Missing someone

But no common sense can deny
the missing in me after you and
all I can wish for now is that its
bitter-sweetness stays with me
all my days left, if you cannot.

Ändå kan inget sunt förnuft
förneka saknaden i mig efter
dig och allt jag önskar är att
dess bitterljuva sötma ska bli
kvar hos mig resten av mina
dagar, om du inte kan det.

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Posted in aging, heartache, loss, love poem, poem in Swedish and English, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

I have met so many beautiful people

Roland Utbult, member of the Swedish Parliament, December 3, 2017

The Swedish parliament politician Roland Utbult sings his speech on December 4, 2017

I have met so many beautiful people
holding mercy in their arms
they don’t point finger at the weak ones,
but meets them with a stretched hand
At a time when dark forces prevail
they have the power to resist
When egoism builds walls
they don’t lose their courage

I have met so many beautiful people
children of salvation
I have met so many warm people
in an often hard and cold world
those ones creating peace around themselves
a bright and friendly atmosphere
The give themselves in service to others
without profit for their own part
And they show us others the way
how to be true and complete

I have met so many warm people
they are children of salvation
I have met so many brave people
who have shown power and courage
When the terror spreads horror and fear
they help us to dare to believe
that love is what binds together
and wins over hatred
and the people choose side
with a sea of flower

I have met so many beautiful people
children of salvation
they are children of salvation…

https://www.svtplay.se/klipp/16217058/politiker-bjuder-pa-sang-i-riksdagen?info=visa

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roland Utbult (KD) valde att sjunga från talarsolen i riksdagen måndag 4 december 2017

Jag har mött så många vackra människor
med barmhärtigheten i sin famn
som inte pekar finger åt de svaga,
men möter med en utsträckt hand
I en tid då mörka krafter råder
har de kraft att stå emot
När egoismen bygger murar
de tappar inte mod

Jag har mött så många vackra människor
barn av saligheten
Jag har mött så många varma människor
i en ofta hård och kylig värld
de är dom skapar fred omkring sig
en ljus och vänlig atmosfär
De ger sig hän i tjänst för andra
utan vinst för egen del
Och de visar oss andra vägen
hur man blir sann och hel

Jag har mött så många varma människor
de är barn av saligheten
Jag har mött så många tappra människor
som har visat handlingskraft och mod
När terrorn sprider skräck och rädsla
de hjälper oss att våga tro
att kärleken den binder samman
och segrar över hat
och folket väljer sida
med ett blomsterhav

Jag har mött så många vackra människor
barn av saligheten
de är barn av saligheten

Posted in create life, inspiring songs, living in the world, love story, morality, politics, Sweden view, Swedish poem to English, walk of life, walls | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saffron is the scent of Christmas in Sweden

Posted in "culture", Swedish conditions | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

I washed my hair this morning

 

 

 

 

I washed my hair this morning, thinking
you may show up. Now it’s noon, the sun
has reached my window and my hair has
dried. Yet not even the steam from your
breath on my window pane! Oh, I do not
miss you, I just can’t stop thinking about
you. I do not think I love you, I just want
to be with you all the time! I was thinking
about you this morning while I washed my
hair. That’s what I always do, think of you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in dreamers, longing, love poem, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sweden today

At the Sweden’s most northerly point, called Three-Country Cairn, the sun will never raise from today, the first of December. This will be for about 2 weeks. Then the same phenomenon will appears at Sweden’s northernmost city Kiruna. It is 135 kilometer between those two places and for people living in those parts of the country that kind of distance is – almost – like a walk to your next door neighbor to have a coffee and a chat. It is a sparsely populated part of the country.

No sunrise means not complete darkness, even if no sun there will be a light from it shown 4 hours and 44 minutes!

In Kiruna lives about lives 18 200 people. The community’s primary occupation is the mining industry. This mining has resulted in the whole city now must move, because the ground has weakened. The community will dismantle some house and rebuilt them on a chosen safer place.

There is a village even more north than Kiruna. It is Karesuando about 180 kilometers north east Kiruna and it lies at the border to Finland. About 300 people lives in the village, but still people have all they need there for a living: primary school, day care center, grocery stores, church, gas station, various shops, library, gym, bath house, hotels, hostels, public health service, medical center, retirement home and post office. But no police station.

Sweden most south point is called Smygehuk. It’s 1568 kilometers straight line between Smygehuk and Three-Country Cairn.

If you would translate the name Smygehuk to English you could believe the meaning would be (Swedish) “smyga” = sneak (in English) and (the Swedish) “huka” = crouch( in English). Sneakcrouch with other words? No, Smygehuk actually means “narrow cape”. No one lives there, it’s only a tourist view point.

As the map shows, Sweden is a long and narrow country and we have three climate zones. When it is still summer in south, you have autumn in the middle parts of the country and the winter has already began in the north.

I have never been in the North of Sweden. It looks exotic from what I see on pictures, even though it’s my own country. I have no desire to go there. Like many Swedes I long for a sunny and a warmer climate.

From the northernmost place I’ve ever visited in Sweden there is 851 kilometers straight line to Kiruna, 1177 kilometers on the highways. From the city I live, it is 1076 kilometers straight line, 1499 kilometers on the roads. North  Sweden is like another world in my mind.

From the city there I actually live (in the more south part of the country) and to Stockholm – there my son lives and works – it’s 174 kilometers northward and straight line. But 198 kilometers the road way. He has no car so he takes the train when he visits me. It’s 209 kilometers and is calculated to take 2 hours. It seldom do as the administration of the train traffic has gone to hell. In my youth – long time ago – you could set the watch after the train traffic. Times changes – and so we with them.

From the south to Stockholm, the capital of Sweden, it’s 526 kilometers straight line. From Stockholm to Kiruna it’s 955 kilometers. Yet Stockholm and it surroundings is called “Middle Sweden”. It’s more of an economic, social and cultural description. But it’s the center in the public consciousness too. All area outside the Stockholm area is like “out there in nowhere”. “The pulse” is in Stockholm. Yet everyone certainly knows that is not so…

But not many people live at the big North. Most lives in “Middle Sweden” or around in Gothenburg at the West coast or in Malmoe in the South. The green color on the map shows the most densely populated areas, the dark red parties show the least inhabited areas.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stockholm is considered to be the hub of (upper class-) culture rewarding superiority to those born to “be better” than ordinary people. Stockholm is where mostly the richest in the country lives, those now identified through the revealing Paradise Papers.

There in Stockholm we find “the 18”, forming the Swedish Academy giving glamour to Sweden abroad every year because of the Nobel Prize award. Next big event coming now in December.

The club most consist elderly men with one foot in their grave. Nevertheless they boasts of owning a skill and culture, “genius and taste” more than the most of us. The Swedish Academy is a private club with rules and secrecy belonging to an ancient time. No transparency at all is the strictest rule. Though those members in the club and their friends really believes they belong to an elite of the Swedish people.

With such arrogance there is no surprise #metoo has shaken this institution in its foundations as the club for years has protected a “cultural personality” guilty of “inappropriate and unwanted sexual behavior” – as they now prefer to name it!

It’s a man now 71 years old, married to a member of the Swedish Academy and involved with several of the others members, it’s about friendships, social events, money and privileges etecetera.

For two decades this man has acted as bad as ever Harvey Weinstein. It is a behavior in the whole scale from habitual verbal abuses, unwanted sexual touching, several repeated cases of stalkings and rapes. And it has been going on for 20 years! And like with Weinstein, this was a “secret” people around him all knew about. Now they say they had heard rumors he “liked women” but that he must have lived a double life they knew nothing about – such cowardly and lying hypocrites!

The question to be raised is what obligations have those who for years allows a perpetrator to work freely without the guardian of morality preventing it.

As a good citizen you are obliged to prevent misconduct whenever you see it. When it comes to this person it seems his wife and closest friends who actively hushed people in order to protect this man. This is even more serious as the victims mostly was young girls, which by the man was threaten with to lose every chance to make a carrier in their future lifes  as artists or writers – if they did not accept his sexual behavior against them. They would never get jobs and scholarships in their skills, so they were told if they said “no” – and the victims was also told “don’t you know who I’m married to”! Therefore I must see this wife as accomplice, she must have known what creep he was and still is.

It is not only a few men in the cultural sector and in the media that appears to act like pigs against the women. It has been reveled through the #metoo campaign going on in all sectors of the Swedish society.

Thousands and thousands women now  testifies about harassment’s. It is female artists, actors, musicians, teachers, doctors and other healthcare practitioners, athletes, politicians – it is every sector in this society, not even men in the horse sports walks free from conduct harassment against women and girls!

The fall of the Berlin wall 1989

It’s good it comes out in light. But it is disgusting!

This movement #metoo has become to the same dimension as “the Arabic spring” but in Sweden – and this will no doubt lead to a real change of the society. I would like to compare it with the fall of the Berlin wall. Because it’s big what’s happens here now – and there is no turning back from this.

 

How come this movement has become such big in Sweden? Is Sweden not the most equal country in the world for women to live in? Is not Scandinavian women the most liberated women in the world?

Yes, the women yes! Women in Sweden are liberated.

The men never became. They just pretended they were following us. And they have taken revenge on their female coworkers by mocking them on a daily basis, calling it jokes. They have humor – women have not, they tell!

Young women on their working places have been told by their older female colleagues not to bother and not talk about it when they have been harassed. For their own good! So it is said! Even when it went so far it came to rapes, women were told to forget about it and move on with life and work… And they did, afraid to lose their jobs. But some got sick and was treated for “incomprehensible” anxiety. Some just resigned from making a career and married and got kids, moving their ambitions of a good life to the private sector.

A patriarchal order is not only performed by men. There are few female bullies revealed! And it is of course not about sex, but misuse of power and leadership to repress women as a group.

Even now those women talking under #metoo become mocked, told their stories are witch hunts. A negative woman journalist said about this “I fear those too easily insulted people takes over the agenda” and she and other (female) journalists warns it will be mob rule in media that will violates legal processes. Again women are told: shut up!  And this coming from other women! It’s disgusting. It’s darkness!

Men (in media) has been more silent during the last weeks #metoo movement in Sweden. Not many words, but those told has been  positive. But an 82 years old “cute” (sic!) man, certain of his charm would work for him – “known for TV” sort of person – has even compared all the women stories under #metoo with Stalin’s purges. So a young woman telling she been raped by her boss, is to compare with Stalin’s purges? Yes, it is what this old wise man claims.

82 years old Swedish journalist Staffan Heimerson comparing #metoo with Stalin’s purges

He got a shock when he got fired from the newspaper and now he is upset and he say he has the “freedom of speech”. Yes, he has… And he did, poor devil!

But many in Sweden, both men and women, are very happy for this movement. A feminist of my generation say in a today paper she is very happy for #metoo, “now I can die in piece”… She is only two years older than me and I’m 68. And I’m not ready to do die “in peace” yet, really. She worries me, frankly…

And she should think twice as Sweden institutions are preparing for to raise the obligatory pension age from 65 to 70 – so we oldies must take our vitamins and run one or two lap more, before we even can think of dying!

But truly, this never ending movements of #metoo don’t make me happy… 😦 No!  I think all what has been revealed is like living at the most Northern part of the country. It is so dark! At the view point at Three-Country Cairn. Darkness, friends! 😦

From today no sun, just a reflection from it gives some guiding light to see a path to move forward. 

I have for years been confused over why Swedish men in Swedish movies and TV serials are portrait as timid, withdrawn and henpecked guys. And so equal and kind to their women. Because it is not my view of “the Swedish man”. I have reasons to mistrust!

But I’ve been informed by Swedish men that men from other countries oppresses women. I should be aware of then, I’m told. Men from other countries often have conservative opinions about men and women, yes. But opinions is one thing and behavior another. To my personal experience Swedish men are arrogant and patronizing and mansplaining. And that is not opinions, that is behavior! I don’t like them.

Still I read in papers Swedish men like the 82 yo male journalist treating female coworkers as puppies, tries to claim those male offenders only are “a few clumsy boys” who been drinking too much. A little “courting” women must accept at parties, he say. Try still to look teddy bears those Swedish men, when simply a grizzly bear.

It’s really dark in December – but if we can imagine moving a whole city (as the Kiruna community plans), then we can certainly imagine a change in the social climate so that the little light we have in the Swedish winter there also comes over the young women, allow them to be able to share it with everyone without fear the big grizzly man!

Smygehuk, the most southern point of Sweden

 

Posted in cultures, darkness, dreamers, light, living in the world, nature, obstacles, poems by vonnely, politics, reading, relationships, repression and borders, sexuality, Swedish conditions, threatened, walk of life, walls, web papers, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

To be frank about the nature of our love

 

 

 

 

 

 

I woke up from my late afternoon nap.
And then I missed him. Or to be frank –
I missed to have the warm tenderness
between two people being together and
liking each other. But he’s never here –
and frankly he never understand a word
I say. And to be even more frank about
love and such, he’s the only one offering
it to me. And it’s chilly here in my flat.

A moment later and still in the same mood
now with a blanket around my shoulders
I stand in my kitchen pouring hot water in
a Melitta with coffee powder. Sudden I can
hear a well-known Dylan song in my head.
It’s”It ain’t me babe”. And while I listen to
the tune in me and make my coffee, I think –
this is frankly the truth about him and me.

I’m not the one he’s looking for and he’s not
the one I need in my life. But we’ve the same
longing for love and the same desire to find
anyone to paste that stamp of love on.

I guess I hold on to him because he’s frankly
better than nothing.  But I should certainly
tell him how I feel about him and me. Yet –
it’s hard to talk with him as he’s frankly the
dumbest person I ever met in my whole life.
But, he is kind and he say he loves me more
than anything and I like him a bit. Frankly –
I fear truth would make me lose having him
in my life. So – I don’t know what to do with
him and with us? He just want peace, he say.

Well, I put all those thoughts away – as getting
nowhere with them and I drink my coffee calmly
while I watch the News on TV, all conflicts as far
as he is. If I’m lucky we’ll have a talk on phone
later and then I’ll sleep again. It’s not much, but
it’s something! And tomorrow is another day?

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in create life, inspiring songs, loneliness, longing, love poem, love story, morality, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, walk of life, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

What makes you happy, some notes about how to interpret lyrics and poetry

When you are young you brag with knowing as many tea labels as possible. Or beer brands. And how to drink it. You know best. You brag about how many poets you have read and talk insightful about something in… for example, Walt Whitman’s poetry. You know it all.

When you get old you are happy to have found a course wheat bran with only 15 gram carbohydrates per 100 gram, suitable both for your diabetes and hard flirted bowels. You are experienced, but you know now you don’t know so much.

(But I never had a thing for Whitman in real life. Or tea labels. Or beer brands. I was so little young when I was young, mostly captured in anxiety and bad self-esteem, stunned of those skilled young ones around. I didn’t even knew I was a beauty. Now I know I was and now I am no longer.)

Tina Turner and Clare Turton Dericco

When you are young your hearts innocence is mirrored your face’s smooth skin. When you get old your heart are full of scars and your face similar to it, getting a raisin image. You’re not so trusty any longer and nor so cynical anymore.

Once you studied literature and you learned to interpret poetry. You certainly could make a Hash dish of a beef steak.

When you get old you either lost it all or you are poetry, living. Yet at the same you’re solid like a timber log and empty as a forgotten well, dehydrated by rarely being used.

Bob Dylan And Suze Rotolo

Once you loved passionate and yet at the same you betrayed your beloved one as if you never had got to know love. When you get old you become virtuous – and further more you interprets poetry in another way than before.

I have just read an analysis of Bob Dylan song “Don’t think twice it’s alright”. The writer finds it’s remarkable the text tells the story the opposite from how “she” and “he” were in reality. What this writer apparently is completely unaware about is that a poet’s “I” not necessarily refers to the “I” who write, but as well can be his/hers “you” – in the real life.

Because when you write a poem it’s easier and useful to go into the other ones mind and feelings and write from his/hers perspective. Literature critics seems to be unaware about this phenomena. And if they are, they actually have no idea what they are doing.

Of course this phenomena only occurs in the blessed writing and in the frame of the poem. Then after you go back to who you really are, a self-obtained badass, more or less numb to the other. (I’m talking about me now, I don’t know how Dylan was/is as a person to live with and neither do those who interpret him from his songs and stories told about him.)

I was not brought up in an intellectual family. My first experience of reading poetry was at age 18 and it was reading a high school anthology about literature. It was exciting! And I still remember one of those first poems I read and who the writer was, still it’s 50 years later. My worst moment in experiencing poetry was when I a few years later read an analysis of a poem by another well-known poet. The interpreter served the reader biographical details about the poet’s private life and relation to a specific woman, it all more than you wanted to know.

But thinking about it – that literature researcher actually claimed the writer had taken the woman’s perspective and described her feelings and not his own. (I recall it firstly right now!) But still and all together that analysis made me nauseous and almost ruined my interest in poetry. I really hated that reading.

Mark Knopfler and Emmylou Harris

A while ago when surfing online I stumbling over a blog having an entry about Mark Knopfler and his song “Romeo and Juliet”. The blog writer said he wished he could write lyrics like Knopfler. That was nice told as being a bit humble. But the rest of the post was a bit annoying to read in its arrogance. The blogger analyzed the environment in the song and postulated there probably were no street light at Shakespeare time. And furthermore he found Romeo was an immature idiot who should grow up (?) and Juliet was just a bitch…

This person had also a delicate task with trying to understand one verse. As he got the lines wrong. This is the verse:

And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be
All I do is keep the beat in a rock’n’roll band company
All I do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme
Julie I’d do the stars with you any time

Knopfler mumbles when he sings so I’ve seen everywhere online people got the lyrics wrong and believes Knopfler sings he “keep the beat in bad company” and kiss the girl “through bars of Orion”. Luckily it is was not so bad for him then!

(But I pity that blogger and his limited and cynical views of love and lovemaking.)

In love relations we all are idiots and sometimes we all behave like bitches to later regret it. But if we not have love in our life we are not happy either – all we long for is to find this magic “love” thing.

Dylan has written some songs about bitter break ups. And as I wrote earlier you can’t be so sure he talk in own person and blame the person told about in the song.

Though, analysis I read about literature not necessarily arouse my contrariness. I found a funny one today, written by a Dutch writer I didn’t know about before. (The more I‘m surfing on the subjects that interests me, the more I realize how little I know and especially of music and literature.)

Joost Nillissen, Dutch writer born 1951

Angelina / Bob Dylan
24 Jul 2017
|
Joost Nillissen
A deep sense of regret

Tony Attwood struggled with this song in his commentary on his illuminating and highly recommended website bob-dylan.org.co.uk and Len hit the nail on the head with his comment of November 20, 2016. It’s about an ugly divorce.
When I first heard the song I was still happily married to a woman well endowed and the lyrics almost immediately inspired me to paint three large canvasses with images from the song: The pale white horse, the angel with four faces and the woman well endowed.
The paintings are now in another country, gathering dust underneath my ex wife’s bed that she shares with a stranger. I wish her a long and happy life and him an erectile dysfunction ’till the end of his days.

I guess Dylan was in a similar mood when he wrote “Angelina”. Dylan can bite and kick, charm and seduce in his love songs and then say truly terrible things such as “you just kind of wasted my precious time”. He can bear a grudge for a long time, just as he can pine for his lost lover for almost forever. …. Read more:
https://www.uitgeverijterebint.nl/single-post/2017/07/24/Angelina-Bob-Dylan

 

 

 

 

Posted in create life, dreamers, inspiring literature, inspiring music, inspiring songs, love story, poems by vonnely, Poetry, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

It causes me pain in my fingers to spread butter on the bread

It causes me pain in my fingers to spread butter on the bread. I have luckily bought ready-sliced cheese home, but when I stretch out my arm for a slice of cheese it hurts in my back.

The relapse this time now gets me bad. I can’t sleep more than one and half hour at a time and it’s a horror to get through a night and I simply not get enough sleep and I’m a mess the next day.

And I’m so stiff I hardly get out of bed and well up I walk like a duck because of pains in feet and hips. And it hurts everywhere else too: arms, neck, back, ass…

Yet I have had worse times than now. It has been times I simply lost it and hugged my pillow and cried of unbearable pains and wished I was dead.

But I will not die because of my health situation.

I suffer since about 27 years of a chronic disease called fibromyalgia. But I got the diagnose 17 years ago. It’s a lap of ten years I never get back. Lost! A diagnose at least give some kind legitimacy to your situation.

The sickness can’t be diagnosed with any laboratory tests, only by criteria (symptoms). Even today there are some doctors thinking it’s something “psychosomatic”. Some even add depression as a symptom. This annoys me very much as “depression” is a sickness in itself. You get negatively affected emotionally and exhausted by a sickness with severe pains and bad sleep and other losses in life, yes – but it has nothing to do with depression. But okay – you get in bad mood and you not smile that much, it is true!

There is no cure against fibromyalgia. There is no cure for love either the song goes – and it’s good if you have love, because it helps a lot. If you not have love, hot showers and stretching are good helpers to ease the pains.

Some years ago I was recommended 3-weeks cures with a combination paracetamol ibuprofen. That cure destroyed my intestines so badly my body nowadays can’t tolerate any medications in tablet form, which really is a big problem. I even got poisoned with effect on my liver for a while and became so sick I had to see a doctor.

At that same occasion I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. So now I have two chronic diseases – independent of the other though, neither causing the other.

This two sicknesses are very differently treated by health care. As a patient with fibromyalgia you are completely and devastating ignored and get no help at all. For the diabetes you are overall controlled and checked up and at the same time you are demanded by diabetic nurses “to take control over the sickness”.

So with diabetes you are told to take “control” (constant monitoring of the body) and when it comes to fibromyalgia you are told to “learn to live it” (forget you have a body). It’s just madness!

It always annoys me a lot when I now and then read articles in magazines about this sickness. As it is mostly those “I-have-learned-to-live-it”- trained patients talking and telling you they could not have done it without support from family, friends, healthcare and therapy in form of psychological support and training.

And note, it’s not doctors’ now talking bull but interviewed patients telling, people having the sickness. Sometimes reading this articles I doubt those told about really have that sickness. It’s too much of that “positive thinking” stuff.

Nelson Mandela spend 18 years on Robben Island and became best friend with his jailer. It doesn’t make it good. He was jailed, whatever!

There is nothing good with fibromyalgia. (Well, there is actually – it will not kill you.)

If you have a family, they simply have to live with the sickness too. If one family member have a demanding chronic sickness, the whole family have the sickness. That is a bitter reality many families have come to experienced.

You can choose to call it “support” when people you live with take on that burden. It is a burden! And the family has no real choice either. But it’s not done without love.

(I have a friend who suffer from RA (rheumatoid arthritis) since many years. She has also been married for many years and once she defined love, by telling how her husband always loosens the jar lids for her on whatever jars in the kitchen she wants, without she have to ask him to do it every time. I think that is very touching story!)

Fact: There is no money to make in this sickness called fibromyalgia.

Fact: It is mostly women over age 35 who suffer this sickness.

The support society offer you are psychological treatment. I have never been offered it.

No wonder I haven’t, maybe. Because I claim this: if you live with daily pains and become almost immobile because of them and it’s a health situation you never can be cured from – if you get used to that then you really have become a mess, my dear! Frankly!

Never get used to anything whatsoever that is bad for you, I say.

You have daily pains when you have fibromyalgia. Always. Mostly not so severe and mostly you “learn to live it” insofar you hardly notice it anymore. But then when you have relapses with severe symptoms it gets so bad you hardly can stand having people around – if not family knowing your situation.

Because people not familiar with the sickness simply don’t accept it: feeling bad or something and tell you “to do something about it!” And that is too much, really!  During a relapse you have no strength to deal with such people.

Thus, fibromyalgia is a disease that makes you isolated from other people.

And that is “what you have to live with”!

Posted in body image, create life, living with chronic diseases, Living with chronic pains, loneliness, loss, poems by vonnely, reading, web papers | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

So much love…

Vladimir Putin embraces Bashar al-Assad during a meeting in Sochi, Russia, on Monday November 20, 2017

After weeks of silence and not a beep from or about Putin, I was wondering if he has been  so busy with his last puppy he haven’t got the time to do or say any to be caught up in media? But on Monday he met the invited Bashar al-Assad. So much love… 😉

And on Wednesday Putin has invited  Iran’s Hassan Rouhani and Turkey Recip Tayyip Erdogan, this I’m reading on an  analysis by Nick Paton Walsh, CNN

http://edition.cnn.com/2017/11/21/middleeast/putin-assad-photograph/index.html

It’s reminds the Syria conflict is not yet solved. ISIS not yet defeated to the last cell.

Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman (left) and Emmanuel Macron met in Riyadh on Thursday November 9, 2017

Talking about Iran… Thursday November 9 President Macron paid Saudi Arabia an unscheduled meeting, talking Lebanon and Yemen.

(Those false big smiles really gives me unpleasant stomach moves… ) 😦

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-41937439

 

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-france-emirates-saudi/frances-macron-broaches-lebanon-in-surprise-saudi-visit-idUSKBN1D92BD

Macron welcomes Lebanon’s Hariri to Elysee Palace 18 Nov 2017

Just after  Gothenburg on Friday 17 November 2917, Macron ruched home to France for on Saturday welcome  Saad al-Hariri, saved to France from  Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman big smile and suffocating hug. At least smiles and a hug that seems genuine and pleases me to see… 🙂

French President Emmanuel Macron (right) greets Lebanese Prime Minister Saad Hariri at the Elysee Palace in paris, on November 18, 2017 (dailymail.co.uk)

 

 

 

He looked pleased with himself too – him Macron! He should be. 🙂

 

“Our”  Foreign Minister Margot Wallström has the latest weekend visited Bangladesh  and the refugee camps there with the Rohingya people. It did not make her smile. The Monday after she visited Burma and had a talk with Chancellor Aung San Suu Kyi.

Amnesty International has classified the persecution and mass killings of the Muslim population as apartheid in Burma. About 600.000 or more have fled Burma. And China say “let Burma solve their inner problems”.

I don’t understand how “we” the Christian people in a few weeks will be able to over consume food and gifts to celebrate Christmas, while the state of Bangladesh not even can support its on citizens and those refugees suffer so terrible? This! – and Europe leaders talks about Europe having a “refugee crisis”?

Angela Merkel

Still human and reaching out, my favourite Angela  Merkel, is losing ground. Since last week she has negotiated to build a new government, but failed. It has giving me gloomy thoughts how life would be without her.

She sees a new election as a possibility. And I hope she will make it some more years. She’s unique and needed.

Posted in borders, create life, cultures, living in the world, morality, poems by vonnely, reading, repression and borders, Sweden view, web papers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Disappointed

I woke up one morning the other day
and saw like a sign for my inner sight,
short simply written “I’m disappointed”
Just that: no anger and no frustration,
no nothing: not one emotion in motion
for all the time and energy I’ve wasted
on him! Oh, just think of how I thought
he was my special one when he was no
one and never there! But how do I tell
none there that I’ll be gone tomorrow?

Jag vaknade en morgon häromdagen
och såg som en skylt för min inre syn
kort och enkelt skriven “jag är besviken”
Bara det: ingen ilska, ingen frustration,
nej ingenting: inte en känsla i rörelse
för all den tid och energi jag har slösat
på honom! Åh, men tänk hur jag trodde
han var den rätte för mig – när han var
ingen och aldrig där! Men hur berättar
jag för ingen att jag blir borta imorgon?

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So if I don’t have a “real life”, what do I have? Am I dead?

Forgive me friend, but… 😦

… I’ve just read an entry here on wordpress making me pissed off, frankly. I got the same anger exactly one year ago. Because the blogger had the same entry published back then…

He say “Unlike so many “netizens” who inhabit the virtual world, I have a real life – a life filled with daughters, family and real “friends”.

To me “netizen” is a patronizing word. And here it is used by a person very active on internet, publishing a lot of poems and prose. I found that noteworthy. Because I too give my blog much time and I know how much work one single entry can take. So here we have a (… ) denying what he has become with the years? A vivid writer. In the internet world.

And “of course” I google the word “netizens” to see if “it is just me” being annoyed with this word. I found this article from 2013:

… But there’s one term that I cannot stand, a term that I, normally a flexible sort of guy, simply refuse to use. That term is “netizen.” You’ve probably seen it around: Mainstream newspapers and magazines use “netizen” liberally, usually without explanation. And, despite occasional pushback— (…) —“netizen” lives on. I understand this, I really do. I understand that netizen sounds better than “internet user,” (…) it’s time to get rid of “netizen.” It’s inaccurate, obsolete, and outdated—the verbal equivalent of an East German phone book. 

🙂 Yes!! Yes!! At least one more think like me! 🙂 (In this world!)

the quote from: theatlantic.com/china/archive/2013/09/enough-with-the-word-netizen/279969/

I thought this comparison with  “East German phone Book” was so funny I almost forgot to be angry more – an instantly I thought about to rapidly go to bed –  before my huge internet appetite got me googling more, now  on East German phone Books... But maybe that quoted the writer invented that phrase? A creative mind!

Yes! I live my life on Internet! But back to that about  “real life” and what it might be!

I am a single person, living with a cat only and I spend all my day from breakfast to late nights at my laptop, reading and writing – and that is then by definition of (one of) my most faithful reader is not having a “real life” – so I might be dead then? I just don’t know about it?

 

 

 

But what is a real life then? To this man’s definition it is apparently to have relationships and emotional bonds with other people. Nothing wrong with that definition, this concept is what certainly gives the individual a feeling of satisfactory meaning with the own life.

But I would rather call it to be happy than “having a real life”.

There are people who scares me. Yes! Like some people who seriously claims the meaning or goal with your personal life is to be or become happy. I really loathe that kind of “wise” declarations! Yes, I do!

Who the fuck wants to be happy?! Not me, thank you very much!

How many poems or love songs do you think would be written if people would fuss around like happy fools? No please, put that smile away, develop your creativeness  – and sing a blues now and when if it chafes in the soul. Really!

It happens I some time still thinks about my former neighbour. When it comes to this subject “a real life”. He was a middle-aged and very fat man living alone in the same staircase as I still live. He was afraid for people and like froze to a statue or run away if he met anyone – like in the stairs, in or out. I didn’t call the landlord when the strong odor of death came into the stairs. The young couple on third floor did. He lived and died alone. It took weeks to air out the smell of his dead body from the stairs. I still think of him sometimes or of homeless people or of the beggars from Romania at the Supermarkets nearby my home. I think of all them people every time I hear or read the phrase “real life”. An I think of myself. What is that? “A real life”? Was it not a real life he had, my former neighbour? Is it not a real they have, the people begging outside “my” grocery shops? Is my life not “real”?

Yes, what is a “real life” I  wonder pretty often – just because the phrase actually exist. It is obvious I don’t have this luxury of a real life – either. So what am I? Am I dead? Or just a sad spot on the ground?

Well dead people don’t eat and take a shit, so I might not be dead. I suffer from a demanding  fibromyalgia and I have diabetes and high blood pressure. So at least my body is not dead, crying for my attention and care. And forgive my haughtiness, but I think my intellect is pretty good and lively too!

I’m more humble when it comes to have a view about what “life” may be about, especially when it come to others lives. I think every life have its meaning, we may just not see it by eye.

So many of us never come even close to our fully potentials. We never got the love, the friends, the children, the honors, the money or the fame we might deserves and desired. We just have this limited life in the hand. And we just have to respect it. Oh, it is true! Sometimes I’m fed up with “everything” and call my life a “a shit life”  – but then I come to my senses and accept things like they are. It could be worse, I could have been born to be Donald Trump!

Further more, from what I recall from earlier years reading, developmental psychologists say that we would never grow to mature people with common sense without going through frustrations. (In proper doses at the right time.)

Well, well … But now I think I’ve come a little bit from the opening on this post! So I simply leave it to tell you about my project right now (as chained to my laptop not having a “real life”);) hahaha…. 😀

I  have lately got and interest in  a musician named Eddie Hinton. Not much is written about him, I find some fragments of statements from different artists here and there. It is hard to find his lyrics too, so I must listen for hours to him and write the words down the best I can.

He was a man who was lost – when it came to private life. I’ve read a couple of music writers pity him, seemingly want to see him as some kind of victim: as  never becoming “famous” and rich… or whatever!

Those kind of writers asks naively “why, he was such a nice guy”. No, he was not!He was an alcoholic and a drug addict with mental problems and scary and unpredictable and violent outbursts. His own mother had to pitch him out on the street! He was unable to live a normal life with jobs, family and friends and all that.  But he was an artist one of the kind as a songwriter, a musician and  a singer. I like him, Eddie!

 

 

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Gothenburg November 17, 2017 The meeting that never occurred

Gothenburg November 17, 2017 The meeting that never occurred – if you are looking for news about the summit in the world wide press, such as CNN, ABC, BBC and all the other big ones.

Swedish media, on the other hand, wrote a lot about it – the same day! (But not the day after!) A TV reporter told overwhelmingly impressed about the openness of discussions with informal meeting participants and media present. Oh! 😉

That President we all know so well by now 😦 … and other populist right wing politicians always speak loudly about “fake news”. And the big medias have apparently bought the concept, seemingly found it to be more important to report of what those blowheads  last said and done – and by that they media have made themselves into fake news. Sadly!

(I’ve learned that word” blowhead” by Bush senior)  😀

EU meeting Gothenburg November 17, 2017 Donald Tusk and Stefan Löfven

 

The EU Summit was about social security and justice and jobs. But ordinary people’s lives are “understandably” (?) nothing interesting to write big about? 😦

But behind the scenes, it is well understood, this was a meeting primary for the Sweden leaders, all to become friends and partners with the other EU leaders in order to take a common stance towards the leaders in an unstable world around Europe (USA, Arab countries, Asian countries). They all need opportunities to come together to get to know each other well – and that’s the real matter.

It costs a lot of tax money for us common people. I hope it’s worth its. At least it was a good training for Swedish police.

Donald Tusk, Jean-Claude Juncker and Stefan Löfven

Prime Minister Stefan Löfven was pleased with the Friday Summit in Gothenburg, where EU cooperation on social issues was consolidated. Although the guidelines are volunteers, the second host of the meeting also stressed the European Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker: This is no poem collection, it’s a program. (Dagens Nyheter, translated by me)

https://www.dn.se/nyheter/politik/eu-toppmotet-lamnar-fragor-om-uppfoljning/

 

Schools and workplaces closed, traffic stopped and restaurant owners lost huge revenues, but many “Gothenburgers” met the inconvinences with the EU summit calmly.
But of course one wonders how much this costs ” says Gothenburger Kristoffer Lundgren.

It was the day when Europe came to Hisingen and the district of Eriksberg was visited by heads of state and government. Curious gathered outside the locks to try to get a glimpse of celebrities like Theresa May and Emmanuel Macron.

“You see better on television,” said the retired couple Helene and Egon Andersson, who had to walk this day instead of taking the bus to the grocery store.

The EU Summit has developed a lot of criticism in advance due to blockages and waiting traffic problems. Among the residents we meet people in the area around the old factory building Eriksbergshallen, where the negotiations take place, those views are shared. But while the couple Andersson thinks it’s “amazing and great fun” that the neighborhood is well visited and does not care that the neighborhood is blocked, Simon Akyol is troubled about it. He has closed his restaurant this day and the cafe he also operates an he has lost 90 percent of his turnover. It estimates it will cost him 30,000-40,000 SEK.

(translated from Dagens Nyheter DN)

 

Macron and Löfven November 17, 2017 in Gothenburg


https://www.svd.se/lofven-och-juncker-viktigt-steg-mot-mer-socialt-europa (Juncker and Löfven wrote a debate article in a Swedish newspaper – if you read Swedish)

 

So… Mr. Juncker said according to Dagens Nyheter, this meeting and the social pillar is a program and NOT a poetry collection! Or maybe the paper took  a quote from an earlier meeting when he was saying “not a poem”…

Well… I don’t like Mr. Juncker.  As I don’t like his ambitions for the EU. I agree with Mr. Rajoy there are so much differences between the countries in EU in issues o deal with, they should focus on what they are ultimate good at… Mr Rajoy said: It is good with expanded parental insurance and all that stuff, but many of us have a budget to deal with. I think we should focus on what we are good at in Europe, which are systems lacking in big parts in rest of the world. (from Dagens Nyheter).

In my opinion the EU should not become a supranational authority with one military force and a common foreign policy – but should be a union of common trade rules.

https://ec.europa.eu/commission/priorities/deeper-and-fairer-economic-and-monetary-union/european-pillar-social-rights_en

When it comes to poetry collections… it is the only books I read nowadays and poems are what I write (best)!  So I got upset when Mr. Juncker is quoted to have been said patronizing about poems and poetry collections.

 

He’s from Belgium. I’ll check them out, the Belgians, what they got! Of poetry.

Try to stay sober Mr. Juncker, you are not a funny guy. In my opinion.

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Lone / Swan dreams in November

 

 
no love snow and cold
no love freezing hands and heart
no love lone at night

 

 

It don’t come easy –
November sun and swan dreams!
Where did it all go?

 

 

 

Posted in aging, create life, darkness, haiku, loneliness, loss, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

November Sun over EU meeting in Gothenburg and over Samiland

Ylva Johansson Labor Minister, Åsa Regnér Minister for children, elderly and equality, Annika Strandhäll Minister for Social Affairs

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The big event today according to Swedish media is the informal meeting of EU top leaders in the city of Gothenburg (in Sweden). The city is called “besieged city” in local media, because of expected traffic problems and security measures. I read: “The police have weeks before today asked the public to stay home during Thursday and Friday, if possible. Those who have to work are encouraged to go collectively first and foremost”.

Denmark has kindly has lent a number of policemen to help Sweden out with the safety measures.

Because of this workarounds causing common people problems, the left wing party leader Jonas Sjöstedt has been critical to the place for the meeting: “Closed schools and health centers, lots of police and locked streets in Gothenburg. Had it not been better to collect the EU leaders at any mountain hotel somewhere instead of centrally located in Sweden’s second largest city?” (translated from Twitter by me)

This his “any mountain hotel somewhere” gives me a vision this party leader may not only share some opinions with me, but also like me have a very limited knowledge about the North in Sweden, its nature, culture and people… 😦

Hosts for the meeting are the Swedish Prime Minister Stefan Löfven and Jean-Claude Juncker, the President of the European Commission. Angela Merkel will not be there, but the golden boy Emmanuel Macron will be, as the charming smiling Theresa May with the hard finger grip (on Brexit) … and more European leaders –  like Marianne Thyssen, Belgium’s EU Commissioner for Employment, Labor Market Mobility, Expertise and Social Affairs.

And that’s what the meeting is about: Jobs, Justice and Growth

No decision will be made regarding new binding rules. But a document will signed.

Background for the discussion is the so-called social pillar, which was set by the ministers in October. After lunch on Friday, the “Social Pillar” will be signed by the EU’s three legislative institutions, the Commission, the Council and Parliament. The “Social Pillar” contains twenty principles for the rights of EU citizens, especially in the labor market. These include the right to education, lifelong learning, gender equality and “fair pay”. (translated by me from the Swedish newspaper Dagens Nyheter)

The lunch will be a soup of Jerusalem artichoke as a starter, cod as the main course and berries for dessert.

IF – I just say “if”  – the meeting would have been on an empty-for- season hotel in the North, the lunch may have had a starter with a fish soup of Arctic Char, Sautéed reindeer as main course and for dessert cloudberry jam with coffee cake.

Check it on:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saut%C3%A9ed_reindeer

https://thejolipantry.com/2015/12/10/kaffeost-coffee-cheese/

IF  – “if” – the meeting would have taken place in northern Sweden, people abroad may have found that the Swedish state still this year and this month fight against the indigenous people Sami. It’s about legal rights, land and language. How to make a living.

The lawyer representing the Swedish government used in making his case the word “lapp” about the Same people. It’s like a lawyer in Amerika would call black people “niggers” in court and defend the word as it is a traditional word for this ethnic group and he’s only quoting!

Swedish governments’ persistently refuses to sign the UN Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples. Why?

I have never been in this part of Sweden so I have not much more knowledge than this now told. The Sami is of tradition a nomadic people living on cattle of reindeer as main occupation and much of the Sami culture is connected to this. I’m a vegetarian so I would hardly enjoy to visit a Sami village, really.

Though I think Sweden as a country should stop discriminate the Sami people and the state should stop wasting tax money on endless trials in court decades after decades against of a small unique people we should be proud to have within our borders.

So to place the meeting in Gothenburg no matter some inconveniences in the traffic and not on a hotel in North Sweden was safer for the Swedish government and its Ministers. Actually. But I don’t think they have in mind today we have a Sami people.

http://samer.se/

https://www.svd.se/staten-fortsatter-kalla-samer-lappar-i-ny-rattegang

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Broccoli

Oh, I’m so bored having no one to talk to
But when you’re surprisingly calling me
all you say is just annoying me
If you only have broccoli in your head and
not a brain, talk to another vegetable

 

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You don’t have to be to be killed for me nowadays, Piggy!

A note only as it is World Diabetes Day today November 14.

In the 20s scientists developed insulin for medical use, saving life of those with Type 1 diabetes. For a vegetarian (like me) being against using animals in scientific experiments and have had dogs earlier in life, it gives me mixed feelings to read about the first inventions. The scientists namely used a lot of dogs for their experiments. When insulin became developed to be a medicine for humans it was made of pig fetuses. One can just speculate how many animals were killed for getting insulin for human use! Mass killing indeed. Since the 80s patients are given synthetic insulin.

Thank god for that!

As I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes the year 2015 – and after more than one and half year of misery because my body could not cope with medications in tablet form, I’m now on insulin injections. And I’m doing fine. But please notice, I’m not one of those saying: “nowadays when we have insulin we can eat the same food as healthy people”. I keep a diet.

But I will not argue about food and what to eat or not, just say “Hi Piggy sweet nose, you don’t have to be conceived to be killed as a fetus for me now”.

It is not that easy to find anything on internet about how insulin is manufactured. Surfing on the internet it always ends up sites telling how insulin is produced in the human body. But finally I found this link through diabetesforecast.org which telling how insulin is produced as a pharmaceutical in the pharmaceutical industry.

diabetesforecast.org/2013/jul/making-insulin.html

Quote from this site: “In the days of pork insulin, it took more than 2 tons of pig parts to produce 8 ounces of purified insulin.”

8 ounces is about 226, 8 gram!!

In Sweden, insulin and the equipment for using it for free. It’s a luck as having only a low-income pension, I wouldn’t otherwise afford to live with such a serious and demanding illness.

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We have a love thing going

In retro perspective dreams are just memories of time we wasted on what might be nothing. Dreams belongs to and are seated in our futures, but for what purposes? Only to keep us struggling on in the now? Or is it any other meaning with them, tell me?

We had a love thing going,
he and I and we were both
dreaming of the other. But
it wasn’t the same dream.

We talked tenderly
in dark nights, while
we at the daytime tried
to balanced our different
lives like tightrope walkers.

And we put the other in trust
to keep believing that one day
we would share the same warm
blanket on this cold place people
calls Mother Earth.

Thus we smiled all time, although
deep down we were so unhappy.
Were we then foolish or brave?
As we wasted our lives on what
might never will come true?
All that time that’s past?

And it is true I’ve tried to flee him,
but love is a mystery you can’t rule.
My rational mind cant’t defeat our
rebellious hearts and desires.

We have a love thing, he and I and
we still dream about the other one.
I am his dream and he is mine.

Arthur Rackham THE-FAIRIES-ARE-EXQUISITE-DANCERS (cropped image)

 

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The lyrics to “Lady Of The Rose” sung by Emmylou Harris 1970

Emmylou Harris Lady Of The Rose 1970

This is a song from Emmylou Harris  youth. I don’t know if she is the songwriter. A video of an event with her on a TV show  1970 was published on Youtube this year.

She never recorded this song. And the lyrics seems not to be found on internet either. So I have spent hours listening to her singing and written down her words and compiled it to a text as it might once was written.

Hair comb with flowers bridesmaid hairstyles

I have no license to publish the video here, so those interested in hearing her sing the lyrics  must go to YouTube and search for Emmylou Harris “Lady Of The Rose”  and Fugue For The Ox” 1970. Or you can copy this link:

youtube.com/watch?v=L3IfU1b-kmY

It’s a pity she never recorded this song and if anyone know her, ask her so kindly “please do!” It’s such a strong and sentimental and beautiful song – simply amazing.

 

 

I know Sophie, she lives upstairs
and sometimes she combs it down,
her long graying hair.

And she wears it gathered loosely up,
pin back with a rose, whose petals are
turning black and beginning to fall.

Don’t talk of where life goes, she won’t
understand, she pretend she can’t hear
you, though you know that she can.

Oh, everyone has tried to teach her
to say “goodbye”, but she just can’t
stand it when the roses die.

And her eyes are lost children that wait
for him from the morning to the day to
the lights are dim.

And the nights must be long and lonely
more than I never know, she just won’t
let the roses go.

He’s not in the backyard, he’s not in
the hall and she can’t hear his laughter,
he’s not there anymore.

So she waits and waits and waits for
nothing, but in her heart she knows
that it’s gone and gone forever and it
tears apart her soul.

So I leave my Sophie with her dying rose,
I can’t reach you with all your doors and
when those closed.

But I wonder if I ever loved the way
you do and have it break me the way
it’s broken you?

Emmylou Harris 2006

 

Emmylou Harris Gothenburg Sweden 2017

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Sadness is a seven letters word

 

 

 

Sadness is a seven letters word. Seven
black drops dirt your skin and you rub
and rub to clean it off you, but you can
still see there are remains of the stains.

Some people are just like living under
a leaking roof. They constantly drips
black sadness over you.

If you can’t get the leaking ceiling fixed,
you should not stay under it. You know.
But maybe you want to stay because of
love? Or whatever you call it?

He always told “I love you”, but why was
he then like a seven letters spelled word?

 

 

 

 

 

He made her sad and maybe it is bad,
but who cares why an old woman cry?
She should simply lay down and die.

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November haiku

In dim November
I rest in your breathing
My nest in dark nights

Dunkla november
vilar jag i din andning
Mitt bo i natten


Posted in Attraction, Autumn poem, darkness, love poem, poem in English and Swedish, poem in Swedish and English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

For the sake of love

 

 

 

 

When love is over and you
have blown and then blown
once more on cooled embers,
for the sake of love,
for the sake of love,
for the sake of love,
but see there’s no spark more
in your heart for the other one
and you start to go backwards
through the door, slowly and
with care, as you do not want
to hurt when you leave; your
bitter tasting sadness will be
to learn that to break up and
leave can’t be done painlessly.
What you now do in honesty
and freedom will hurt the one
you once loved most of all, but
not do anymore. We all have
blood on our hands.

 

 

 

När kärleken har tagit slut
och du har blåst och blåser
ännu en gång på kallnad glöd,
för kärleks skull,
för kärleks skull,
för kärleks skull,
att så inse att där finns ingen
gnista mer i ditt hjärta för den
andre och du börjar backa ut
genom dörren, långsamt och
försiktigt då du inte vill såra
när du går – bittersmakande
sorg kommer att lära dig att
bryta upp och lämna inte låter
sig göras smärtfritt. Vad du nu
gör i ärlighet och frihet sårar
den som du en gång älskade
mest av allt, men inte gör mer.
Vi har alla blod på våra händer.

 

 

 

 

 

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Things are not what they should be

In Swedish below

It is the seventh of November and the sun shines like a madman through my south windows. It has been for a week now, November and this sunny madness. November should be nothing but a gray and dull month. You shall wake up in the morning and it’s gray out there, outside the windows. And you should be tired and struggling with yourself to start the day to be a good one in society – or a good one at least in your private little kitchen corner.

Our famous president – please God, let new times come soon – said about one of his guys, being criticized, “he make money, what’s wrong with that? He make money, folk!”

Yes, if it was about having a normal job which supported himself and his/hers family and giving a future for them, okay! But it’s about another “make money” and the thing is when people get bloody rich, there are always others who have to pay for it.

It is not being a good man, whether in a personal or social perspective.

It is not enough to say “Hallelujah!” on a Sunday in the church. You have to do the hallelujah on Monday as well.

Everyone has the right to have an opinion. Even in Spain. (?) But all that’s not illegal to do is not right to do.

art performance by Mattias Norström

 

Tax planning is a big thing in Sweden. We have plenty of wealthy people in Sweden who are taxing abroad and create even more wealth than they already have.

Add then the wages they have for their managerial jobs.

 

Investigate journalists have examined how “famous” people have invested their money.

Leif Östling Chairman for “Svenskt Näringsliv”

One of these very wealthy people with leading power positions in Sweden that has been “revealed” by the media is Leif Östling. He is the chairman of the organization “Svenskt Näringsliv.( In translating = Swedish Enterprise, it’s an organization representing private companies in Sweden.)

 

 

He is one of the Swedes who have used Malta’s tax paradise to avoid Swedish taxation.

Now he is criticized for – not for his actions per se, but what he said about it, interviewed on Swedish Public Service TV.

Quotes from the intervju:

Leif Östling: I don’t have a bad conscience for that. I think I’ve done right for me in Sweden more than most others. I have paid for at least a thousand taxpayers. (…)

Leif Östling: People are planning and looking over their finances. There is a problem with the Swedish tax system, that there are so insanely high taxes in this country. (…)

Journalist question: You are chairman of “Svenskt Näringsliv”, how do you think about social responsibility and taxes?

Leif Östling: I think I have taken a lot of social responsibility. I have always paid taxes in Sweden for everything I have earned in this country.

After the interview, Leif Östling calculates how much tax he has paid and sends the information to Swedish TV (SVT). It’s about SEK 180 million in Sweden and Germany, only since 2010. He writes that he chooses to count from 2010 because it was the year he reached common pensioner age of 65, but instead of slow down, he continued to work and pay taxes. He was head of, among other things, Scania in the Volkswagen Group until he was 70 years old.

Journalist question: If you have paid all that taxe money, why not pay in full and do the right thing in Sweden for just what you have?

Leif Östling: No, why then? Now we have this structure is here, so let it be here.

Journalist question: What does it mean for the society if every individual only looks for his own best in this matter?

Leif Östling: Yes, there is always an egoism in everything. One can also ask if you pay 20-30 million SEK a year, what the hell do I get for that money?

Journalist question: Do you get nothing for the money, you mean?

Leif Östling: Not much. (laughs)

(end of quotes)

He has been hard criticized in the media for what he said in the interview. Even by leaders in business and his own acquaintances: it can damage the corporate image, they say.

So the man is criticized for saying what he honestly thinks, not for his actions in the tax matters. Which are – as all the rich people point out – not illegal!

I think it’s bloody good people are honest about their real opinions. This in itself creates a better social climate. We should all know where we have each other! I don’t like his views, but I appreciate he tells me what he really think. So give the man praise for his honesty!

Now this, he says that he has paid so much money that he has paid for a thousand taxpayers counted in crowns – the truth is that much more than a thousand low-income earners have paid for his wealth! Get real, man!

And what does he get for the money, he asks? A well-functioning infrastructure without which no company can exist, that is what he get and demand of the society he despises.

I have worked as an underpaid healthcare provider and I have fed and washed the ass on old and sick people like him. When people grow old, poor or rich, the body organs breaks down, one by one. You poop in your pants out of your control – and (once again) a woman clean up after you and wash your butt, just like a baby. A woman feeds you again like you were a baby. Your bed is cleaned and physicians’ gathers around your bed to provide you with the best care and pain relief that can be, no matter how much money you’ve hidden abroad from Swedish society.

Rich Swedish people settles in Spain and Portugal when they becomes pensioners but still are healthy. Then, when they get very old and need care, they return to Sweden for free cancer care and other public care.

 

No ** go to one of the Cayman Islands and bury yourselves on a beach in the sand.
Shame on you!

In November sun at the end of the year, it is 2017!

We are born naked alike. And death does not differ the poor from the rich. But too many dies unnecessarily of poverty and misery. Because the sun does not shine equally – not even in November in the year 2017! We have not yet as one humanity accomplished better than a few percent of all people owns everything of everything and the overwhelming majority owns nothing, not even their basic needs.

 

Right now as I write this, an old and big building in Stockholm is burning. It’s a house there only very rich can afford to live. Tax-funded 6 fire brigades work hard to extinguishes the fire. The entire area is blocked and people evacuated by police and fire brigades. That’s what Östling and all others gets for the tax money.

Big fire in Stockholm November 7, 2017

In Swedish below:

 

 

 

 

SAKER OCH TING ÄR INTE VAD DE BORDE VARA

Det är den sjunde november och solen skiner som en galning genom mina söder fönster. Det har pågått en vecka nu, november och sol. November ska bara vara en grå och glåmig månad. Du vaknar på morgonen och det är grått därute, utanför fönstren. Du ska vara trött och kämpa att kunna börja dagen och vara en duktig en i samhället, eller därhemma i köksvrån.

Vår berömde president – get the new times come soon – sa om en sina gubbar, kritiserad, “he makes money, what’s wrong with that? He makes money!”

Ja, om det handlade om ett vanligt jobb där han försörjde sig själv och familjen och sin framtid, okay! Men det handlar om helt andra “make money” och grejen är när folk gör sig förmögna, det är alltid andra som får betala för det.

Det är inte att vara en duktig människa vare sig i ett personligt eller samhälleligt perspektiv.

Det räcker inte med att säga “Halleluja!” på en söndag i kyrkan. Du måste göra halleluja på måndagen också.

Alla har rätt till att ha en opinion. Även i Spanien. (?) Allt som är lagligt att göra är inte rätt.

Skatteplanering är en stor sak i Sverige. Vi har gott om förmögna personer i Sverige som skattar utomlands och skapar ännu större förmögenheter än de redan har.

Lägg till lönerna de har för sina ledarjobb.

Grävande journalister har undersökt hur “kända” personer har investerat sina pengar.

En av dessa förmögna människor med ledande maktpositioner i Sverige som har “avslöjats” av media heter Leif Östling. Han är ordförande för organisationen “Svenskt Näringsliv”.

Han är en av de svenskar som har utnyttjat Maltas skatte paradis för att undvika svensk beskattning.

Nu är han kritiserad för – inte för sitt handlande per se, men vad han sagt om det, intervjuad on TV.

citat:

Leif Östling: Jag har inte dåligt samvete för det. Jag tycker jag har gjort rätt för mig i Sverige mer än de flesta andra. Jag har betalat för minst tusen skattebetalare, säger han.

Leif Östling: Folk har ju planering och ser över sin ekonomi. Det är ett problem med det svenska skattesystemet, att det är så vansinnigt höga skatter i det här landet, säger Leif Östling.

Journalist fråga: Du är ju ordförande i Svenskt Näringsliv, hur tycker du man ska se på det här med samhällsansvar och skatter?

Leif Östling: Jag tycker jag har tagit väldigt stort samhällsansvar. Jag har alltid betalat skatt i Sverige på allting som jag har tjänat i det här landet, säger Leif Östling.

Efter intervjun räknar Leif Östling själv ihop hur mycket skatt han har betalat, och mejlar uträkningen till SVT. Det handlar om 180 miljoner kronor i Sverige och Tyskland, bara sedan 2010. Han skriver att han väljer att räkna från 2010 därför att det var det år han blev folkpensionär, men i stället för att trappa ner fortsatte jobba och betala skatt. Han var chef för bland annat Scania i Volkswagenkoncernen tills han fyllde 70 år.

Journalistfråga: Om man nu har betalat all den där skatten, varför inte betala helt och hållet och göra rätt för sig i Sverige för precis allt man har?

Leif Östling: Nej, varför då? Nu finns den här strukturen där, och då får den ligga där.

Journalistfråga: Vad betyder det för samhället om varje individ bara ser till sitt eget bästa i den här frågan?

Leif Östling: Ja det finns ju alltid en egoism i det hela. Man frågar sig också, betalar man in 20-30 miljoner om året, vad fan får jag för pengarna?

Journalistfråga: Får du inget för pengarna menar du?

Leif Östling: Inte mycket. (Skrattar)

https://www.svt.se/nyheter/granskning/ug/svenskt-naringslivs-ordforande-har-formogenhet-utomlands

Han har senare blivit hårt kritiserad i media för vad han sa i intervjun. Även av toppar inom näringslivet och hans egna bekanta: det kan skada företagens image, menar man.

Så karln blir kritiserad för att säga vad han ärligt tycker, inte för sitt agerande i skattefrågor. Som alla rika säger: det är ju inte olagligt!

Jag tycker att det är skitbra att folk är ärliga om sina åsikter. Det i sig skapar ett bättre samhällsklimat. Vi bör veta var vi har varandra! Jag gillar inte hans åsikter, men jag uppskattar att han berättar för mig vad han verkligen tycker. Så ge mannen beröm för hans ärlighet!

Sedan detta att han säger att han har betalat så mycket pengar att han i kronor betalat för tusen skattebetalare – sanningen är ju att mer än tusen låginkomsttagare har betalat för hans förmögenhet.

Och vad får han för pengarna? En väl fungerande infrastruktur utan vilket inget företag kan existera. Vilket han som företagare kräver av det samhälle han utnyttjar och föraktar.

Jag har jobbat som underbetald sjukvårdare och matat och tvättat rumpan på såna som han. När folk blir gamla, fattig eller rik, pajar kroppens organ en efter en. Du skiter i byxorna och en kvinna torkar återigen upp din avföring och tvättar dig ren, som en gång bebis. En kvinna matar dig igen så som du var bebis. Din säng bäddas och läkare samlas runt din säng för att ge dig bästa möjliga vård, oavsett hur mycket pengar du har snott från det svenska samhället.

Rika svenskar bosätter sig i Spanien och Portugal när de ännu är friska pensioner. När de sedan blir riktigt gamla och behöver vård, då kommer de tillbaka till Sverige för fri cancervård och annan omsorg.

Nä för fan, åk till nån av Caymanöarna och begrav er i sanden. Skäms!

Novembersol vid årets slut:

Vi föds nakna lika. Döden skiljer inte på fattig och rik. Men somliga dör i onödan av fattigdom och misär. För solen skiner inte lika över alla ens i november 2017. Längre än så har vi som en mänsklighet inte kommit ännu. Några få av alla människor äger allt av allt och majoriteten äger ingenting och får inte sina mest grundläggande behov tillgodosedda.

 

Se vidare

https://www.dn.se/ekonomi/jag-hade-inte-valt-att-gora-den-typen-av-upplagg-och-den-typen-av-kommentarer/

https://www.svd.se/ostling-emot-lagstiftning-om-sankta-loner-for-nyanlanda

Östling är emot lönedumpning och föreslår subventionerade löner, dvs. löner betalda av det offentliga (staten) för jobb i privat näringsliv.

Just nu brinner ett rikemanshus i Stockholm. Av skatter finansierad brandkår släcker. Det är vad Östling får för pengarna.

Posted in become old, borders, create life, living in the world, morality, My Swedish Corner, poems by vonnely, politics, reading, relationships, Sweden view, Swedish conditions, web papers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fear

Even though I fell away you were there
when I returned, reticent as ever before.
But the following night an anxiety dream
aroused me and I could not sleep more.
I thought of you and I felt fear for you.
Will we ever make our love work?

Posted in create life, dreamers, love poem, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, rebellious lovers, relationships, repression and borders, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Baby, I got soul today!

Time change the last weekend! Yet I woke up
this Saturday much later than usually. The sun
shone like a desperado through the windows,
like tossing in its light in big buckets! I stayed
dazzled in my bed for another hour thinking
“what a wonderful day to sing blues higher
than my madman to neighbor and just feeling
fine!” Then I had my first coffee and sandwich
as a late lunch and with a big blanket wrapped
around me. Just a blink later it was pitch black
outdoors – and a big full moon but hidden! It’s
November and it’s All Souls Day. And yes! I miss
you still, I always will! But baby: I got soul today!

 

 

 

Posted in Autumn poem, create life, inspiring music, light, loneliness, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A love story in summary

First you got me miss you
Then you got me love you
You indeed got me to sing
Ending, you got me crying

 

 

Posted in Attraction, heartache, inspiring music, loneliness, loss, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

We travel on the same bus in different worlds

I had such dreams latest night! Just before
I woke up I dreamt I was on a bus full with
other people and I was in company with a
person whom I’m not comfortable to deal
with. I know her only in her profession. In
reality. So why would I dream about her?

In my dream the woman had an illness requiring
her careful treatment during our travel. I realized
then she actually had very little time to assist me.
We travelled on the same bus but under different
conditions. Then I locked at the other passengers:
we who all were on the same bus, the same route!

And I came to think there must be almost as many
stories about this same travel in this same bus with
this same route as people participating in it. Almost,
as one or another might were somewhere else lost in
dreams with only their bodies present with us. Only
they can perceive and tell about their true travels.
We travel on the same bus but in different worlds.

“Jesse Stone” (character in crime movies) and his dog

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then awake and sitting on the bedside I thought:

“You try and you try and try until you can’t
try anymore. Then you realize your last tries
was more denials than to restore what you
have lost. But you simply had no label for all
efforts you made and failed in the other one.
A label to live with to move on with your life.”

“Jesse Stone”

I called you twice on phone recently but you
disconnected my calls without answering me.
I have tried and tried. You didn’t. We’re done.

Huffington post The poorhouse Dim daylight cast from bare window reveals hat-clad old man sitting patiently on old iron bed as he waits for mealtime at poorhouse in Perry County. (Photo by Wallace Kirkland//Time Life Pictures/Getty Images)

Comment: I always get into an inner conflict when I’m dealing with professionals whom I meet for treatments. Because you come to see them as a subject with a reason and in the next minute you’re an object, getting a label and then you get a treatment for what goes in under that labeling. The rest of you and all you called “I” and “me” only a moment ago is thrown in a ditch like an abandoned baby. And it’s like I’m the only lonely one having this childish reaction!But I certainly don’t want to lose my face too. So I usually pretend I’m comfortable; nice and polite on the surface towards the other one, the professional…

Though in your personal life you’re labeling the phenomena in the world around you too, to be able to handle your life. Despite my intellectual understanding about this, I still not react more “mature” in a client situation. And to dream about a professional I meet in my awake life is just a bit too much, it’s what I think!

Posted in "culture", armed loneliness, body image, create life, dreamers, living in the world, loss, maturity, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, prose poem, Short prose, walk of life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Vad som är lycka skiftar (About happiness)

Vad som är lycka skiftar. Lycka för mig nu
skulle vara att bara hålla dig in mina armar,
uppleva den tunga massan av din kropp och
dess levande värme och känna hur ditt hjärta
slår mot mitt hjärta och andas dina andetag.
Bara det, och jag skulle vara helt lycklig!

What is happiness varies. Happiness to me
now would be to just hold you in my arms
and experience the heavy mass of your body
and its living warmth and to sense how your
heart beats against my heart and to breathe
your breath. Just that and I would be happy.

 

 

Posted in Attraction, dreamers, loneliness, love poem, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Chocolate and roses

 

 

The Basque (The Kiss) by Francesco Hayez 1859

 

 

 

If you give me chocolate
I’ll give you a kiss, tasted
If you give me roses, red
I’ll give you my true heart
unlimited, if you love me
as before – oh, you don’t!

 

 

 

Posted in grief, heartache, loss, love poem, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it”

John 1:5 “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it”

After the last killings, Manhattan October 31, 2017, I felt such an overwhelming tiredness coming over me when I heard it on the news. It comes again and again and year after year, these mass murders. And then the day after media shows a photo of some strange fellow looking odd and weird.  This last loser says has shouted “God is greater” when he left his vehicle.

But God said “Do I know you? No, I don’t think so!”

It’s All Saints Day today in Sweden. No, not “Halloween”! That’s a kind of American carnival custom imported into Sweden and I like other “old fashioned” Swedes dislikes it.

Church Röke Sweden

I like the image of a deserted graveyard at night when all gone home after traditional have decorated the graves with wreaths and lighted candles. It is an image revealing I have a romantic mind  – because I have never seen such a view at night time in reality and I have never decorated any graves either. Not as I lack deceased relatives who would have appreciate this kind of remembrance. But none of them rest in a graveyard nearby  me, but are all far and outspread over the country – and further more, my past it just depressing stuff I’ve just cut it off.

But why do we celebrate saints, when we have not been Catholics since the 1500s? Well, because we think it is “All souls day” we celebrate. But “All souls day” is actually the day after. Yes, I’ve spent the day surfing for knowledge online now again. 🙂

It’s also “World Vegan Day” today, instituted 1994 by Louise Wallis, Chairman of the Vegan Society UK to draw attention to the vegan way of life and recall the founding of the world’s first vegan association Vegan Society UK, formed in November 1944 by Donald Watson. Watson was also the one who coined the concept of vegan. (all information from Wikipedia).

More Wikipedia: Speaking in 2011, Louise Wallis said: “We knew the Society had been founded in November 1944 but didn’t know the exact date, so I decided to go for 1 November, partly because I liked the idea of this date coinciding with Samhain/Halloween and the Day of the Dead – traditional times for feasting and celebration, both apt and auspicious.”

Well? That’s just sick! 😦

I’m not a vegan, but I’ve been a lacto-vegetarian since the midst of the 70s. It’s a very long time! And “old fashioned” as I am I don’t even eat food called vegan-bacon or vegan-ham, only the name gives me nausea. 😦

But I eat dark chocolate for example… And  meanwhile I do that I will daydream in the darkness in this cold November, now beginning!

Don’t forget:
John 1:5 “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it”

 

 

Posted in create life, darkness, dreamers, food, living in the world, past, poems by vonnely, sadness, web papers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Online friends, good and bad ones

I have been a member on a pen pal site to and fro since 2011. I have met a few friends for life there, as Anne from England – a very nice lady now 76 years old. We been friends for 6 years now. And I have met Mohamed  from Morocco on that site, though who at the moment is not talking to me. But it his choice. I still love this stubborn friend. Still fire certainly dies without oxygen. It’s sad. But “sad” does not mean being badly harmed getting scars for life.

This following is a telling how I today been reminded of people who really harmed me, giving me scars and  changed my view of people and world in a negative way. But I’m not sure if I can put the bad experiences into words, it’s not easy to express painful emotions in prose.

I have met some more friends than those two mentioned above that was real and true people. For some reasons and I don’t remember why now with time we lost contact. A few years ago I had pretty much online friends. Not so now. You discover with time it’s not easy to meet true people and lasting friendship online. The saying “you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince” applies well for trying to find true friends online. All those hundreds and hundreds of fakes and scammers I’ve met during the years to be lucky to meet only a handful good people – it’s just terrible!

As said, I have a membership on a pen pal site since 2011.  I have deleted my Profile sometimes, not depending on lack of interest from my side, but because of the overwhelming number of scammers and sexual abusers on this site. The most of them are what’s called romance scammer. Some want money, some looking for sexual meetings. And some are nothing but sexual abusers.

They are actually at times so many of bad people on this particular pen pal site I wonder how those bad apples ever find it profitable to hunt there?

Regular professional scammers are for the most American middle age men. One of them calling himself “Bill” succeeded to really fool me during a couple of weeks. I thought I had met a serious man and could see the possibility of a common future together. “Silly me”?

That positive impression and friendship died instantly when he asked me to put some money on his bank account!

The most fraudsters though are just clumsy amateurs, mostly a kind of romance scammer outside Europe  not asking for money. They are looking to take advantage of a white and older and lonely woman –  like me  – living inside the EU, falsely believing a marriage with a European citizen would give them visa and a better future.

But so stupidly foolish the Swedish migration authority has never been – and nowadays it’s out of question to get a visa to Sweden as the borders since 2016 in practice are closed. Even serious relationships are denied such applications. Even foreigners with a job in Sweden for years back, a stable home and children born in Sweden are expelled without any mercy. It’s terrible, but still another story.

Some men from some countries are more characteristic than others to mistreat women. Men from India, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh for example. They have a manner to talk to women as we are ignorant morons.

Some American and some European men do that too, certainly. They are just not as active and many on this online site as men from Asia and Africa. I don’t know much about them as they start with flirting and I’m just not interested in such and delete them. Except for that “Bill” guy then, who seemed so sympathetic at first … Cleaver devil… 😦

It took a while to regain my wounded pride and self esteem after I had blocked him, but it was all it was about it with that bad adventure. He was a professional romance scammer, but there was no sorrow for a lost love in my heart. Thank God for that! 🙂

Apple basket, oil painting Russell Gordon born 1968

I have had contacts with some guys from a couple of Arabic countries. But nowadays I mostly avoid people from those countries too. Because there a too many bad apples in those baskets.

But it’s shocking – a whole generation young Moroccans men want to leave their country, because the lack of good future opportunities there. And so then – we have all those young Moroccans who sudden falls in love in an old woman like me.

(I’m not talking now about my special friend from the same country! There are too many white west people talking shit about Muslims and Arabs just because they are just that, but don’t try that racist talk with me. I hate it as much as I hate Arabs talking shit about black Africans and condemn homosexuality.)

I guess everyone knows about the flood of Moroccans who have come to Europe for a future here. It’s not easy to legal come to Europe. Some succeed better than others – as they have nothing at all to lose. We have about 800 underground living children living in Sweden coming from Morocco, most of them sleeping on the street and addicted to drugs. Some of them are as young as 8 to 10 years old. They have never been in a school or been in a normal home and are very violent, able to kill for a cookie.

But back to “my” pen pal site and its members – people from Algeria are very special  too. Not at all like guys from their brother country. The Algerians (on this site!) are not so much looking for coming to Europe. They may be more informed then people in their brother land? What they want is to have some romance in life, living in a strict Muslim country. If it includes meeting with tourists and/or online sex – they are “open-minded”. But the most I can say about them is they are/were (I avoid them now) very often so rude and bad mannered! Why, I don’t know – but to my experience, if they don’t get what they want from you, they just tell you things you never read before. You just can’t believe your eyes reading those insults, it’s just so ridiculous you can’t take it seriously…

Yes, and some of them have not only bad manners, they are simply sex abusers. Like Abdou. But Abou is firstly a professional scammer. My whole telling is about this Abdou guy who had the nerve to contact me now again.

The last I had contact with this Algerian guy was in beginning of spring 2015. I was lonely and still sad as my friend Mohamed had the year before stopped writing without any reason.  It was first time he exposed me for his later so famous withdrawn silences, impossible to live with. But we hardly knew each other then, so it was strange for me I missed him so much. I think there was a loss of some  female friends from Europe and the US too at that particular time.

Hugo vad der Goes (ca 1440 – 1498) The fall of Adam and Eve

And I had shortly met  a couple of those so very rude guys from Algeria. So I was determined not to let those two give a whole country a bad reputation. And I really needed someone nice person to chat with. So I was an open door for a skillful and professional scammer like Abdou. And he was so extremely good looking too! Wow!

But of all bad guys I met on internet, he’s the worst!

He had simply found a way to make a living by scam women online. He never looked for support from others or complained for having no job. No, he was busy all days with all kind of small jobs, including to also sell himself for sex. Maybe the frustration he declared of that last – get paid for sex –  made him to a sexual predator? But I doubt it, he was a charming sociopath who enjoyed being cruel to people.

I willingly admit I’ve been naive during my time on internet as I did not understood how bad people online can be. And for those men who told me they had romantic feelings for me I have had a foolish strategy too I now regret. Instead for just delete them I told them I gave them a chance to proof they were honest in their romantic aspirations. I was thinking time will show the right coat on this creature. It was crazy, I should not have done that. But it certainly gave me material to many poems.

Laura de Noves,, the muse of Petrarch

For a very high cost my experiences latest years made me to a romantic poet, same kind as Petrarch. It’s a genre, chic lit poetry, not really personal confessions as some read them as. I hardly remember now my muses. That was it was then.

With exception for a man called “Mr Goodman” that I actually met online and had a romance with during autumn 2011 to summer 2014 as well as now with my mute friend Mohamed.

I am a lonely  person. But I was never looking for romances. All I wanted was to get some real friends and to learn to write good English. And now I write in English. And I have a blog. I have my friend Anne in England. Maybe one more?

I was never aware about those unpleasant experiences online in reality were sexual abuses. It was first earlier this year when I heard on the TV news a guy in Sweden was prosecuted and sentenced to jail for internet rape and sexual harassment online I got the insight what really I had been exposed to  – as well.

Now today two years after I blocked this Abdou, he writes me again! It was quite a shock! The worst is he call himself now “The Berber Prince”, what a dishonor for all berber!

I go again some new  penpal friends and they were horrified over my relationship with this guy and told me to block him. And it ended very badly this “friendship” with Abdou, as we chatted on Skype and he used to tell me what he wanted to do with me sexually. Normal sex was nothing for him, what he wanted was to brutalize women with violent anal sex. He claimed women liked to be violated and liked pains. And believe it or not – I argued with him about it! Too often he just logged in as coming home drunk and wanted to masturbate in front of me. If he did I don’t know as I used to log of when he began to talk too dirty. It made him furious, he let me know when we chatted next time… He wanted me to apologize! When I didn’t he got pissed off for that. Yes, it became real ugly!

Meg Ryan “You’ve got mail” 1998

Yet sometimes I was not aware of the deceptive behavior going on while we still talked. As I asked him once why he did not looked in the camera and he told me the reason he did not looked at me was he had another screen watching porn while chatting with me. And then he showed me this second screen he was looking at. He was watching porn at the same time he talked to me  – and now he wanted me to watch the porn with him! Luckily I could not see a thing was happened on that other screen, but only be told got me log off for that night.

He lived with his parents as many guys in Arabic countries. It was a mystery for me as I got the impression his parents were nice godly Muslim people. I asked what they said about him coming home badly drunk on Friday’s as he did every week. He got a cruel expression in his face and simply said to me they were to wise to challenge him. If they would even dare, he would teach them better, he said. I understood he was a dangerous person.

Yes, but I felt safe, living many thousand kilometers away. Writing my blog far away I handled it all.  So I thought. It feels like this bad “friendship” was going on for a pretty long time, but it was not. It lasted for only a few weeks, much less than two months.

I think the cruelty in his behavior towards me came at first when he realized he spent time creating a relationship with a poor woman without any money. His plan was simply I would travel to Tunisia and we would spend time together there. At my expense. Now realizing this was not possible he still kept in touch to “keep me” for sexual harassment.

Again, as Algeria is far from Sweden I felt safe. I handled him with my writing. I really believed that his sexualition of reality was a challenge and I wanted to be able to write about anything, though I’m shy in person. So my poetry became more sexually oriented too. I wanted to beat him on his own area, but give a female point of view. And I planned to write a novel. To get even. It never came to be written. And I almost forgot him after I had blocked him.

It sounds strange to me now. Why did I spend time with a criminal? In my “real” physical world I would never do that. And sometimes I think all the years I spend on this pen pal site is just a big loss, as the emotional costs has been too high for me. Yet I have learned a lot about other cultures, about the common homophobia in Africa and how racist white people in west still are –  and I have learned to write in English.

During this years I became a blogger. I can’t regret that.

But again; was it worth it? I have asked myself that many times the last two years. I wrote poetry as young and in Swedish. I regained my poetry writing thanks to my online friends, both the good ones and the bad ones. And my blog – I would for anything want to refrain it. Not my many years of friendship with Anne either who I also met on this pen pal site, not to forget! Not with my love for this man now who don’t talk to me more (“forever” huh!)

People urged me back then to end up with this guy as he was dangerous. I did not listen to them. I felt save up in my little Nordic country. It ended one day as I was on my way walking to an appointment with my dental hygienist. I was nervous and scared for the treatment – and sudden I realized I was more afraid for this friendly and kind little woman who are my dental hygienist – about 1,60 m and 55 kg in her thirties and named Eva – than I was for this big abusive gangster, named Abdou. Finally I understood what my other online friends told me for long, this was crazy and strange: I allowed this man to violate me. And then after home again I blocked him.

And today he wrote me under another Profile!!! I blocked him without answer. Easy. But I lost my good mood for the rest of day remembering all that bad stuff that once was.

But I keep the white rose and my pink pen.

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Diamond love

I’m old, my feet hurts and I can
hardly walk and surely not run.
But my heart is in good shape,
my doctors told and my brain is
better than ever before, you will
find out. If you want to catch me
I’m easy to get. And I might be
easy to fool too my lonely heart
to blame. But I have carats and
fiddlers play me just a while and
not for long. I’m a diamond true,
if you treat me right. I don’t mind
your color. But you have to have
some carats too like I have and
show me clarity. I’m old, did I say
that? Yes, but true diamond love
is forever and has no age.

 

 

 

 

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Bugs (essentials)

The overwhelming amount of testimony (#metoo) that has become to a landslide that so many women and girls throughout the world have suffered all kind of insults from scornful sexist comments (called jokes!), to grabbing and other kind of daily life physical abuses and to rapes. The daily violations of women have under decades been normalized, so if one woman complains she becomes mocked (at best) or kicked out of work and/or ostracized (at worst). And those people around who denies that these bad experiences occurs are both men and women. We have the bullies and the perpetrators and we have the surroundings who put the lid on.

The Italian actress who got the laid stone to roll fast is an example of this. Her disclosure has meant that she has to leave Italy being victim blamed. It’s not that surprising – Italian men have been infamous for decades for grabbing.

And Egypt not to forget. Mohamed Diab’s movie Kairo 678 from 2010 should get a renaissance now. It’s not better in the other Arab countries, honestly. I have met them online for years now, men from Algeria, Morocco and Tunisia, all “friends” – but they just can’t help themselves in the long run. Not even online! In daily life they pray 5 times a day, buy sex from prostitutes, kick their sisters out of home if they get pregnant unmarried, questioning in words women intelligence capacity… you name it!

Ayaan Hirsi Ali

Ayaan Hirsi Ali born in Somalia, first a refugee in the Netherlands and now living in America has been telling about women’s daily lives in a movie in the Netherlands and in her books. She and her mother lived before coming to Netherland in Saudi Arabia and she has written about what a hell it was just to go out for shopping groceries because of the men on the street attacking them with grabbing.

But #Metoo twitter reveals this is common the world over, white western men are not an exception. It is so common that some men have not had a clue as to what their mothers, sisters, girlfriends or wives have been exposed to for years. This is the case not at least in Sweden. Well-known men in Sweden on TV, newspapers and in sport world are hanged out for the public as the pigs they really are – and have been for years. Like a public hush-hush, an elephant in the room.

Women simply have not been able to talk about this without being further humiliated and ridiculed – of both women and men in their immediate vicinity. And all this attention now creates upset emotions in all women, who have lived with this conditions for decades and forced to handled it with repress it to “move on” with life.

It’s upsetting, yes. But it shows everyone’s daily living area is a political area! And we are not like negligible little bugs that not matters. We matters, our experiences matters.

What it’s all about in a broader perspective is to hold down women in the society by making them feeling insecure and being unsafe in the common social space. All women who have created a social position have made in most “in spite of all”, and not (entirely) because the our societies have become more equal for women. This is how it has been in the West since the 19th century when women began to put down a foot and demand to be respected as individuals and full members of the society.

But we should not forget we do not live in a totaly heterosexual world. And that dirty urge to get power and control over others is not gender-based or dependent on sexual orientation. Men violated other men the same way. Women violated other women the same way.

This following link gives a story that tell it all how it can be: the beginning like a meeting over a weekend expected to just nice and funny, but which ends in an assault on one participant. The story tells about the abuse, about the first immediate time after the abuse and the traumatic years afterwards and others’ reactions to what has happened in all different stages.

https://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/woman-on-woman-sexual-assault
IT HAPPENED TO ME: I Was Raped By A Woman At A Party, And No One Did Anything

That’s for real women and what’s all over all news, TV and Internet. When I don’t check up news I watch British TV drama, they are good at it – the British!

pic from the TV serial “Doctor Foster” season one 2015

Doctor Foster is a woman, even if so a fictional character in a commercial television series, who refuses to be a victim. Her world crashes when she discover her husband has cheated on her with a much younger woman and furthermore is a scammer who has robbed her on her savings and heritage and the house they live in. She’s rich and has a well-paid job been and she has supported her husband the whole marriage, as he pretended to build a carrier in the business world. But he’s just a scammer IRL. Now he’s find a new milk cow in a young girl with stone rich parents. Doctor Foster can’t get her man back, but she can restore her money savings, get her job and son back and hunt her ex  out of town with his legs between his legs. Borderless and unconventional. Journalists (females!) have reviewed it as a study in female madness and female evilness. That’s weird!

I loved the first season. I hate the second season. The people behind the serial has make some sort of Medea of the woman character. A character no-one can identify herself with.

And all her doing to save her world a second time threatened by this lowlife to man is not realistic in a time perspective. As for example – in a scene sequence she pack a bag to run away without any earlier planning. But in fact in the same very short time it’s later shown for the stunned audience she has made very intricate far going plans including a lot of cooperating people, now sudden her friends. It’s just too shocking for the TV viewer – and too unrealistic.

The ending of part 5 in season 2 is such it ensure that’s possible for the producers to plan a third season. I suppose the people behind the series sees in the female figure a cash cow like the fictive husband character once did. So it’s a double scam.

Besides everything else in this “daily life story” – you can’t have a full time job and have all that drama privately. As a doctor, she seems not to be good (to me) and she lack the ethics to the profession – even it’s said several times in the plot she’s very good doctor. No, not in my eyes she is – I’m happy I don’t have her as my doctor. The only thought makes me feeling unwell!

At least she is overloaded with action ability. Which has not been seen that much of on the real worlds scenes lately. I  think of what has happened in Spain and Catalonia the past weeks.

The Catalonian President Puigdemont is certainly a master of stepping away from a clarifying declarations. He got on peoples’ nerves in the whole Europe, not only on Rajoy’s and his government. The whole October he has postponed or postponed to let anyone know which will be, even though everyone knows what’ll be!

Puigdemont has said Rajoy is looking for to humiliate him. Well … I don’t think Prime Minister Rajoy has any such personal interest in this ! But how ever this story ends, it can only become humiliating for Puigdemont. It’s obvious – and I can’t understand he has not realized it a long time ago. Did he really believe his strategies could be successful? But maybe this is the strategy?

He and others had begged for the EU toc act as a mediator. I know very little about the EU and politics. Really! But I still know two things 1. The EU cannot enter into a country’s internal conflicts – and thank goodness for that! I also know 2. That the EU does not want newly formed states and that they therefore support the Spanish government. They want to consolidate the EU as a political entity.

In passing – personally, I think the EU should be content with being a trade coalition. This ideas the EU leader have to make the EU to military unit with a common foreign policy is an Napoleon idea I could put on Puigdemont tragic coat for to fight against!

Rajoy has been criticized by his colleagues in Europe for the police violence on October 1. (That referendum Rajoy claimed never had happened.)  But aside that – Merkel, Macron and the other European leaders, including the Swedish Prime Minister Löfven, they are all Rajoy’s best friends and advisers how to handle this delicate situation with the separatists in Catalonia.

I think that the separatists do not think about their own people’s best, but only their own cause. At the same time, the Conservative Government in Madrid has been working since its beginning to undermine the autonomy of Catalonia received by the former Social Democratic government. Rajoy reaps what he saw.

What I find worrying as being a Swede is that the Spanish Government’s will take over the Catalan public service business and media. The freedom of the press and an independent public service are like holy cows here in Sweden.

The latest about Catalonia: finally a decision on Friday 27 in Barcelona – and straight after in Madrid. All leaders explain solidarity with Madrid, except Scotland – and I think that’s cute, the Catalans have at least one part in Europe and a people understand their situation. It’s cute as they are not independent either, but wish now forced into this Brexit situation.
Latest Saturday from BBC An official state bulletin dismissed Catalan leaders and handed control of Catalonia to Spain’s Deputy Prime Minister, Soraya Saenz de Santamaria.
Earlier, Spain’s interior ministry took charge of Catalonia’s police after firing senior Catalan police officials.
Demonstrators in Madrid Saturday evening demands Puigdemont becomes jailed.

For an individual as well for a people it’s important to be free and not like a puppet on a string. Puigdemont is not a puppet on a string, he will not be even if he will be jailed. Rajoy is a puppet on a string. He will be even if he will be the detainer.

The leaders in the EU have enough with to handle Brexit. It’s odd by the way, to see the media photos of Theresa May and the other European leaders standing close together and smiling softly to each other as they are the best of friends and not antagonists in hard negotiations.

 

 

Brexit is an internal divider also for the British. Very many don’t want it at all. And the Scottish not. The later was the only who welcomed a free Catalonia. Which is nice as they are the only  – and cute as Scotland under British government can’t recognize a state.

 

I have had high thoughts about the independence and objectivity of Swedish news reports on public service TV. But that trust has failed this last year. Beginning, I think it was, around the terror attack in Stockholm in April this year. The Swedish police and members of the public made a fantastic job. But Swedish media did not handle it well, but fell for what seems to be called “sensationalism”.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensationalism
Sensationalism is a type of editorial bias in mass media in which events and topics in news stories and pieces are overhyped to present biased impressions on events, which may cause a manipulation to the truth of a story.[1] Sensationalism may include reporting about generally insignificant matters and events that do not influence overall society and biasedpresentations of newsworthy topics in a trivial or tabloid manner contrary to the standards of professional journalism.

The Swedish TV public service site on internet was a mess if you wanted to read any sensible information. And later this year two highly qualified news anchor was dismissed because they reached the fatal retiring age of 65. Since then I too often gets frustrated when reading Swedish TV News web site. The best with it is you don’t get blocked because you haven’t pay for access as with other news sites in Sweden and abroad. Well, it can be me see things differently now than I did before. I don’t know.

Federica Mogherini

And people experience things differently. My son and I saw a documentary about the EU the weekend before the present. He thought it was a depressing view of EU. I didn’t experience it like that – it just not reach my brain as I consider it as just bullshit, those talk of European crisis and threats . No, I was totally sold of the portrait of the young Federica Mogherini as a salvation creature…

(Europe at Sea, by Annalisa Piras 2017). Swedish title Det hotade Europa (The threatened Europe).

The documentary is made now in 2017 – and British it said in the program guide  – that last allowed us to raise our eyebrows a bit, as thinking Brexit and the next future for the British outside the EU. (But Piras is Italian I have now later found out.)

Actually Piras succeeded well with her movie. But it’s not a true image of reality. Europe is not “threatened”, all this “crisis” talk is a mind thing. It’s propaganda or at best – a party pleading. People in Africa would laugh their asses off hearing or reading such analysis.

Leni Riefenstahl was also a very good film propagandist.

This week, it has also been decided by the Swedish government that license funding for non-commercial TV and radio operations will end next year and be replaced by a tax. It has taken many years of headache for the politicians to come to this decision – because the principle that the government can never affect public service is so deeply rooted, so that even tax funding has been considered to be a risk taking. However, as this “objective” “documentary” revealed, the objectivity of the Swedish public service cannot be taken for granted now either. Individuals need to be aware and not allow themselves to be stupefied.

But actually Swedish TV Public Service is mostly focused on to invest its money on stupefying entertainment programs. And youngsters turn their back at those middle age programs for go to Facebook and YouTube to get updated. And there you have it – the fake world. “The Brave New World” and “Nineteen Eighty-Four”.

Our Social-Democratic Government is good for Swedish trade. And it has managed to close out refugees from Sweden with asylum rights formally preserved. The refugees’ rights is nowadays a formality only on paper, not in real life and practice. It’s all about business and selfish interests that’s count. It’s a clever feat – but make every still thinking Swede feel ashamed over being Swedish.

“Would You Buy A Used Car From This Man?”

Our trade minister Ann Linde has visited Saudi Arabia this week from 22 to 25 October. It is her second visit in Saudi Arabia. The Trade Minister defends the government’s contacts with she begins each conversation in Saudi Arabia by talking about “human rights”. It is of course a formality – too.

 

I read on the Swedish government website “About 1000 Swedish companies export to Saudi Arabia, Sweden’s largest export market in the Middle East. Sweden exports around 10 billion SEK per year. Linde will launch the Swedish Institute’s Leadership Program for Women, She Leads, to promote the exchange between Sweden and Saudi Arabia. “

 

The conservative party in Sweden (Moderaterna) have elected a new leader and the party is now raising again and taking back the supporters they earlier had lost to the racist party SD (Swedish Democrats).

And what is  the conservatives’ successful recipe? Well, it is a politic who want to criminalize street begging, abolish asylum rights within the country’s borders, making it difficult for immigrants to become Swedish citizens… and this program for success they present on TV news without blushing. OMG!

More to feel sick about: China has had its congress and the party consolidated its dictatorship further. But China as a trading partner is also clean enough for Sweden as for the rest of the world, China is the world’s largest and most hard and inhumane dictatorship! Why is that such a taboo to be outspoken about? Because of trade.

If I want to buy any kitchen utensils I always look at the bottom of the product and if it says “Made in China” I refrain from buying it. Then it is hard – at least in Sweden – to find other similar product that is cheap and easy to get close by! Israeli products are also common to find in my closest grocery here in Sweden, like a lot of frozen vegetarian products of very good quality. But it’s the same with that, I refuse to buy and eat it.

It is said that EU representatives want to learn military techniques and methods of Israel, is that so? If so, it’s weird. It’s also weird to accuse people for being anti-Semites for dislike the Israeli way of handle their “internal affairs”. But the Israelis have a free media and freedom of speech, not to forget that! If you are lucky enough to be an Israeli of course.

It is not easy for an individual not to be like puppet on a strings, and it is easier to let it go with the flow. But your daily life living room TV set and your kitchen fridge are political arenas too, as well as the aura between you and the other. Modern life is to be forced to make decision about the small things in life – from what you eat, to how to use your brain to how you treat others. You can at least try to be a decent person.

Sometimes media and some other actor like the big supermarkets give the individual the push and helping hand you need. This autumn it has been a lot of reports of what damage plastic do to our oceans. And the groceries doubled the prize for a simple plastic bag for carry the food products. It radically change my behavior. And media has reported it’s a common change of peoples’ behavior overall.

(In passing said, that could be the case for all unhealthy sweetened products too. But in that case the supermarkets overall blame the consumers, claiming unsweetened products is not profitable.)

We strain to gnats and swallow camels.

But what is essential in a “threatened” world? Who are really threatened?

Media has during the year and this last week too reported the best they can about scientists have found that 75% of all insects have disappeared from Germany’s natural areas. It’s possible it as bad in other countries too.

Without insects – no life, they tell. Media try to report this, but this information just drowns in the flood over other news. No one listen to this! Or do you?

http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-41670472

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4998832/The-flying-insects-planet-depends-plummets-75.html

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/oct/18/warning-of-ecological-armageddon-after-dramatic-plunge-in-insect-numbers

We strain to gnats and swallow camels.

That’s what the Buddhists in Burma do too. Strain gnats and swallow camels, I mean. Because they are vegetarians. They don’t want  by mistake swallow a bug. But it is okay to slaughter people because they are Muslims?!

An ex-minister from Burma said that basically it concerns the natural resources that exist where Rohingya people has traditionally been living. Whatever … What country, government, leaders in our world make a real effort to help this horrific eradication of Rohingyas’? Or giving Bangladesh money and skill for handle all refugees from Burma?

“We” do not care much about this minority.

Who are “we”?

“We” are the humans who do not care much about the fact that 75% of the insects have disappeared in some areas, although without them we have no life either. That is “we”!

This is what Angela Merkel should want to put on her plate! As the cause of the bugs is a “to be or not to be”. But maybe she just look for her apple strudel with whipped cream. Again – there will be no apple strudel without insects! We should be essential and real.

 

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Why is it so easy to love and so hard to be loved?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why is it so difficult for a talented woman (like me) to be loved and respected
despite her greatness? Women are expected subordinate the other’s stubborn
ignorance and limitations, right? Having a penis is bigger? Is it? What about
having a brain and using it? How about it, huh?

The guy should have been proud being
loved by me! But he was apparently
too stupid because all he did was to
complain, “so I’m a bad person now?”

It is a hard journey to realize a lover
has no more substance than a fart.
The odor is just as embarrassing as
the shame to have been tricked.

(And then you say bad things because
you’re hurt! From lovers to warriors!)

But like everyone, he simply just want
to be loved. It’s so ironic and pathetic!

It’s too easy to say “I love you”, but it’s
not easy “to have and to hold! It’s not
easy to be loved for who you truly are!

You will not be loved because you
deserve it. Love is a grace and some
of us are blessed with it, others not.
If you urge for true love: get a pet.

Du kommer inte att bli älskad för att du
förtjänar det. Kärlek är en nåd och en del
av oss är välsignade med det, andra inte.
Vill du ha sann kärlek: skaffa dig en hund.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I will never love more but you

 

 

 

 

 

I got a call yesterday from an
“ex” bf. I remember him as a
nice man. He has still a very
nice voice. Alluring. But he’s
not to trust. Still it was sad to
say “I’m sorry”. And I got such
a sudden hard headache after.

I still miss you. I guess you too
is an “ex” bf by definition? But
not in my heart and never in my
dreams. I still dream about you.

To live without you is a daily
Hamlet matter. But I’m not a
Hamlet, I hope to learn to be
happy, even always miss you.

I see me aging in peace and
retiring from men and all that
fuss with them and get a pet.
Something easy like a Pug or
a Boston-Terrier. But yet I’ve
heard they’re snore at nights.

You are the wildest I ever met,
my most secret foolish desire.

I give you my heart on a plate.
I will never love more but you.

Posted in aging, become old, borders, create life, dreamers, loneliness, loss, love poem, love story, memories, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, rebellious lovers, relationships, repression and borders, sadness, secret love, sexuality, walk of life, walls, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

There’s nothing between Stockholm and Agadir

 

 

 

When it’s plus 6 in Stockholm there’s plus 30
in Agadir. I needed knitted gloves today when
I biked to the grocery store. And I was thinking
of you meantime biking. How are you doing?
The cold iced my legs in jeans when I biked
home again. I was thinking about you. Slowly
rolls our time and I trample and trample my life
in front of me. And I’m still living without you.
For how long will it be? Forever? Plus 6 here
and plus 30 in Agadir and nothing between us,
not even tears. You will not call me. And I will
not call you. I know, I know. And the wheel roll.
No getaway. Later on we’ll be dead and it’ll be
forever, I in Stockholm and you in Agadir.

 

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Going to bed with a pug


You go to bed with a pug and you wake up
with a German pinscher taking the space
and like a woman of the world you’ll smile
with whitening teeth, not biting but hoping
for more. Born to this world, live for a while
and then simply just die. All we get is a stone
over our heads, a wreath and lighting candles
once a year at best. Why do we care? Why do
I care? But I do. This emotional moves in my
chest, oh! Is it only something born with for
the survival of the species, like other species?
And what about this love I have for you? Why
you? I’ll never understand the mystery of you.

Driving the truck “it gets lonely sometimes”

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And I miss you today too

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Long distance heating

This apartment I have, it’s too hot all through the summer. In the fall when the first cold hits outdoors, the temperature drops to normal indoors. Yet it never pleases me, but make me feel uneasy and frozen in the raw air in the morning. I meet this discomfort by lit candles and let them burn for a while until the molecules in the air become more friendly to me.

I live in the northern part of the world where people would not survive without heating the houses. Nowadays, almost all houses are heated by district heating, or in other words long distance heating. The thermometer tells me in wintertime the heat in my rooms is good, yet I don’t feel comfortable with my indoor climate. I blame this district heating method for it. All landlords in the whole world could talk against me, yet I’d claim I’m not comfortable with it. (I’m sure time and future science will tell what’s wrong with it and that it is not something “personal” with me.)

40% of households in Sweden are single households. Imagine! And if you live alone and have to live with long distance heating, you have discomfort in double sense – as people around you are distant and unfriendly at this latitudes and very seldom socialize with their neighbors. It took 3 years for people around to say “hi” to me in this city. I lived before 20 years in another city – there it took 10 years before neighbors dare to say “hello”. This counts only for native Swedes. Luckily Sweden is a migrant country and those new Swedes make the social climate a bit better, as they have no fear for saying “hi” to other people living in the same building. But that’s all they say!

Next spring, the landlord told last week in a letter, major renovations will begin in the area. Which means I have to move out for a time as floors and walls will demolished for new water pipelines and whatever more. But when I read this message I instantly felt I got enough of all the repairs and new buildings that have been going on the last years in this house and the area closest around and I’ve therefore decided I’ll move permanently to a new apartment and to a “better” residential area next summer.

I’m old enough to rent a senior apartment. However, there is a rule for having that kind of apartment that you are not allowed to share your home with anyone younger than 55 years old. So it’s nothing for me then as the object for my amorous dreams is far from being a senior man.

Yet, it is a bit strange I have thoughts about my next home based on conditions I don’t know if they’re valid or not. Meaning: I’m single, but not in my soul and heart.

I forgive the man who has stolen my heart for not returned it and for the lack not being old. Maybe he – in spite all –  stay steady for me and hold the line, as I do for him. I’ve tried to unlove him, but I can’t.

He lives so far away and there are no pipe lines in the world that can cover such a distance as the one between him and me.

There is no longer distance than the one between a loving couple who can’t communicate with each other.

 

 

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Hold my heart in your memory

So hold my heart in
your memory, because
I can’t believe any else
than time will bring you
to me and me to you

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On Saturday, Madrid will sing for us?

Catalonian President Carles Puigdemont

A respite is set to Saturday for Catalonian President Carles Puigdemont by the government in Madrid. But it’s just a helpless game for the galleries. What is going on behind the curtains we don’t have access to, just hoping there is anything going on!

The repression coming for the Catalans is though inevitable – as sure as demonstrations and riots will follows.

As the saying goes, like rats abandoning a sinking ship, Banco Sabadell leaves Barceona for Madrid and others say they want to follow. But it only means right now that the banks and companies expect an independent republic will come – and a republic of Catalonia will not be a member of the EU – so they have to leave. They say it’s not a standpoint, it in not.

The Spanish newspaper El Pais talked about the nerve war between Rejoy and Pudgimenont as a cat and rat game. First, I thought the analogy was ridiculous, but I must admit they are right. At present, it’s not so much a question of what will happen but a psychological war about WHO’S FAULT it is, when violence and repression breaks out. It will.

Spain’s prime minister Mariano Rajoy

So while people around the world and media gathered in Barcelona waits for WHAT WILL BE, Rejoy and Pudgemont are already writing the history books of what has not yet happened, neither want the blame for it, you see!

I can’t help but I feel a bit pity for Madrid and for the Rajoy government. They’re like sitting in a fox foothold… just like a helpless but big angry dad who just knows about the spanking stick as a tool for discipline.

 


Posted in "culture", create life, living in the world, obstacles, poems by vonnely, politics, web papers | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lost direction

You were my direction. Now
I’m lost and confused. I walk
around every day like a dog
that does not belong to any.

 

Posted in lost, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Human Right to Pee and Poop in Peace

 

 

 

 

There lives 7,5 billions people on earth. 2,5 billions have to go outdoors too pee and poop, 4,5 billions have no access to a toilet in the own household. They have no water to wash their hands. They have no clean water to drink.

Women and girls wait to dark to sneak out at fields to pee and poop, doing this they risk to be sexually attacked and raped. Girls in poverty countries can’t go to school because there is no toilets and they can’t take care of their hygiene during menstrual period and they get harassed by boys and men to and fro school.

Those girls can’t change their life without a change in their life conditions. It start with get an access to toilets and water. Then to schools and education. Further more: abolition of genital mutilation, the right to work on the labor market and to marry freely. The right not depend on males (husband or relatives) for legal rights.

We should all see ourselves in the context being one of 7,5 billion people and be aware in our part of the world not many are forced to live as victims. If you get victimized you can get tools to free yourself from your suffering. You are not defined by your circumstances as people in development countries or in refugee camps.

Imagine not having a toilet. Imagine fear rape for leaving home to pee and poop. Imagine not be able to wash your hands. Imagine to be forced to drink unclean water.

Coming month, November 19, is World Toilet day of UN declared.

Adding: It’s a tendency today people in the West world democracies  acts selfish and xenophobic and abandon the oppressed and vote for popular politicians with a conservative and racist agenda. If we not watch out we will vote in fascism in our countries in soon future.

KIBERA SLUM, NAIROBI, KENYA – AUGUST 2008: Images of impoverished girls who are very vulnerable in their communities, on August 20, 2008 in Nairobi, Kenya. The Nike Foundation for Girls has made small stipends available to fund a community for girls in disadvantaged area based on the fact that girls prove to be a better investment in poor communities than boys do. Many of these girls have now made friends, gained support and learnt job skills via these community facilities for girls. Nike Foundation believes that supporting girls is the key to a better future for everyone. (Photo by Brent Stirton/Getty Images)

 

Random links:

http://www.lifegate.com/people/news/ruby-cup-africa

 

http://www.peepoople.com/

http://www.wateraid.org/policy-practice-and-advocacy

https://www.groundup.org.za/article/more-toilets-will-save-south-africa-money_2889/

http://www.mynewsdesk.com/no/biovac-environmental-technology-as/news/et-lite-bidrag-fra-biovac-en-stor-hjelp-for-unicef-221619

http://www.worldtoiletday.info/

http://blogs.reuters.com/india/2011/09/30/indian-women-hard-pressed-to-relieve-themselves/

http://www.vi-tidningen.se/ingen-skitsak/

A quote from the Swedish magazine Vi translated to English. Camilla Wirseen talesperson  Peepoople say:
“That this is primarily a women’s issue has made the case low priority.
Last year, the organization Wateraid tried to make Sweden aware of an equally enormous and neglected gender equality problem – the toilet shortage. A debate article in Uppsala Nya Tidning /local Swedish newspaper/ emphasized that sanitation is a human right that is violated daily – and that is the women who are most affected by the hardest. Having no access to a toilet near their home means that some refrain from eating, which in the long run leads to malnutrition, urinary tract infections and indigestion. In addition to the immediate health consequences, it also means worsening educational and income opportunities. When there are no toilets at school, many girls decide to end the day they get…. 

Posted in "culture", Africa, borders, create life, living in the world, obstacles, poems by vonnely, politics, reading, repression and borders, sexuality, walls | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This angry woman you know so well

 

 

 

 

 

I tell myself you’re just a silly man
nothing to bother my thoughts with.
I should forget about you and that’s
exactly what I never want to do! If
you’ll never be with me in the long
cold Scandinavian winter nights –
maybe you anyhow will remember
that far away there’s this angry but
yet freezing woman longing for your
warm embraces. Yes, this woman me
you know so well in your heart, who
will love you for the rest of her days!

 

 

 

Posted in become old, borders, darkness, loneliness, loss, love poem, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The bull in Madrid and the donkey in Barcelona

There seems to be very little of sympathy in Europe for Mr. Puigdemont, the President of Catalonia, and for his efforts to create an independent state. The objections are several by many on different levels, public or private views. It is said in media EU don’t want it as union got enough of dealing with UK and Brexit. France have official declared they will never recognize Catalonia as a separate nation. Mr. Juncker say if he could vote, he would vote to keep Spain together as it is but he can’t vote. He fear a domino effect – more of independence movements in Europe would disturb his visions for the future EU.”

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-41610863

If we allow, but it’s not our business, that Catalonia becomes independent, others will do the same and I wouldn’t like that,” he said.” I wouldn’t like a European Union in 15 years that consists of some 90 states.”

He is a pusher and like the rest leaders for the conservative right wing parties in EU he strive for to make Europe to one union with one military and one foreign policy. I count in Macron in that circle of conservative politicians.

http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/864729/Catalonia-independence-referendum-Rajoy-Merkel-Macron-Juncker

Merkel, Macron and Juncker shamelessly back Spanish PM on Catalonia

I like Merkel, although she’s a conservative politician, as she’s a positive symbol for Europe to have and a pragmatist for a common sense, lacking very much in the world today – and I wow Macron winning the French election – as anything is better than Le Pen’s and her equals! It’s not the same as I like those Christ Democratic parties with conservative right-wing agendas that’s unfortunately is in power in Europe and West overall now.

With the galloping development the last decades – latest days the election of the new leader of Swedish right-wing party and the success for that kid Kurz in Austria we reached at a hill of the development of increasing intolerance we today live in a pre-fascistic world ruled by democratic elected parties by voters in each country. (Eye on Hungary – Poland – Trump – Brexit and..)

Swedish foreign minister said about the referendum the 1 of October that is was illegal – as anything was said by that.(Once, it was “illegal” for black people to pee in the same toilets as whities – and whatever else!)But her goal since she left EU and became foreign minister in Sweden is to make a difference with get Sweden power inside UN and it’s as a powerful position as a fart in an outhouse. But for the membership in the Security Council she and Sweden dropped the cause for West Saharans, Palestinians, Berber and I don’t know whatever more repressed groups world around, their hopes for the progressive Swedish good reputation, now fading away … This woman is nothing more than a flop and a disappointment. (I give a thorn towards Sweden only because I’m a Swede, living in Sweden.)

The referendum certainly was illegal as PP in govern in Spain as early as 2010 in practice restricted Catalonia to be able to governing and their right to make their own laws. If Madrid cancels Catalonia laws, well yes – then the consequently their independent practice in every sense is “illegal”!

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/catalonia-spain-law-businesses-companies-leave-madrid-independence-referendum-latest-a7986536.html

Swedish newspapers and journalists seems pretty unanimously condemn the Catalonian nationalism. Because “nationalism” is a bad word and it smell conservatism. Well…! This so, in spite it’s the conservative parties now runs west world and thwarts local movements. The Swedish media too fear the “domino”-effect. Yet we have got a lot of new nations in Europe and it seems not have threaten the EU-agenda. There is no “domino”-effect “can become”, it has been going on latest hundred years. But! I found an exception in an article written by Anna Jörgendotter, Swedish writer and journalist born 1973, who has researched and wrote a book about  the Spanish Civil War. “It is the authoritarian that is the disaster” she writes in a Swedish newspaper.

https://www.sydsvenskan.se/2017-10-08/det-ar-det-auktoritara-som-ar-katastrofen

Yes, and it is the authoritarian in the Spanish attitude, that’s my primary interest in this matter, the liberation of Catalonia from Spain. I find it upsetting, unacceptable and unwise – and worrying.

Among the argument to be heard is it would not be economically possible for Catalonia to exist outside EU and that Spain would reject any apply for membership to EU, common people would sink in welfare. It is also said the Catalans are not oppressed, a s it has they have autonomy and the province is a wealthy part of Spain. They (the Catalans) have nothing to complain about and should frankly shut up. (It’s likely lose access to EU and the economical sanctions already implemented by the Spanish government the last years will cause severe difficulties for Catalonia.)

Now… May so be all those who don’t applaud the nationalism of Catalonia are right? I honestly don’t know what Puigdemont agenda is except the claim for independence, so consequently I don’t know in what matter how politically conservative or radical he is. But I want to say this: you don’t have to be poor and starving, beaten, tortured and raped or belong to the third world or be “PC” (political correct) to be in the right to have and to declare independency. Simply so.

You may have diamonds under your soles, but if people you are with treat you as second class citizens – you should not be with them, it’s not good for you.

As said, Madrid already made efforts during 2010 to now to undermine and destroy Catalan economy and Puigdemont’s cause. The 4 October  this year Spain founded a law for banks and other to leave Catalonia. Madrid picked the diamonds to destroy Catalonia economy and threaten with law 155 taking away those political liberties the Catalans have to now.

http://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/13/opinion/catalonia-spain-puigdemont.html

“Can Spain Become a Country That No One Wants to Leave?
Creating a country is a complex, expensive process: To take such a step you need a huge amount of support. Usually, independence is achieved after a long war, or the fall of a colonial power. At the least, it requires the gathering of an overwhelming majority. In Catalonia, I’m glad to say, the first two options seem impossible. The third one is not in place. To start as a new but divided country would be a recipe for disaster.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/catalonia-spain-law-businesses-companies-leave-madrid-independence-referendum-latest-a7986536.html

Spain passes law to help businesses move out of region
Spain’s government has passed a law making it easier for companies to move their official base out of Catalonia, a move that could deal a heavy blow to the region’s finances.

So what with the idyllic picture of a Catalonia as an independent and flourishing part of Spanish Kingdom-  before this “sudden” referendum?

2010 the Catalan parliament founded a law that forbid bullfighting. October 2016 Spain annulled this law, declaring bullfighting is part of the Spain identity, it’s “art” and a “cultural heritage”.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/bullfighting-catalonia-spain-court-overturns-ban-a7371676.html#commentsDivhttps://www.svt.se/nyheter/utrikes/spaniens-hogsta-domstol-haver-lokalt-tjurfaktningsforbud

 

 

 

 

This nationalistic bullfighting “sport” and “art” is close heart for Mariano Rajoy  and his party PP = Partido Popular.

Partido Popular protect the bullfighting culture and business as a cultural heritage, an art and a sport and a fundament for the agricultures economy to survive. Spain have agricultural support from EU providing the breed of bulls. EU told it should not be used to that but has not done any efficient to prevent it – if that so is? If so is, it means Swedish tax money goes to the breed of bulls for bullfighting.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/feb/11/bullfighting-spanish-heritage-petition

Bullfighting could be declared key part of Spanish heritage
Petition seeks to have bullfights categorised as an asset of cultural interest, a move that would give promoters tax breaks

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/spain/7377754/Spanish-bullfighting-should-be-given-UNESCO-protection.html

As bulls are used in different ways in festivals in Catalonia but with no killing, critics have question the Catalan motive for an anti-bullfighting as suspicion it as a tool for political national purposes, less for the care of animals. But to produce negative insinuations of “underlying” motives is also a tool and a part of patronizing attitudes from a counterparty and the outside world.

It is same fair as “the art” of bullfighting: the organizers first prepare the event with isolate the bull days before in darkness for days and mistreat the animal in other ways, coming in daylight is a demoralizing shock for a traumatized and weakened animal running out in hope to get free from  fear and torture – then  picadors wound the bulls neck muscle with spears, making it impossible for the animal to raise his head, not to talk about the stress and the pain…. and so on to final killing… It’s not art or sport to torture animals. It’s just sick.

http://advocacy.britannica.com/blog/advocacy/2010/08/the-romance-and-reality-of-bullfighting-2/

And to return to the political arena in Spain: no doubt there is a lot of patronizing words and threats here.

From Monday newspaper El pais:

Puigdemont mantiene el juego del ratón y el gato =Puigdemont maintains the game mouse and cat

…although twisted, it’s actually funny 🙂 Puigdemont as the evil cat and the government in Madrid as the poor little mouse. 😀

https://elpais.com/elpais/2017/10/16/opinion/1508145118_242737.html

Further:

https://politica.elpais.com/politica/2017/10/16/actualidad/1508144294_037334.html

Cataluña está en la cima de la pirámide de Maslow.

(Catalonia is at the top of Maslow’s pyramid.)

Yes, but as I said before : you don’t have to be poor and starving, beaten, tortured and raped or belong to the third world or be “PC” (political correct) to be in the right to have and to declare independency.

Rejoy do not like demonstrations and freedom of speech much. But ultra-right people running the streets now in October, doing Hitler greetings and screaming Franco songs, is that okay, Mr. Rejoy?

Is it okay honored writers at El Pais?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4959952/Spain-supporters-fascist-salutes-independence-demo.html

No jailing, no fees for them? Only for young students with a twitter account?

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/spain-s-freedom-of-speech-repression-is-no-joke-a7688341.html

Spain’s freedom of speech repression is no joke
Spain’s difficult past keeps censorship an issue in the present day

 Cassandra Vera, a 21-year-old student from the city of Murcia in the south-east of Spain, has been sentenced to a year in prison, and disqualified from public functions for seven years, after making jokes on Twitter that “glorified terrorism”.

Between 2013 and 2016, Vera published 13 tweets that commented on terrorist group ETA’s assassination of Luis Carrero Blanco, which happened in 1973. Blanco had been expected to succeed dictator Francisco Franco, and was a long time ally of the general.

Ruling on her crime, judges in the National Audience, Spain’s top criminal court, stated that Vera’s tweets “constitute contempt, dishonour, disrepute, mockery and affront to the people who have suffered the blow of terrorism”.

Vera is not the only one sentence to jail in Sapin.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/mar/12/spain-security-law-protesters-freedom-expression

The Spanish senate has voted to push forward with controversial changes to the country’s public security laws, cracking down on Spaniards’ rights of freedom of assembly and expression despite opposition from activists and human rights groups.

To look closer at this Spanish party in charge, Partido Popular, you soon find it’s a hard core right wing party who has its roots in Alianza Popular (AP) once created by ministers from Franco time and to gather Franco supporters for become civilized creating a democratic development of the country.

The People’s Alliance (Spanish: Alianza Popular [aˈljanθa popuˈlar], AP [aˈpe]) was a post-Francoist electoral coalition, and later a conservative political party in Spain, founded in 1976 as federation of political associations. Transformed into a party in 1977 and led by Manuel Fraga, it became the main conservative right-wing party in Spain. It was refounded as the People’s Party in 1989. (source: Wikipedia People’s Alliance (Spain)

The PP man Pablo Pasado warned Puigdemont he could face the same destiny as the former Catalan, Lluís Companys, who declared indepence of Catalonien in 1934. This man, Lluís Companys, became in 1940 executed by Franco. Mr. Pasado had then after to explain for media he was thinking of jail for Puigdemont. Not murder him. Well, that’s nice of him. He just thought we should learn of the history, he said.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/catalonia-referendum-independence-spain-jail-carles-puigdemont-threat-leader-latest-a7991191.html

Mr. Rejoy and Mr. Puigdemont really have difficulties to communicate. It’s dead-lock. Now Leroy has given Puigdemont another three days to tell “yes” or “no”. The thing is: for Mr. Puigdemont it is not about “yes” or “no” but “how” – and trying to avoid violence. And Madrid see no choice than to use repression and violence and they fear it… so they push it forward, “you have three more days…”

There is rumours a third part try to giving a helping. It’s represents from Basque. Yes, really… no one has forgot ETA!

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-10-11/basques-are-said-to-work-back-channel-between-catalans-and-spain

The Basque Country’s ruling party is acting as an interlocutor between Spain’s central government and the Catalan regional executive in a bid to reduce tension and find a compromise, according to three people familiar with the matter.

Senior officials from the Basque Nationalist Party, known as the PNV, have been trying to find common ground between Madrid and Barcelona to limit the fallout from the biggest institutional clash of Spain’s democratic era, said the people, who asked not to be named because the matter is confidential.

(Wikipedia tells: Bloomberg News is an international news agency headquartered in New York, United States and a division of Bloomberg L.P.)

My son is only 33 and I don’t understand how he knows all what he knows, I’ve never knew about this specific story, but of course I should have! Well anyhow, I found an article about in the Spanish newspaper El Pais.

Luis R. Aizpeolea

It’s translated to English. fantastical written and so thrilling by a journlist at El Pais named Luis R. Aizpeolea. I don’t know who he this, but if you want to read something like an action movie, you just have to read his article! While reading I just forgot I had to shower and wash my hair for going downtown!

https://elpais.com/elpais/2013/12/18/inenglish/1387374599_382537.html

ETA Terror 1973 Madrid

And in a passing my son then said in the same conversation “we still see reminder from those days, as for example the security measures before the visit of President Obama in Sweden 2013 when every street sewers on the streets of Stockholm were carefully investigated and welded. In other words, we do learn from the history, at least institutions for security like the Swedish police sources – and they do it so well. Their training is something for export!

preparing for President Obama coming to Stockholm 2013

 

 

 

 

 

 

The latest news last night:

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-41646142

Catalonia: Spain detains two separatists

A Spanish judge has remanded two key members of the Catalan independence movement in jail.Jordi Sánchez, who heads the Catalan National Assembly (ANC), and Jordi Cuixart, leader of Omnium Cultural, are being held without bail while they are under investigation for sedition.The men are seen as leading figures in organising a 1 October independence vote, which Spanish courts suspended.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/oct/17/madrid-jails-catalan-separatist-leaders-jordi-cuixart-and-jordi-sanchez-pending-investigation

Jordi Sánchez, who heads the Catalan National Assembly (ANC), and Jordi Cuixart, leader of Omnium Cultural, are being held without bail while they are under investigation for sedition.

 

 

What happens next only time will tell.

 

 

 

 

 

LINKS:

 

 

 

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-41584864
Catalonia crisis in 300 words

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-41610863

http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/864729/Catalonia-independence-referendum-Rajoy-Merkel-Macron-Juncker

https://www.sydsvenskan.se/2017-10-08/det-ar-det-auktoritara-som-ar-katastrofen

nytimes.com/2017/10/13/opinion/catalonia-spain-puigdemont.html
“Can Spain Become a Country That No One Wants to Leave?”

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/catalonia-spain-law-businesses-companies-leave-madrid-independence-referendum-latest-a7986536.html

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/bullfighting-catalonia-spain-court-overturns-ban-a7371676.html#commentsDiv

https://www.svt.se/nyheter/utrikes/spaniens-hogsta-domstol-haver-lokalt-tjurfaktningsforbud

http://advocacy.britannica.com/blog/advocacy/2010/08/the-romance-and-reality-of-bullfighting-2/

nytimes.com/2017/10/13/opinion/catalonia-spain-puigdemont.html?ref=oembed

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/catalonia-spain-law-businesses-companies-leave-madrid-independence-referendum-latest-a7986536.html

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/bullfighting-catalonia-spain-court-overturns-ban-a7371676.html#commentsDiv

https://www.svt.se/nyheter/utrikes/spaniens-hogsta-domstol-haver-lokalt-tjurfaktningsforbud

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/feb/11/bullfighting-spanish-heritage-petition

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/spain/7377754/Spanish-bullfighting-should-be-given-UNESCO-protection.html

http://advocacy.britannica.com/blog/advocacy/2010/08/the-romance-and-reality-of-bullfighting-2/

https://elpais.com/elpais/2017/10/16/opinion/1508145118_242737.html

https://politica.elpais.com/politica/2017/10/16/actualidad/1508144294_037334.html

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-10-11/basques-are-said-to-work-back-channel-between-catalans-and-spain

Wikipedia:
Bloomberg News is an international news agency headquartered in New York, United States and a division of Bloomberg L.P.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4959952/Spain-supporters-fascist-salutes-independence-demo.html

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/mar/12/spain-security-law-protesters-freedom-expression

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-41646142
Two Catalan separatists in Spanish custody

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/oct/17/madrid-jails-catalan-separatist-leaders-jordi-cuixart-and-jordi-sanchez-pending-investigation

Posted in animal rights, borders, create life, dreamers, fictional story, poems by vonnely, politics, reading, rebellious lovers, roots, threatened, web papers, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ride the river in this boat

(Sometimes I’m all mixed up, tottered between longing love and resentment, Paradise in Hell.) Woke up this morning realizing I have opened a line, giving a tool through which he can continue to treat me with his old habitual manner – taking position in an obscure and numb silence, power man and not a lover man. The mystery, people become loved who not have the skill and the will to put love at work. And then it’s the own vulnerable heart on one side and on the other side the deeds of a tone-deaf lover – and you’re forced to take a stand against what you want and desire. So then! I woke up this morning realizing I have opened a backdoor and a free ride for repression – if he want to. (Deep down fooled by the vain hope he would wake up one morning and be the one I wanted him to be.) But giving it a second thought, I concluded: he can do or not do whatever he like, it’s not my table anymore. I’ll be fine. Riding the river in this boat.

 

 

 

Posted in borders, dreamers, inspiring music, loneliness, loss, love poem, maturity, obstacles, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, prose poem, sadness, secret love, walk of life, walls, with or without you, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I never told you goodbye

 
To cut you off was easy and actually an act of
self-defense, I don’t expect you to understand.
But now I discover I’ve cut off a part of myself.
And sometimes during my days it hurts in my
absent body part. I fill me up with words when
it hurts too much and try to stay brave, but it is
not easy. You know my darling Angelo, I never
told you goodbye because between you and me
there is no such as farewell, only blue longing.
The days gets shorter and the nights dark and
I am like a packet of fish in a freezer dreaming
about the ocean. But your kisses are still warm.

 

 

 

Posted in armed loneliness, Autumn poem, darkness, dreamers, loneliness, loss, love poem, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Said within parentheses

 

 

 

 

 

 

If there were a road back to me,
would you choose that road then,
would you? Do you miss me like
I miss you, do you?

(Poor me, loving you so stupidly much.)

I don’t want you to suffer, I really
don’t. But it would make me happy
to know you love and miss me too.
(Do you?)

(I know you do, you poor stupid man.)
(And poor me, loving you so stupidly much.)

What was it all about then? A waste
of time – a misconduct of hearts?
There was love but no understanding?
(But still!)

(Poor me, loving you so stupidly much.)

(I ask my empty walls, would he come
to me if only he could? Knowing how
much I miss him!) (I know he knows!)

(Poor me, loving him so stupidly much.)

 

Posted in Autumn poem, loneliness, loss, love story, obstacles, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, relationships, repression and borders, sadness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

He was twenty and I was eighteen

He was twenty and I was eighteen
and he drove a truck on free time
to make some money and sometimes
when he went for long drives over a
weekend I was there with him in the cab.
For him it was nothing but hard work and
stress, but I loved it as an adventure and I
fancy the soily and oily smell from his dirty
and tired body when we stayed on a dark
parking to sleep on the very narrow bunk
back the seats of the cab. Once the police
stopped the truck in search for a missing
teen girl in my age. A little shadow of worry
touched my mind as they let my boyfriend
drive on just because he locked trustworthy.
But I dropped it as I too thought he was all
good and it was all okay. Once we stopped
to eat at a fancy restaurant and we were
treated as celebrities in spite we looked like
bums in our worn out and wrinkled clothes.
I have never forgot that meal as it was like a
dream in heaven. We had French fries perfect
done and entrecote with parsley butter and
for dessert we got figs served with whipped
cream flavored with brandy and sprinkled with
flaked butterscotch. At that moment I began
to wonder a little why the waiters were so nice
to us, but I found no reason other than we were
the only guests and so very young and pretty
and sober and still so very romantically in love
with each other. I dropped that wonder too. I
became a vegetarian a couple of years after we
had split up, but I still remember that meal in
late night as the most tasty and dreamlike meal
I have ever had. It’s now fifty years since I was
on the road in magic nights with a man like that
and I am no longer young and beautiful. But a
heart that loves never gets older than eighteen.

 

 

Mostly but not for this post, I write a poem first and choose next music and images to illustrate the text on the blog. But between my writing I listen to music and when I find a song I like, I google the lyric to read it. It’s for my joy and also for training my English and writing skills. But reading the lyric to this song I couldn’t understand a thing what is was about. So, more googling was required to get an understanding the text actually was about a trucker’s dream of love. It was a bit embarrassing for me my understanding in native English  and simple lyrics is so limited, given that I always write in English.

But anyhow, it all raised memories from my youth – I remembered trips with my first boyfriend who worked a time as a truck driver. Maybe the visit at the more exclusive and expensive restaurant was a way for my boyfriend to compensate me from a visit at a driver diner – the food was terrible and the men stared rude at me like I was a piece of meat. Disgusting and scary!

On another trip we came with our big truck to the little town Ystad (known as the town in Henning Mankell’s crime novels about Police Inspector Wallander). My boyfriend drove wrong and became stuck on the narrow streets. The front of the truck was at one street and in an angle the back was on another street. In a steep uphill! And the big truck was loaded with tons of soda bottles like Coca-Cola and Sprite. My boyfriend rushed the engine (whatever a native would say?) in a desperate try to back the truck. But we were stuck. It was about 3 or 4 AM Sunday morning and we could blushing see one after the other window lit by awakened people starring wildly at us. In a truck cab you sit high, but all we wanted was to sink low and die of shame. But my boyfriend kept his hot temper low and I kept my mouth shut and somehow we succeeded to get away from the trap. I don’t know how, but we did.

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To talk too much – or not talk at all?

Spain’s prime minister Mariano Rajoy

Catalonian President Carles Puigdemont

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We have in our world today a big mouthed leader who is an idiot… After having him as a pain in ass for the last year or more – his last words become like “okay…” (sigh) 😦 – as we don’t expect common sense from that direction anymore, but will cope with that stress by  take another spoon of that nasty tasting liquid against heartburn before bedtime, bravely hoping the world still will be there next day. Well, what else can you do?

Meanwhile the president in the White House man meet the critics from his foreign minister with a challenge to compare IQ tests, the Deputy Prime Minister Soraya Sáenz de Santamaria mock the president of Catalonia with saying
“The speech the president… gave today is that of a person who does not know where he is, where he’s going, nor who he wants to go there with.”

Source:
Madrid scorns Catalan leader’s independence statement
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-41576870

I would give that statement too a very low rank as a statement of intelligence. It’s stupid and arrogant and rude. It’s seems to me to be a statement by a nowadays leader standing ahead the teared wall from old Franco times.

With their negative attitudes the Spanish government risk their country to carry away to a civil war. Catalonia may have no “right” to negotiations, but for the own good Madrid should accept it, as “it” won’t go away. What will they otherwise do, take Puigdemont by the ear and send him to early bed without no night reading of a fairytale and no evening snack?

I don’t doubt the intelligence of world leaders. (Oh yes, I do!) I guess if testing they would get higher score than I would get. (Well… maybe not!) But intelligence is not about scores, it’s about how you use the intelligence you have to the benefit of those people you have power over.

Spain’s prime minister Mariano Rajoy

The Spanish government seems like authoritarian parents from the Freud’s century, carrying Franco’s whip in their back pockets – they are certainly out of time and on a (Re-) joyride that will lead to their own disaster. They don’t understand Catalonia leaders working for independence gladly would go to jail for what they believe in – if it would go that far. And such opponents you should be very careful to challenge. You can destroy an individual’s life, but never his or her cause.

For an outsiders’ point of view on this (internal) crisis, the Spanish Ministers in Madrid seems to act like they don’t know where they are, where they going and with whom they want to go wherever they go.

At least the Spanish government realize and admit they have a political crisis. But is it a crisis for the Spanish government or for Spain?

Catalonian President Carles Puigdemont

Rajoy threatens all the time with paragraph 155 but asks then “What do you want?” I don’t experience Puigdemont’s speech as confusing as reported to be in media: he simply said “we want independence but we don’t want any repression acts about it from you, so let’s talk.”

But Rajoy cannot talk about it.

(He’s like my Romeo. 😦 You stubborn donkey!)

 

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Hurry my love, hurry to love…

Birgitta Ulfsson, actor and theater director, died last Sunday October 8, 2017. She became 89 years old. (Born 1928). I didn’t know Birgitta Ulfsson personally, but I became sad to read that she had passed away as if she had been a friend. Her voice has been so strong and lively in me over the years because she was a reader of Tove Jansson’s books about the Moomin trolls. Strange, but it actually feels like someone connected to my childhood has died.

But I actually met her voice – and the Moomins – first through my son’s early interest for fantasy literature, it’s about 25 years back in time. The books about the Moomin family actually became his ticket into the fantasy literature. But I never got an interest in the fantasy genre, so I’ve stayed with Janson’s books about the Moomin family as fascinating fairy tales for both adults and children – and actually as psychological textbooks for greater self-awareness.

We listened both to cassettes and read the books in afternoons and evenings during my son’s childhood, the years before his teens. After he became an adult and left home, we have both independent of each other during the years sometimes reread any or another of the Moomin books.

A well-known follower through all years has also Birgitta Ulfsson’s recording of Tove Jansson’s ballad “Höstvisa” become. Of course very many other artists have performed this ballad. But it’s her version and voice that is planted in my soul. And now it’s gone. 😦

The lyric is written by Tove Jansson (1914 – 2001) and the music by the composer and pianist Erna Tauro (1915 – 1993. All three of them, Ulfsson, Jansson and Tauro were Finland-Swedes. For those unfamiliar with Scandinavian culture, I can tell that it means that they belonged to a linguistic minority in Finland with Swedish as their mother tongue.

Finnish as nationality but writing and speaking with a distinctly singing and highly articulated Swedish, this minority has had an overwhelming significance for Swedish cultural life and enriched it so much that it cannot enough be appreciated. It counts for composer, singers, actors as well as writers. Among many other strong personalities you can for example find the early modernist poet Edit Södergran (1892 – 1923).

The ballad about autumn was written and composed in 1965. Throughout all years I have experienced it as a romantic song, but not as a sad one. Now, after the message of Birgitta Ulfsson’s death, the song sudden feels so sad to me – and it feels like the song is more about the autumn time in human life than the season autumn. Life is so short and have an end, so hurry to love before it’s late – the song urges you!

The composer Erna Tauro once got the question of how to sing this ballad. She told: “Absolutely not melancholy! Neither Tove nor me are melancholic”. Yet and I’m sorry Erna, right now I’m melancholic… in a good way. 🙂

The ballad is written with the rhyme scheme ABAB CDCD EFEF GHGH IJIJ KLKL

I have worked hard with to make a translation with rhymes. But I’m not happy with what I accomplished so I’ve decided to make a translation with focus instead of the number of syllables in the every line. But I must tell I can’t neither sing nor play so I really don’t know if I get it right when working with lyrics to music. But I’m keen on a translation must follows the original carefully and that you only can change the words to overcome language differences. Everything else is really not translations but simply new poems inspired by the theme of the original. And I hate that. (There is nothing that can upset me more than to read translations of Swedish poems or lyrics into English! To see a poem become garbled make me actually more upset than to read Donald Trump himself saying something new nonsense on those media he calls “fake news”.)

Erna Tauro

Höstvisa Autumn ballad

The way home was very long and I didn’t meet anyone,
now the evenings gets chilly and short.
Come and comfort me a little, for I’m pretty tired now,
and suddenly so terrible alone.
I never noticed before that the darkness is so big,
walking around thinking of all what one should.
There are so many things I should had said and done,
and it was so very little I did.

Hurry my love, hurry to love,
The days darkens minute by minute.
Light our candles, it’s close to the night,
Soon the flowering summer is over.

I’m looking for something that we might have forgotten
and that you could help me to find.
A summer passes by, it is always as short,
It is the dream of what one could win.
Perhaps you come sometime before the dusk turns blue
before the meadows are dry and empty.
Perhaps we find each other, perhaps we’ll then
find a way to get everything to flower.

Hurry my love, hurry to love…

Now blows a storm out there and close the summer door
It’s too late for wondering and searching.
Maybe I love lesser than I did before
but more than you will ever get to know.
Now we see all lighthouses round the long autumn coast
and hear the waves wandering wildly.
The only thing important is the heart’s desire
and to be together with each other.

Hurry my love, hurry to love…

 

And so me trying to rhyme… 😦

 

The way home was very long and no one did I meet,
now the evenings gets chilly and late.
I’m tired in need of some comfort and a seat
sudden feeling in such a lonely state,
I didn’t noticed before how dark the darkness can be,
now I’m think a lot of all the things I should do ,
and all the things I should have said and done to thee
and how little I actually came to do.

Hurry my love, hurry to love,
the days passes faster than my song.
Light our candles, it’s close to the night,
Soon the flowering summer is gone.

I lock for what we might have overseen
and what you may can help me to explore.
A summer runs away too quick, always so keen
as it is the dream of all what could have been.
Maybe you’ll come before the dusk turns blue
and before the meadows dries and pale
Maybe we find a way back together that’s true
and get everything to flourish like in a fairy tale

Hurry my love, hurry to love…

Now a storm blows out there closing the summer door.
It’s too late to wonder and ponder and although
I may love lesser than I did before,
I still love more than you’ll ever know.
Now we see all lighthouses at the coast of fall
and hear the waves wildly wandering and roar.
Only one thing is important, it’s what the heart call
and be together as ever before

Hurry my love, hurry to love …

Tove Jansson and her life partner Tuulikki Pietilä

 

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