jordi-cuixart-and-jordi-sanchez-pending-investigation

Posted in animal rights, borders, create life, dreamers, fictional story, poems by vonnely, politics, reading, rebellious lovers, roots, threatened, web papers, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ride the river in this boat

(Sometimes I’m all mixed up, tottered between longing love and resentment, Paradise in Hell.) Woke up this morning realizing I have opened a line, giving a tool through which he can continue to treat me with his old habitual manner – taking position in an obscure and numb silence, power man and not a lover man. The mystery, people become loved who not have the skill and the will to put love at work. And then it’s the own vulnerable heart on one side and on the other side the deeds of a tone-deaf lover – and you’re forced to take a stand against what you want and desire. So then! I woke up this morning realizing I have opened a backdoor and a free ride for repression – if he want to. (Deep down fooled by the vain hope he would wake up one morning and be the one I wanted him to be.) But giving it a second thought, I concluded: he can do or not do whatever he like, it’s not my table anymore. I’ll be fine. Riding the river in this boat.

 

 

 

Posted in borders, dreamers, inspiring music, loneliness, loss, love poem, maturity, obstacles, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, prose poem, sadness, secret love, walk of life, walls, with or without you, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I never told you goodbye

 
To cut you off was easy and actually an act of
self-defense, I don’t expect you to understand.
But now I discover I’ve cut off a part of myself.
And sometimes during my days it hurts in my
absent body part. I fill me up with words when
it hurts too much and try to stay brave, but it is
not easy. You know my darling Angelo, I never
told you goodbye because between you and me
there is no such as farewell, only blue longing.
The days gets shorter and the nights dark and
I am like a packet of fish in a freezer dreaming
about the ocean. But your kisses are still warm.

 

 

 

Posted in armed loneliness, Autumn poem, darkness, dreamers, loneliness, loss, love poem, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Said within parentheses

 

 

 

 

 

 

If there were a road back to me,
would you choose that road then,
would you? Do you miss me like
I miss you, do you?

(Poor me, loving you so stupidly much.)

I don’t want you to suffer, I really
don’t. But it would make me happy
to know you love and miss me too.
(Do you?)

(I know you do, you poor stupid man.)
(And poor me, loving you so stupidly much.)

What was it all about then? A waste
of time – a misconduct of hearts?
There was love but no understanding?
(But still!)

(Poor me, loving you so stupidly much.)

(I ask my empty walls, would he come
to me if only he could? Knowing how
much I miss him!) (I know he knows!)

(Poor me, loving him so stupidly much.)

 

Posted in Autumn poem, loneliness, loss, love story, obstacles, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, repression and borders, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

He was twenty and I was eighteen

He was twenty and I was eighteen
and he drove a truck on free time
to make some money and sometimes
when he went for long drives over a
weekend I was there with him in the cab.
For him it was nothing but hard work and
stress, but I loved it as an adventure and I
fancy the soily and oily smell from his dirty
and tired body when we stayed on a dark
parking to sleep on the very narrow bunk
back the seats of the cab. Once the police
stopped the truck in search for a missing
teen girl in my age. A little shadow of worry
touched my mind as they let my boyfriend
drive on just because he locked trustworthy.
But I dropped it as I too thought he was all
good and it was all okay. Once we stopped
to eat at a fancy restaurant and we were
treated as celebrities in spite we looked like
bums in our worn out and wrinkled clothes.
I have never forgot that meal as it was like a
dream in heaven. We had French fries perfect
done and entrecote with parsley butter and
for dessert we got figs served with whipped
cream flavored with brandy and sprinkled with
flaked butterscotch. At that moment I began
to wonder a little why the waiters were so nice
to us, but I found no reason other than we were
the only guests and so very young and pretty
and sober and still so very romantically in love
with each other. I dropped that wonder too. I
became a vegetarian a couple of years after we
had split up, but I still remember that meal in
late night as the most tasty and dreamlike meal
I have ever had. It’s now fifty years since I was
on the road in magic nights with a man like that
and I am no longer young and beautiful. But a
heart that loves never gets older than eighteen.

 

 

Mostly but not for this post, I write a poem first and choose next music and images to illustrate the text on the blog. But between my writing I listen to music and when I find a song I like, I google the lyric to read it. It’s for my joy and also for training my English and writing skills. But reading the lyric to this song I couldn’t understand a thing what is was about. So, more googling was required to get an understanding the text actually was about a trucker’s dream of love. It was a bit embarrassing for me my understanding in native English  and simple lyrics is so limited, given that I always write in English.

But anyhow, it all raised memories from my youth – I remembered trips with my first boyfriend who worked a time as a truck driver. Maybe the visit at the more exclusive and expensive restaurant was a way for my boyfriend to compensate me from a visit at a driver diner – the food was terrible and the men stared rude at me like I was a piece of meat. Disgusting and scary!

On another trip we came with our big truck to the little town Ystad (known as the town in Henning Mankell’s crime novels about Police Inspector Wallander). My boyfriend drove wrong and became stuck on the narrow streets. The front of the truck was at one street and in an angle the back was on another street. In a steep uphill! And the big truck was loaded with tons of soda bottles like Coca-Cola and Sprite. My boyfriend rushed the engine (whatever a native would say?) in a desperate try to back the truck. But we were stuck. It was about 3 or 4 AM Sunday morning and we could blushing see one after the other window lit by awakened people starring wildly at us. In a truck cab you sit high, but all we wanted was to sink low and die of shame. But my boyfriend kept his hot temper low and I kept my mouth shut and somehow we succeeded to get away from the trap. I don’t know how, but we did.

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To talk too much – or not talk at all?

Spain’s prime minister Mariano Rajoy

Catalonian President Carles Puigdemont

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We have in our world today a big mouthed leader who is an idiot… After having him as a pain in ass for the last year or more – his last words become like “okay…” (sigh) 😦 – as we don’t expect common sense from that direction anymore, but will cope with that stress by  take another spoon of that nasty tasting liquid against heartburn before bedtime, bravely hoping the world still will be there next day. Well, what else can you do?

Meanwhile the president in the White House man meet the critics from his foreign minister with a challenge to compare IQ tests, the Deputy Prime Minister Soraya Sáenz de Santamaria mock the president of Catalonia with saying
“The speech the president… gave today is that of a person who does not know where he is, where he’s going, nor who he wants to go there with.”

Source:
Madrid scorns Catalan leader’s independence statement
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-41576870

I would give that statement too a very low rank as a statement of intelligence. It’s stupid and arrogant and rude. It’s seems to me to be a statement by a nowadays leader standing ahead the teared wall from old Franco times.

With their negative attitudes the Spanish government risk their country to carry away to a civil war. Catalonia may have no “right” to negotiations, but for the own good Madrid should accept it, as “it” won’t go away. What will they otherwise do, take Puigdemont by the ear and send him to early bed without no night reading of a fairytale and no evening snack?

I don’t doubt the intelligence of world leaders. (Oh yes, I do!) I guess if testing they would get higher score than I would get. (Well… maybe not!) But intelligence is not about scores, it’s about how you use the intelligence you have to the benefit of those people you have power over.

Spain’s prime minister Mariano Rajoy

The Spanish government seems like authoritarian parents from the Freud’s century, carrying Franco’s whip in their back pockets – they are certainly out of time and on a (Re-) joyride that will lead to their own disaster. They don’t understand Catalonia leaders working for independence gladly would go to jail for what they believe in – if it would go that far. And such opponents you should be very careful to challenge. You can destroy an individual’s life, but never his or her cause.

For an outsiders’ point of view on this (internal) crisis, the Spanish Ministers in Madrid seems to act like they don’t know where they are, where they going and with whom they want to go wherever they go.

At least the Spanish government realize and admit they have a political crisis. But is it a crisis for the Spanish government or for Spain?

Catalonian President Carles Puigdemont

Rajoy threatens all the time with paragraph 155 but asks then “What do you want?” I don’t experience Puigdemont’s speech as confusing as reported to be in media: he simply said “we want independence but we don’t want any repression acts about it from you, so let’s talk.”

But Rajoy cannot talk about it.

(He’s like my Romeo. 😦 You stubborn donkey!)

 

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Hurry my love, hurry to love…

Birgitta Ulfsson, actor and theater director, died last Sunday October 8, 2017. She became 89 years old. (Born 1928). I didn’t know Birgitta Ulfsson personally, but I became sad to read that she had passed away as if she had been a friend. Her voice has been so strong and lively in me over the years because she was a reader of Tove Jansson’s books about the Moomin trolls. Strange, but it actually feels like someone connected to my childhood has died.

But I actually met her voice – and the Moomins – first through my son’s early interest for fantasy literature, it’s about 25 years back in time. The books about the Moomin family actually became his ticket into the fantasy literature. But I never got an interest in the fantasy genre, so I’ve stayed with Janson’s books about the Moomin family as fascinating fairy tales for both adults and children – and actually as psychological textbooks for greater self-awareness.

We listened both to cassettes and read the books in afternoons and evenings during my son’s childhood, the years before his teens. After he became an adult and left home, we have both independent of each other during the years sometimes reread any or another of the Moomin books.

A well-known follower through all years has also Birgitta Ulfsson’s recording of Tove Jansson’s ballad “Höstvisa” become. Of course very many other artists have performed this ballad. But it’s her version and voice that is planted in my soul. And now it’s gone. 😦

The lyric is written by Tove Jansson (1914 – 2001) and the music by the composer and pianist Erna Tauro (1915 – 1993. All three of them, Ulfsson, Jansson and Tauro were Finland-Swedes. For those unfamiliar with Scandinavian culture, I can tell that it means that they belonged to a linguistic minority in Finland with Swedish as their mother tongue.

Finnish as nationality but writing and speaking with a distinctly singing and highly articulated Swedish, this minority has had an overwhelming significance for Swedish cultural life and enriched it so much that it cannot enough be appreciated. It counts for composer, singers, actors as well as writers. Among many other strong personalities you can for example find the early modernist poet Edit Södergran (1892 – 1923).

The ballad about autumn was written and composed in 1965. Throughout all years I have experienced it as a romantic song, but not as a sad one. Now, after the message of Birgitta Ulfsson’s death, the song sudden feels so sad to me – and it feels like the song is more about the autumn time in human life than the season autumn. Life is so short and have an end, so hurry to love before it’s late – the song urges you!

The composer Erna Tauro once got the question of how to sing this ballad. She told: “Absolutely not melancholy! Neither Tove nor me are melancholic”. Yet and I’m sorry Erna, right now I’m melancholic… in a good way. 🙂

The ballad is written with the rhyme scheme ABAB CDCD EFEF GHGH IJIJ KLKL

I have worked hard with to make a translation with rhymes. But I’m not happy with what I accomplished so I’ve decided to make a translation with focus instead of the number of syllables in the every line. But I must tell I can’t neither sing nor play so I really don’t know if I get it right when working with lyrics to music. But I’m keen on a translation must follows the original carefully and that you only can change the words to overcome language differences. Everything else is really not translations but simply new poems inspired by the theme of the original. And I hate that. (There is nothing that can upset me more than to read translations of Swedish poems or lyrics into English! To see a poem become garbled make me actually more upset than to read Donald Trump himself saying something new nonsense on those media he calls “fake news”.)

Erna Tauro

Höstvisa Autumn ballad

The way home was very long and I didn’t meet anyone,
now the evenings gets chilly and short.
Come and comfort me a little, for I’m pretty tired now,
and suddenly so terrible alone.
I never noticed before that the darkness is so big,
walking around thinking of all what one should.
There are so many things I should had said and done,
and it was so very little I did.

Hurry my love, hurry to love,
The days darkens minute by minute.
Light our candles, it’s close to the night,
Soon the flowering summer is over.

I’m looking for something that we might have forgotten
and that you could help me to find.
A summer passes by, it is always as short,
It is the dream of what one could win.
Perhaps you come sometime before the dusk turns blue
before the meadows are dry and empty.
Perhaps we find each other, perhaps we’ll then
find a way to get everything to flower.

Hurry my love, hurry to love…

Now blows a storm out there and close the summer door
It’s too late for wondering and searching.
Maybe I love lesser than I did before
but more than you will ever get to know.
Now we see all lighthouses round the long autumn coast
and hear the waves wandering wildly.
The only thing important is the heart’s desire
and to be together with each other.

Hurry my love, hurry to love…

 

And so me trying to rhyme… 😦

 

The way home was very long and no one did I meet,
now the evenings gets chilly and late.
I’m tired in need of some comfort and a seat
sudden feeling in such a lonely state,
I didn’t noticed before how dark the darkness can be,
now I’m think a lot of all the things I should do ,
and all the things I should have said and done to thee
and how little I actually came to do.

Hurry my love, hurry to love,
the days passes faster than my song.
Light our candles, it’s close to the night,
Soon the flowering summer is gone.

I lock for what we might have overseen
and what you may can help me to explore.
A summer runs away too quick, always so keen
as it is the dream of all what could have been.
Maybe you’ll come before the dusk turns blue
and before the meadows dries and pale
Maybe we find a way back together that’s true
and get everything to flourish like in a fairy tale

Hurry my love, hurry to love…

Now a storm blows out there closing the summer door.
It’s too late to wonder and ponder and although
I may love lesser than I did before,
I still love more than you’ll ever know.
Now we see all lighthouses at the coast of fall
and hear the waves wildly wandering and roar.
Only one thing is important, it’s what the heart call
and be together as ever before

Hurry my love, hurry to love …

Tove Jansson and her life partner Tuulikki Pietilä

 

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It never happened

 

 

 

 

The very power of how you never
happened to me will never go away
but stay. You never touched my body,
but you shook my soul. You aroused in
me such a fire and now you’re my only
desire. Where is the key to get free?

One day I will travel to your city, I wish.
But don’t get scared of the shadows on
your streets when you walk home late
at night, it’s just me hiding in the dark
to see your dear face and smile lit by
the streetlight. But you know – it’s
only dreams, it all.

 

 

 

 

Själva kraften i hur du aldrig hände mig
kommer aldrig att försvinna men stanna
kvar. Du rörde aldrig vid min kropp men
skakade om min själ. Du väckte i mig ett
sådant begär att du nu är den ende som
jag har kär. Hur ska jag bli fri?

En dag önskar jag resa till din stad. Men
bli inte rädd för skuggorna på dina gator
när du vandrar hemåt i sena nätter. Det
är bara jag som gömmer mig i mörkret
för att se ditt kära ansikte och leende
upplyst av gatans ljus. Men du vet –
det är bara drömmar, alltsammans.

 

 

 

 

The title to this poem came first,  inspired by Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy Brey, who said on TV October 1, “I can tell you very clearly: Today a self-determination referendum in Catalonia didn’t happen”. This statement made such an impression on me – which in extension led to this poem angled to a theme that’s my own.

Posted in dreamers, loss, love poem, love story, morality, poem in English and Swedish, poem in Swedish and English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, secret love, walk of life, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I lost him a Thursday in October

I lost him a Thursday in October.
It was a chilly but sunny day and
I had just went to bed for a nap.
It was at 17.39 to be precise and
3600 km away he looked up and
met a pair of eyes with no lies but
promises and they were not mine.
From this second I was no longer
someone special but no one. And
tears wanted my eyes, but I told
myself to let it be. As the sun still
shone and I was still gone and I
had no case. It was just another
day. But right or wrong I felt sad,
so close as we once were. October
glow will go, everyone know and
November next with its low gloom.
Thereafter unknown. (All he never
wanted to do for me, I remember!)
I must be sensible.

 

 

 

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In the dark night I stand here and see the light in your windows…

I have no  authorization for the translation below, therefore it can’t be copied and spread, but stay on this blog only. Thank you!

Karin Boye, Swedish poet living 1900 – 1941

Karin Boye Swedish poet living 1900 – 1941

Dedication, poem number 14 from a poetry collection 1927 called Härdarna

I want to stand on this street even I’m cold,
to see the light in two gable panes unfold,
the one who lives there is to me very dear
I feel sick in my heart when it’s lit there.

I want to slowly turn around at the corner,
and perhaps a glimpse of her will occur.
Imagine, you are so close! Why am I here?
I feel sick in my heart when it’s lit there.

 

Tillägnan från samlingen Härdarna 1927
14

Jag vill gärna stå på gatan här och frysa
för att se två fönster på en gavel lysa.
Den som bor där inne är mig mycket kär.
Jag blir sjuk i hjärtat, när det lyser där.

Jag vill gå till hörnet, jag vill långsamt vända,
så att jag får se dig skymta fram kanhända.
Att du är så nära… Varför står jag här?
Jag blir sjuk i hjärtat, när det lyser där.

 

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To be Beyoncé…

To be Beyoncé,
a miracle it would be!
Be so to say
her
and wake up in
bright morning light,
with her perfect thighs,
like a goddess alike,
sexuality for sale. But
if her thighs were mine,
but they couldn’t hold
thee? Then to be
Beyoncé may not be all
to be! My thighs don’t cry
for perfection, they cry for
thee! To have and to hold,
to get that I would easily
give you a ring of gold.

 

 

 

 

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And whenever I think of you

And whenever I think of you
I get the instant urge to hold
you close and touch you so
tenderly but all we did was
arguing driving us apart but
when I think of you and it’s
about hundred times a day
I just want to be close to you.

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We live here apart

We live here apart and caught in the prejudices of our
societies and minds like flies in a spider web. But I know
that in another planetary system in a parallel reality we
live happily and sleep together every night, fitting like
a hand in glove. And I miss you…

But to live the love was not easy

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To live the love was not easy

I could consider to marry you
(if you still want it, of course)

if you

never more slaughter animals
never more say “I hate Jews”
never more say “homosexuality is disgusting”
never more abuse me with silences for weeks
never more being passive aggressive commenting

if you
stop to be so oversensitive and self-centered

if you
become a vegetarian like I am

Yes, I have come to realize “love” is not all what it takes.
Unconditional love is what only little babies needs.
Grown can’t expect it.

We live here apart and caught in the prejudices of our
societies and minds like flies in a spider web. But I know
that in another planetary system in a parallel reality we
live happily and sleep together every night, fitting like
a hand in glove. And I miss you…

But to live the love was not easy

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Catalonia, October 1, 2017 (2)

I can’t take a stand on this referendum matter, I know too little about the Spanish reality. But riot police, really! It’s just too much! The Spanish government has shot themselves in the foot!

 

 

 

Gallo Rojo, Gallo Negro is a Spanish song written by José Antonio Sanchez Ferlosio (also known as Chicho) (b 1940 – d 2003),Gallo Rojo, Gallo Negro (Red rooster Black rooster) is an anti-Franco song. It is well known in Sweden as it was translated to Swedish already in 1968 by the socialist poet and journalist Jacob Branting. The Swedish version has become a well-known song often performed by troubadours, it’s like a folk song of our own.

 

 

 

There is an English translation to read on:
http://lyricstranslate.com/en/gallo-rojo-gallo-negro-red-rooster-black-rooster.html

 

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Catalonia October 1, 2017

I think the picture speaks  for itself.

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October and I miss you

September leaving and October coming and
autumn glow. Rain and clouds holds back and
the nature is bright. But we travels on different
roads now. Yet I wonder how you’re doing and
what you think about. Do you still think of me?
And me? Well, I can’t get you out of my mind,
even I try hard and even though I was the one
leaving the us. In nightly dreams you haunt me
to waking bad and upset. I miss you, I truly do.

Posted in Autumn poem, loneliness, loss, love poem, love story, nature, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

And the good men take their spaces…

This morning, me and my coffee and eyes on web newspapers: and “the good boys” take the spaces, seemingly unaware of what they do – and “the girls” let them!  

(But better believe me: every woman born knows!)

Yeah, that was what I said, guys!
Watch up! I see ya…

 

That’s better boys, keep it together!

(…at the Invictus Games in Toronto 2017. pics from different web papers, BBC and others)

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Do you remember me?

minns du mig?
har du också dagar
då du bara hatar mig
och dagar då blå längtan
blommar ömt och kärleksfullt?

Do you remember me, she writes.
Do you have – like me – days when
all is pain and you simply hate me?
Do you have – like me – other days
when a blue longing flourishing so
tenderly and loving in your heart?

Do you still love me, she asks me!

You’re living with chronic longing
and you wake up in a pitch black
autumn night, it all because your
yearning body betrays you – again
and again…

40 years ago she might looked
like an everybody’s sex goddess,
now she’s only your goddess and
all you want is to put your hands
under her skirt, make her shiver
and groan and explode inside her

Do you remember me? She asks!

Posted in armed loneliness, Attraction, Autumn poem, become old, body image, borders, can you kiss a woman, create life, dreamers, loss, love poem, love story, past, poem in Swedish and English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, repression and borders, sadness, secret love, sexuality, with or without you, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sologamy: to marry yourself

If you – after all your years of looking and dreaming and failing – haven’t found your soulmate, you can decide to be happy living with yourself. I read today about Laura Mesi in Italy who decided to marry herself and celebrate it with ceremony, white dress and guests and it all…Laura is the first woman in Italy to marry herself, so I read. But not the first in the world: it’s a new trend.

I admire her courage, really… 🙂 But would I do the same? Never, never, never. Such would never  cross my mind… 😦

http://milano.repubblica.it/cronaca/2017/09/21/news/lissone_monza_mi_sposo_da_sola_prima_sposa_single_d_italia_laura_mesi-176113148/

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-41413297

htthttps://www.thesun.co.uk/living/2912505/sologamy-marrying-yourself/

(But seems the roses on her wedding cake be black?) Well. she look happy and that’s all what matters.

 

 

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Life is what happens in the background

life is what happens in the background
a wagtail chirping outside your window
and you don’t know it’s my lonely soul
words are written on its wings, tales
of lovers like you and me, forever
apart from each other, but you
ignore it, busy with your
morning chores, now
as always before

Livet är vad som händer i bakgrunden
En sädesärla tjattrar utanför ditt fönster
Du vet inte att det är min ensamma själ
Ord är skrivna på dess vingar, sägner
om kärlekspar sådana som du och jag
för evigt skilda från varandra, men du
ignorerar det upptagen i din morgons
alldagliga sysslor, nu som alltid förr.

 

 

 

 

 the poem is inspired of a Youtube video with a chirping wagtail outside someone’s window, the line “life is what happens in the background” was added after as the line came to my mind when I rewatched this cover of Cabrel’s song

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Lemon love

 

The same selfish man you have rejected, he doesn’t miss you
at all. No, he just checkup you now and then, wondering if
you say something blameful about him to others. His selfish
pride cannot bear that thought. He liked so much the image
of himself as a lover, but he simply love only himself. He
doesn’t care about you at all. It’s just rough reality. When
two friends becomes lovers as you two did, it never goes
well. When two people fall in love and want to build a true
relationship, they have then to build a friendship and that’s
the only order for lovers. But an egocentric man can’t create
mutual friendship bonding. So then you get to know him, if
not before! I loved a nice looking lemon man and it was sour
to bite the truth. All I ever wanted was to find a dream-lover
but all I do is keep on dreaming alone.

 

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I miss you (det regnar)

I miss you
It’s raining

I miss you
It’s raining

I miss you
It’s raining

I miss you
It’s raining

I miss you
It’s raining

I’m not crying
I’m very calm
I did what was right
I just have to teach myself
to think “him” and not “you”,
There’s no “you” anymore

Sometimes you make the right decision
how you want to live life but you are not
happy about it because it’s as “fun” as to
take a laxative after fourteen days of
constipation: you are relieved, yes!
But fuck no, you’re not happy!

But why do some men choose
to be such assholes to women?

 

 

 

Höstmornar

jag saknar dig
och det regnar
och regnar

jag saknar dig
och det regnar
och regnar

jag saknar dig
och det regnar
och regnar

jag saknar dig
och det regnar
och regnar

jag saknar dig
och det regnar
och regnar

Jag gråter inte
Jag är väldigt lugn
Jag gjorde vad som var rätt
Jag måste bara lära mig att
tänka “honom” och inte “du”
”Du” finns inte längre i mitt liv

ibland fattar man det rätta beslutet
hur man vill leva sitt liv och man är
inte glad, därför att det är lika “kul”
som ett lavemang efter två veckors
förstoppning: du är lättad, ja! Men
du är förbanne mig inte glad!

Men varför väljer en del karlar att
vara sådana arslen mot kvinnor?

 

 

 

 

 

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In September it’s far to next summer

In September it’s very far to next summer.
What’s written in the book that I then will
be reading? And what will I think of when
I look up on the blue summer sky a sunny
day? Will I still miss you? And you me? In
September everything’s leaving, nothing’s
coming. But “next summer” is just a hope!

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Log September 2017 The world is politics

I read on a Swedish website today that Spain takes over the Catalan police force in order to prevent the referendum the first of October. I’m not briefed about the relation between Catalonia and Spain to have an opinion about this conflict. But anyone can question the way Spain government acts. It’s unwise – and to say it straight out: it’s stupidity.

Once upon a time Sweden and Norway was one country (well, so I believed) with a certain autonomy for Norway. But one day the Norwegian government decided they wanted to be free from Sweden and told the Swedes. The Swedish king got an outburst and screamed “war”. But the Swedish government said “No”. The king insisted and the government said “we can’t afford it and it’s too much fuss, go home to your old castle and be what you should be, a staffage figure and shut up”. And since then 1905 Norway is an autonomous state.

Well, this story I believed in is not true I’ve have found, now checking it. Norway was in union with Sweden, never “belonging” to “us”. They ruled their own affairs except for foreign policy and had the same king as Sweden. And the liberation from Sweden was a bit more complicated than in the tale in my mind.

But it may be since then some Swedes seems to think it’s very funny to make jokes about Norwegians and all jokes comes out to be that Norwegians are silly and stupid fools. They are some you laugh at.

I don’t think the Norwegians cares about what stupid Swedes think about them. But their national day is a big and colorful carnival festival. So this union thing must have been uncomfortable for them. Sweden got a national day at first 1983. I certainly not celebrate such a day. Egocentrism and nationalism are quite embarrassing for modest Swedes.

So… since 1905 Norway has its own king and foreign politics. But as the Norwegians once gave Nobel Peace Prize to Burma’s civilian leader Aung San Suu Kyi, you maybe can make a little question mark over their acts in the foreign business? Or what?

There is a whole list of leaders now at the time that put you on a risk you to fall into anxiety and despair, for example:
San Suu Kyi
Robert Mugabe
Recep Tayyip Erdogan
Donald Trump
Kim Jong-Un
Vladimir Putin

and (and you can fill in more …)

So it is then… Catalonian prepare for election now the first of October. I hope they succeed to make it. If the Spanish government had stayed calm, it had been a chance the Catalans had voted for stay in Spain. Now is a “no” a likely outcome!

Tomorrow is the election in Germany. Angela Merkel appears as a counter pole in world of leaders of mad men. She (her party) is expected to win the election. If she is the best for Germany – I don’t know. But no doubt she is the best for Europe. We need her desperately, emotionally for what she stands for, giving hope to common man – and objectively for what she actually can provide as a as a representative power factor for Europe.

It is sad to experience that a good person like her gets so mocked by some. She is a true Jeanne d’Arc character, though I probably would not share her internal political and religious standpoints.

Germany has the lowest unemployment figures in Europe, just over 3%. But if you consider German women are expected to work part-time or stay at home full time after marriage and having children, this figure will give you a different meaning.

For Sweden the figure is 6,7% . Yet, this too is depending how you count. Some people are included in labor programs. And for migrants in Sweden is the figure over unemployment a bit over 20 – 22 %.

The German haters have of course a party too. AFD. (In English: Alternative For Germany.) They hate migrants primary. “Of course”! One reason they claim for to be against migrants is the increase in the number of sex crimes, especially rapes.

According to Sweden’s TV website, the number of rape in Bavaria has increased by 50%. And 18% of the crimes are committed by men with foreign background.
https://www.svt.se/nyheter/utrikes/fragor-om-sexualbrott-praglar-valspurten-i-tyskland

But think about it: if you get raped – do you really think the nationality of the dick matters?

My son told me today about another German party named “The party”  – and it has actually a chance to come over the barrier of 5% of the votes! Even if this party idea is simply a satire of politics.

I would not vote for them. But I think the same about the Swedish politicians.What they say when I watch them on the TV news is just blah blah blah blah …

 

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Love cannot cure stupidity

 

 

 

 

I’ve finally canceled his awful
silences out of my life. When
my hesitation was gone and it
was done I felt a great relief!

If he could ask me if I still miss
him, my answer would be “yes”.
If he could ask me if I still love
him, my answer would be “yes”.

If he would like to ask if we can
be together again, the answer
would be a very clear “no”.

But why wasn’t he good to me?
Oh, but he is such a stupid man
and love cannot cure stupidity!

John Bauer, Prins i Månland

 

 

 

 

 

 

original record by Spider and Amanda Blue Leigh 1981

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A rainy day in Sweden

the prettiest cat in Sweden (she’s mine)

I can’t find high quality cat food nearby I live, so I must go for an hour’s bus tour to and fro to a shopping mall outside town. And so I did Wednesday September 20th. I hate it and this day even more as it was very chilly and heavy rain and my feet caused me great pain as they always do nowadays. But I began the day by listening to one of my many favorite songs. And I ended the day by write my own lyrics to it. The song is “A rainy day in Georgia”, the original written by Tony Jo White in 1967.

 

 

Covered by my jacket hood
I tried and did what I could
and I lost the fight
A heavy rain is falling,
I hear your Frenchy calling:
“It’s all right”

A rainy day in Sweden
A rainy day in Sweden
It seems as it’s raining all over the world
I feel like it’s raining all over the world

And I feel like an old rag,
when I limp with my plastic bag
to the bus stop
my blood sugar sway low,
I share a bun with a daw
I hate to shop

It’s a rainy day in Sweden
Such a rainy day in Sweden
It seem as it’s raining all over the world
I feel like it’s raining all over the world

(quote:)
“How many times I’ve wondered
It all comes out the same
No matter how
you look at it, think of it
You just got to do your own thing”

I come home and make my dinner,
and I know I’m not a winner
still I can write
in my late nights about “bon amour”,
an old aunt behind her locked door

In my rainy nights in Sweden
In the rainy nights in Sweden
I feel like it’s raining all over the world
I believe it’s raining all over the world

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Autumn poem, become old, inspiring music, living with chronic diseases, loneliness, loss, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, secret love, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Not the good one

 

 

I felt struck by you and
I honestly thought I had in you
found the man for me, to miss
you was pain, but the hard thing
has been to accept you are not
identical with the nice image
I had made of you, you’re
not the good one

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Nostalgia (2) (Love hurts)

And this is what we accomplished:
hurted hearts! As you hurt me and
I hurt you, yet no harm meant: gore!
“You’re the victim of your crime”!

 

 

 

Francis Cabrel – Si tu la croises un jour – If you meet her one day
English translation:
http://lyricstranslate.com/en/si-tu-la-croises-un-jour-if-you-meet-her-one-day.html

 “You’re the victim of your crime” – it’s a quote from Queen “Too much love will kill you”.

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The Fox (Nostalgia)

 

In evenings, just when the first darkness falls and humans not sleep yet and he’s just began his nightly round, since his growling intestines forces him out from one of his temporary hiding places, he becomes standing for a moment behind a branch of a fir’s skirt and enquiring stare across the plain to the house at the small hill where windows are lit – and sudden another hunger and a dim memory tear him up and a longing comes over him of what was his once on a borrowed time, as once as a puppy he was saved by those two-legs strangers when his mother was shot dead and he became raised and cuddled with like a pet until he’d grown and it was time for him to go back to his solitary and wild destiny, hunt and be hunted, kill and be killed. Killed for his righteous purpose to feed himself, killed unrighteous for his beautiful red fur, hated for being him and admired and envied for  being him, it all beyond his ability to comprehend. Sometimes at such instants it comes over him a longing for the tame life, the ready-served meat bone life, but only for a very short worrying moment. Then is heard the scream from a vixen in the forest behind him and he instantly turn around and slip away, following his instinct and instantly forgetting that feeling not belonging to the species that’s his.

 

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I drink my coffee in my silent room

I drink my coffee in my silent room, contemplating
whether there’s any way I could make my life look
good enough to me? But must it be that good? This
silence is quite relaxing. My coffee taste good. My
cute cat sleeps calm and safe in an armchair. Sure,
I’m lonely and bored but I have peace. I can fairly
tell myself “I’m doing well”. But a life companion is
good and I don’t like to live alone. But was it love,
him and me? He could not bear to hear my question
and he vanished into his well-known silences, those
loaded ones. What to do? He assured me he cared
about me. One day he may understand caring is not
a sentimental feeling but deeds! And one day maybe
I’m lucky enough to have forgotten him and melt how the nice image I had made of him totally crashed. For now, I drink my coffee in peace and tomorrow will be another day and another time.

 

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Love gives depth and color to life

Photo Thomas Lepori Onceafewmonths

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love gives depth and color to life.
Without love, life becomes grayish,
dull and pale and two-dimensional
like a yesterday’s newspaper page,
tattered full with house flies poop,
it’s just nonsense script. I thought
he was real and the love he wrote
about to me was true, but he was
just fake news. Oh, I’m doing well
even if  mornings now are dreary.
I follow my daily routines but with
no joy until it’s evening again. And
then I go to bed still covered in his
long black coat. But I don’t dream
about him more. If I could dream,
what would I dream about? Oh, I
know! I need colors, I need depth
in my life. I need romance.

 

 

 

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Forever you and me

 

Forever you and me, he said.
And it will be a shortening for
forever goodbye, you and me.

Alltid du och jag, sa han.
Det blir en förkortning för
för alltid farväl du och jag

 

 

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Climbs the mountains (aging, part 1)

 

Log for Tuesday September 12. I have a time  been thinking about write some blog posts about age and aging  – and maybe also about age discrimination. The latter, age discrimination, and myself now being an elderly person is of course the underlying trigger for my interest in writing on this subject. I had some material “leftovers” from earlier research for my blog writing  – and I know my thoughts about the subject goes. My problem has been to edit my thoughts. Where to start? How to sort the topics? And how to write so it becomes interesting for a reader? Well, you start where you stand and open your mouth to say what the heart needs to talk about.

 

This is my foot. It is a nice foot. It doesn’t look old. Unfortunately  this nice looking foot can’t perform its footwork. Both my feet cause  me so much pain I hardly can rely on them for walking. Every day is like climbing the mountains.

 

This is my partial denture. It’s my 3 front teeth. I suffer from parodontosis since about 20 years back. Before I got the denture in 2011 I didn’t smile much. It was a horror only to go shopping groceries. Once a child asked me if I was a witch.  When I got the denture I got life back.  I dared to talk and smile again and shortly after I got involved in a romance with a much younger man. It ended of course, but still! It was amazing.

I start my day with taking an insulin shot as having diabetes type 2. Half an hour later I eat a plate with naturell yoghurt, nothing added. Then I sit down at my laptop with coffee and a cheese sandwich, glancing the web news. When I write “glancing”, I mean literally glancing – I’m pretty lazy. All eyes on the world, yet laid back…

Anshu Jamsenpa: The first woman to climb Mount Everest twice in 5 days

Until I read CCN and a big article about an Indian woman climbing Mount Everest, not once but thice in 5 days. This article made me a bit upset really. Because on this earth, life is so difficult for the most women wherever they live, so every single day is like climbing Mount Everest, twice! All honor to this woman and all the training she made for her success. But really, she is not someone to be inspired by or look up to as a role model. Especially not for us women over the 60 with bad feet, bad teeth, bad hips, being too fat or too fragile – and having a very slim wallet.

My morning reading almost made me come too late to my time at the dental hygienist this day 12.10 PM. My pension hardly cover this kind of treatment. But I have still since 2011 have been in regular treatment two times a year and it is hard for me to pay for it . And my real guarantee for surviving is not the state “guarantee pension”, but my son helping me out. It becomes more and more common nowadays the adult children must support their aged parents.

Yes, Sweden brag about it’s welfare system, but in Sweden, like in the rest of west world, the gap between the poor and the rich becomes more profound. There are wealthy people who can afford to have a living in Sweden and still live cheaply but exclusively  in Spain and Portugal. And there are ordinary old people who even need help getting food from the city mission. And dentistry is a class issue. In Sweden as well as in the United States.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/why-so-few-seniors-see-the-dentist/

When I came out from the treatment room to pay for my visit a receptionist came running from the staff room for me. She passed in the corridor an old and fragile little auntie with a stick in each of her hand. The old woman took the two stick in one hand and stretched begging out a trembling hand, saying to the passing receptionist “please help me, I’m visually impaired and need someone to call a taxicab for me”. But the receptionist walked by her, saying unfriendly and harsh over her shoulder “can’t you wait to people are back from their lunch?”

Why she could enter the reception to allow me to pay for my treatment, I don’t know. But I was shocked over her way towards the old woman. The old woman seemed not note the unfriendly response she had received. But she slowly fumble the few meters to the counter and find it and held herself upright  besides me with two – three trembling fingers. It was heartbreaking… She was so small so her nose was about in level with the top edge of the counter.

She looked  fragile and I was very worried for her. She asked again the receptionist woman to call for a taxi. But the receptionist ignored her completely, giving her time to me.

I can’t say this receptionist woman was more friendly to me. And when I asked for a memo for my coming visits, she repeated my request in an embarrassing manner:

“You want a memo for your next visits?”

“Yes”. You always get a paper with times for your coming visits, but this seemed to be news for this woman.

“You want to have a memo for your coming visits??”, she said again.

“Yes, thank you”.

“So you want a memo?”

“Yes, please”.

Of course I wondered what was was wrong with this unfriendly woman, who seemed to never waste time on a smile for the clients. But I was too busy with keep an eye on the old woman. She looked so weak and so vulnerable! Normally I don’t pay much attention to people around me, but I decided now I could not leave the dentist office without taking care of this poor and helpless woman.

When I had paid, the receptionist actually turned to the old woman.

“You”, she said. “Sit!” She pointed at a chair at the lower part of the counter. My heart jumped up in my throat, as I was thinking  – how could this coldblooded person expect a blind person to find a chair and sit down in it without falling beside it on the floor?

But instantly like a trained dog the old woman sat quite right down in the chair without any problems. To my surprise! Now the receptionist actually called for a cab, giving instructions in phone where and how to pick up the old woman. The auntie wanted to sit on a bench inside the front door down stairs and be picked up from there and so was ordered by the rough receptionist.

I stayed waiting and when the call was made I asked the old woman if she wanted me to help her downstairs to the bench.

“YES PLEASE”,  she smiled so relieved and happy.

We did not take the stairs as there was an elevator.

“I’m afraid for take the elevator”, she said.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go with you”, I said. “I’m not that happy either about using elevators”, I added.

It was just one floor down and the bench was close the elevator door – and she thanked me again, still looking so happy and relieved for my small favor.

I have copied the image from the web and it’s not me and the auntie in my story

In Sweden taxi agencies always ask for name and address. So I remembered it and checked her address on a local map. She lives about ten minutes walk from the dentist office – ten minutes even with my sore feet for walking. But no way she could have managed to walk the way on her own passing street lights and sidewalks in different directions. And I wondered how much she had to pay the taxi? On her small pension? No wonder old women must go to the citymission to get a meal for the day.

I’m 68 and I guess she was about 25 years older. So I felt very young when I left her and took my bike home. And I was thinking that  “old age” is such an overly indefinite determination for what is decades of aging and aging issues, from 65 to up to 90’s or even more.

 

I wrote initially the climbing people of Mount Everest is not much of role models for aged people. But I read another day on BBC website about boxing old ladies in South Africa who really are something to lock up too – I loved to read about this women, their courage and spirit really make me happy. I don’t think I will start boxing but if I do, I know what unpleasant staff woman I would like to punch down.

bbc.com/news/av/world-africa-41057049/i-m-75-and-i-love-boxing

 

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Hope of love in pouring rain

 

I had a hand for you, now
I have only a one-hand clap
on an empty sky, only the birds
to recognize and I bless the rain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Autumn poem, dreamers, love poem, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

In the essence of the night

There’s an old grief at the bottom of my
soul that never heal and goes away. When
the cold nights come and I have no one to
hold on to, ghosts chase me and makes me
feel worthless. My last love, he cared more
about himself and his own big feelings, but
he was still a comfort and I feel defenseless
without him. My bright days are hollow but
they will get better without him. But late in
night, I can suddenly wake up and discover
that a dark anxiety holds me in its claw. And
I am nothing and nothing is for me.

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I dream of walks in sunsets on a pristine beach

 

A young man close to me imagine us come together sitting on a beach talking. In the sunset or sunrise I assume. But I cannot imagine it as a reality to become.

Because we live far and we both lack money for travels, so hardly we’ll ever meet. Because if I were his countrywoman, it would not be possible for me as a woman to sit on the beach with a man without being arrested by the police. If I were his countrywoman, I would be the same age as he is. And I am not either. I am 68 years old and my issues are related to my stage in life.

My life hardly depends on love, but I admit true love makes life better and it make people nicer and more beautiful to be with. I write about it and that’s my calling – to write.

I have lived in the inland with forests, meadows and city streets my whole life. But in the next – and last – chapter of my life, I want see myself move to the coast, get a flat with a view over the sea – if possible. And have a pristine beach in reach and be able to walk on it in peace in my late evenings.

But this imagine is maybe not possible to become a reality?

Because the beaches are not clean – I really got the image in my mind of the romantic beach executed some days ago. As I came to read about Jenny, only 27 years old but a many years of beach cleaner.

I read about her on Swedish Television (SVT) website and Jenny tells the SVT:s reporter:

It already started at her very first travel abroad, at age 17 years. She had traveled to Crete for a vacation on a this beautiful island, but instead she went sad with what she came to see.

“I saw the grief in the eyes of the locals when they picked up garbage for the tourists on the beach in the evenings. I felt bad and didn’t want to go abroad again if this would be the way”, she told the reporter.

So for next time she was going to travel, she decided to do something about what she had witnessed. Now she has cleaned garbage around the world, including Indonesia, Thailand, Austria, Vietnam, Greece, Svalbard and the Norwegian and Swedish mountains.

Particular, she has cleaned on her own initiative, but she has also followed clean travels arranged by the authority in Svalbard. She tells her friends sometimes tease her and call her “garbage girl” but usually she gets positive reactions.

“It happens that people are peek at me and wonder what I’m doing. But to me it is certainly a matter to do what I can and trash doesn’t make me sad but rather motivated to work harder and bring more people to fight against garbage”.

My illusions shattered! No bare footed walks with a lovely and loving dog for a mature woman with a philosophical mind, like me, in sight! Yes,  I was so shocked reading about the reality of beaches and of losing my beach dream – I didn’t saw through this fictionalize story Jenny was telling the reporter.

 

Because she’s not that a unique single hero at all as the article gives the reader a vision of. Actually clean-the-beach is a popular movement around the world! I googled about cleaning beaches and find very quickly the website healthebay.org/ in the US.

No bare foot and tranquil looking-back walks at romantic sunset beaches then, but I can join a group of people and dissipate in clean the beaches and make them bare foot friendly! Because this movement exist in Europe too –  I found in my research similar volunteer work in UK:

https://www.wildlifetrusts.org/events/2017/09/15/great-british-beach-clean-0

 

Great British Beach Clean

It’s all over the world actually, those clean-the-beach groups – Europe, the US, Tunisia, Indonesia… yes, everywhere!

https://oceanconservancy.org/trash-free-seas/international-coastal-cleanup/

In Sweden it is (of course!) organized and institutionalized in the Sports Association and paid youth workers do it since 20 years back for environment cleanings. Boring!

Like Jenny, I’m too much of an individualist and can’t see myself in a group of volunteers, not even freely organized as Americans it could catch me. But a beach in sunset is not my only romantic inner image…

Know, we all have a lot of images hidden in our minds as without them we would be like living dead. But sometimes we have to take them out of the closet and get them aired. Some burst like trolls in daylight, some strengthens and new will come…

I have another romantic dream to dust off and that is to one day visit NYC . So I may change my focus from dreaming about pristine beaches for to this dream, the big city. (How I ever would afford such a travel over the ocean is a big and unsolved problem. Reality is such a problem. So harsh and brutal.)

We live small and dream big, secretly. Some dreams comes true and life becomes widening.

Sometimes it takes a bad man with no heart and no soul as the killer Vincent in the movie Collateral for to brutally tear apart our pink lingerie illusions. Bring them out in daylight! See if they are durable!

I love that movie and I love most the scene in the cab with the cabdriver Max and his passenger, the stressed prosecutor Annie. Something happens between them, that sparkle!, and it makes him show her his secret picture card. It’s an image of a Paradise Island. When the stress becomes too much, Max tell Annie, he take a minute off and look at this pic to relax and dream away. And in the end of the scene, he gives her the card. I think that is so sweet. And it’s such a tremendous counter-image to the actual plot that begins right after, when the contract killer Vincent enters the cab backseat after Annie left.

youtube.com/watch?v=gskZ5mFHdnI

 

Hands of Time – Groove Armada

Keep looking through the window pane
Just trying to see through the pouring rain
Its hearing your name, hearing your name

I really never felt quite the same
Since I’ve lost what I had to gain
No one to blame, no one to blame

Seems to me, can’t turn back the hands of time
Oh, it seems to me, can’t turn back the hands of time

Keep looking through the window pane
Just trying to see through the pouring rain
Its hearing your name, hearing your name

I really never felt quite the same
Since I’ve lost what I had to gain
No one to blame, no one to blame

Seems to me, can’t turn back the hands of time
Oh, it seems to me, can’t turn back the hands of time

Seems to me, can’t turn back the hands of time
Seems to me, yesterday was left behind

Songwriters
COCUP, ANDREW / FINDLAY, TOM / HAVENS, RICHIE

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Turkish “ambassadors” in Sweden, Cigdem Akyol

In English below, just scroll down 🙂

Turkiska ”ambassadörer” i Sverige

Jag har haft höga tankar om svensk journalism. Jag förlitat mig på korrektheten i svensk tv:s nyhetsrapporteringar Min upplevelse förändrades under terroristattacken i Stockholm tidigare i år. Svensk polis må ha skött sig bra, väl förberedda genom god träning, en träning värd att exportera till andra länder. Men Svt:s hemsida gjorde mig frustrerad. Jag har sedan dess ett kritiskt öga. Det har skett en förändring. Websidan är helt enkelt inte bra.

Rapport är fortfarande okej att titta på, tycker jag. Aktuellt är för det mesta urtråkigt. Dess ”fördjupningar” är inte intressanta för mig. ”Inte intressanta” skulle också kunna betyda oförargliga.

Så icke igår, onsdagen den 6 september 2017. Då intervjuades Cigdem Akyol. Hon har skrivit en biografi om Turkiets president Erdogan, boken nu aktuell i Sverige (reklam?). Boken handlar om hans fattiga uppväxt, hans religiositet, hans nationalism och hans insatser för att höja levnadsstandarden för vanligt folk genom reformer.

Akyol blev tillfrågad om hon ansåg att Turkiet är på väg mot en diktatur. Svaret blev ett entydigt och starkt betonat NEJ. Akyoul menar att livet i Turkiet har blivit bättre genom Erdogan. Det är ”bara” oppositionen som far illa och riskerar att åka i fängelse. Men om man tillhör gemene man, tillämpar ”common sense” och håller tyst – ja, då lever man ett bra liv i hennes hemland.

Akyol har turkiska föräldrar, men är född och uppväxt i Tyskland och definierar sig som tysk. Men ser sig som en ambassadör för både Tyskland och Turkiet (hennes egna ord i ett klipp på Yotube). Hur hon nu får ihop det?

Vad kommer härnäst på svenska nyheter? En ”djupintervju” med några nazister vid Bokmässan. En presentation av en biografi om Josef Stalin, Adolf Hitler, Robert Mugabe, Kim Jong-Un ….?

Citat från Tv programmet ”Men Turkiet håller inte på att bli en diktatur. Turkiet är inte Syrien, Turkiet är inte Irak under Saddam Hussein. Det finns skillnader – för första har vi en existerande opposition i Turkiet. Och det finns också, även om det låter märkligt, oberoende medier, de existerar förfarande. Och det är också viktigt att understryka att miljontals människor stöder Erdogan. Både i Turkiet och utanför”.

Akyoul får efter denna proklamation följande kommentar från intervjuaren ”Men han har gått hårt åt oppositionen? Och Akyoul svarar ”Men det är ’bara’ oppositionen. Det betyder att miljoner av människor lever ett lugnt och fridfullt liv. Men det stämmer att om man är emot Erdoğan får man problem – du har helt rätt – du kan förlora jobbet, bli fängslad, utvisad eller fråntagen sitt pass. Men om man är med systemet, om man använder sunt förnuft och avstår att kritisera systemet så klarar man sig.”

Alltså: använd sunt förnuft: kritisera inte ditt samhälle, men håll käften och då kan du leva ett lyckligt liv utan problem!

 

 

 

I had earlier high thoughts about Swedish journalism. I have relied on the objectivity by Swedish TV’s reports, as being among the best in the world – in my opinion i.e. My experience changed during the terrorist attack in Stockholm earlier this year. The Swedish police did so utterly well, prepared by good training, a training well hosted to be exported to other countries. But Swedish TV’s website news made me frustrated. And I have since then a critical eye.  And I believe there might been a change, as it not good  enough any longer. But live broadcasts are still okay, mostly.

But yesterday, Wednesday, September 6, 2017, the German journalist Cigdem Akyol was interviewed. She has written a biography over the Turkish President Erdoğan and the development in Turkey during his regime. It’s a book about his poor upbringing as an “underdog”, his religiosity, his efforts to raise living standards, his nationalism.

First of all she’s points out: “It very important for journalists to change the point of view.”

Akyol was asked in the end of the interview if she felt that Turkey was heading for a dictatorship. The answer was a clearly and strongly emphasized NO. Akyoul tells that life in Turkey has improved through Erdogan’s reforms. It is “just” the opposition who is in danger of being in be imprisoned. But if you belong to the common man, apply “common sense” and keep quiet – yes, then you can live a good life in her home country.

Akyol has Turkish parents,  but she was born and raised in Germany and defines herself as a German. But she sees herself also as an ambassador for both Germany and Turkey (her own words in a clip on Yotube). How she get that together is a mystery, really.

And what will come next on the Swedish broadcasts and “in depended” TV news, I wonder? A “deep interview” with some Nazis at the Swedish “Bokmässan”. A presentation of a biography over Josef Stalin, or Adolf Hitler, or Robert Mugabe, or Kim Jong-Un …? Just poor fellows making life better for the most… they just eliminate some “elements” they don’t like… you know!

Quote from the TV program. Ms. Akyol claims “But Turkey is not becoming a dictatorship. Turkey is not Syria, Turkey is not Iraq under Saddam Hussein. There are differences – first, we have an existing opposition in Turkey. And there is also, although it sounds strange, independent media, they still exist. And it is also important to emphasize that millions of people support Erdogan. Both in Turkey and abroad “.

After this declaration the Swedish journalist commented to Akyol, “But he has been cracking down very hard at the opposition?

And Akyoul answers: “But it’s ‘only’ the opposition. So it means millions of people in Turkey have no problems live a lovely and peaceful life. It means if you are against Erdogan, you are totally right, you have big problem. You can lose your job, you can be jailed, they can kick you out of the country or they can take your passport. But if you are with the system, if you are in common sense, if you are not criticizing the system, if you are silent: nothing will happen to you.”

So people: use common sense: do not criticize your society, but shut up and then you can live a happy life without problems!

 

 

 

 

 

Russia, Turkey and Saudi Arabia cause problems in the Swedish society by infiltration of hidden propaganda and through money donations to different groups, using the democratic system to undermine democracy.

Posted in "culture", borders, create life, living in the world, morality, poems by vonnely, politics, repression and borders, Sweden view, Swedish conditions, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

He’s a daydreamer, he’s a dream of love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Her lover is a keen daydreamer and
he’s dreaming about their daily life,
like they hope it will be one day and
in his secret life he imagine how they
make dinner together, having tea and
watch TV and sit at the beach talking….

When she was young like him she used
to daydream a lot too. Now those days
are gone. She live ruled by her words all
day and have no fantasies before the day
is off and she late in night comes to bed.

Then in bed she close her eyes and dream
about him and behind her eyelids she can
see the stream of body hair flowing from
his nipples, becoming to a river running
to the dark beach down below his navel
and to an ocean of desires coming next
which she can only sense in her boldest
wishes and wildest fantasies, so secretly
hidden and never exclaimed in words –
no, not even in her breathing whispers.

As they live far from each other she doesn’t
know him that well and yet he is closer than
anyone else and her palms can senses him,
as they have walked in his forests and dales
for years now, just behind her eyelids.

So she sleep soothed in his arms every night
and she wakes up kissed every new morning.

Posted in Attraction, loneliness, love poem, love story, manly body, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, rebellious lovers, relationships, secret love, sexuality, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Oh man, you make my heart to a dried fruit

When you were gone, life was empty
and I felt like half of myself. Now back,
you’re holding yourself back and with
your indolence you make my heart to
a dried fruit and silenced I ask myself
“what was it I was missing?”

 

(translated from English to Swedish)

När du var borta var livet tomt
och jag kände mig som hälften
av mig själv. Nu är du tillbaka
och du håller dig själv tillbaka
och med din indolens gör du
mitt hjärta till en torkad frukt.
Tystad frågar jag mig själv
“vad var det jag saknade?”

Posted in love poem, love story, poem in English and Swedish, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Two dreamers in the night

 

 

 

I said to my son last night “they killed
King, they killed the Kennedy brothers,
so why no one kill that disgusting Kim?”
The best to say about that beast, he has
reduced your daily life’s little worries as
they don’t matters so much, if you don’t
know if you will wake up tomorrow to a
fatal nuclear war or not wake up at all.
When I woke up today to a bright new
day in peace but without you, I stayed in
my bed a while pondering and wondering
if this “without you” will last forever and
I remembered how you used to say “I will
never forget you, nothing can kill the love
I have for you”. They killed King but not
his dream, they killed the brothers but not
democracy. You shot a missile right into my
heart and you got me forever even apart.

 

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The loneliest girl in the world

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t feel good now, left alone
and no one at all around, silence
and emptiness chase me. When
I walked around in my flat today
carrying the burden of myself
I got the idea I should write a
novel about it and call my book
“The loneliest girl in the world”
and it would of course be about
me, only one lonely. Because
this you can’t have and survive.
The strange thing is – thousands
and thousands girls in the world
would love my book, thinking
“it’s just about me”, only.

 

 

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I’m thinking of my Romeo

 

I’m scattered and uninspired to
words, because I’m ambivalent
and uncertain about you, you
my beloved brother in my heart.
Just as identical twins I can feel
how your thoughts embrace me
now in this very moment. Yet, it
would be easier to love siblings
if they just were not siblings! It’s
not distance or differences that
drives us apart, it’s similarities
and the closeness between us.
In another time and another life
we would have been brother and
sister, not two strangers in love.
I don’t know what to do with you.

The two brothers Knopfler, Mark and David, in Dire Straits at the times they were still talking to each other

 

 

 

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Making an apple pie with a secret jewel in mind

 

After a wakeful night, the dawn
longed and feared and I slept all
morning, this the first and bright
September day.

One of the coming days, I’ll peel
an apple and cut it to cubes and
powder it with cinnamon and put
it in the oven ten minutes, 200C.

Meanwhile I’ll mix crushed almonds,
coconut flakes and soft butter to a
dough, flavored with cinnamon and
cardamom and vanilla powder. I’ll
cover the warm apple pieces with
the dough and put it all back in
the oven for another quarter.

The apple pie will be served with
whipped cream, flavored with an
ounce of vanilla powder and as
a birth day cake for my son.

To the cake I’ll drink my daily coffee,
as I drink it right now and as I’ll do
forever, feeling it pours down into
my throat, spreading its heat in my
frozen soul. Now as every day. Now
as always. Now and forever.

And while I now drink my coffee,
I think of all these days to come
when I’ll be cradled in your
memory and you in mine.

When I lost you, I lost a jewel.
That’s how I think about you,
you to know and nothing to add.

 

 

 

 

Posted in create life, love poem, love story, memories, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, secret love | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why are knife blades cold and kisses warm?

 

 

My dear beloved, if you prefer today
to go with your father to the backyard
to cut the throat of a sheep than to be
my lover, then you are not much of a
lover to have. Leastwise, you’ll never
more carry out a thoughtless slaughter
in indifference, but you’ll remember me
as the red life drains out of the animal
and its gaze fades under your hands.

But left in despair I wonder:
why are knife blades so cold
and why are kisses so warm,
why was I trapped by an unicorn
and why is the love so hard to hold?

Unicorn on a fresco in Palazzo Farnese, probably painted by Domenichino, around 1602.

 

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