Walking today on a stony beach of doubts

I live in a lushy greenery area, but
I don’t believe in cosy things today.
Today I long for living by the sea
at a stony beach and no loose sand
between my toes. It’s cold outdoors,
but the sun heats my windows. And
I want to go out to cool down, I want
to be like that aged rock star in black,
singing with tensed vocal cords “you
could be my silver spring”. It’s just
about I today mistrust his sincerity.

 

 

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I see your face (tribute to love, hidden and forbidden )

Re-posted poem from October 2015. To M A and a tribute to all other lovers, fighting for their love against prejudices and violence.

pic from the site of The Carisbrooke Inn, Atlantic City’s gay friendly bed and breakfast

Trust / Minns alltid detta
(18 October, 2015)

You must always remember this:
evil has many faces and disguises,
but love has only one face and it is
naked and hide nothing, you are
sleeping now and trust hold you
in its tender arms through the dark
and cold night and there will be no
doubts when you let go of all your
fears, in your dream nothing can
go wrong and tomorrow you will
be free, for even far we are close,
your smile in my mind is my light.

 

Out in the dark, 2012

Du måste alltid minnas detta:
ondskan har många ansikten
och förklädnader, men kärleken
har endast ett ansikte och det är
naket och döljer ingenting, du
sover nu och Tillit håller dig i sin
ömma famn genom den mörka
och kalla natten, det finns inga
tvivel där när du släpper taget
om dina rädslor, i din dröm kan
inget kan gå fel och i morgon
kommer du att vara fri, för även
långt ifrån varandra är vi nära,
ditt leende är ljuset i mitt hjärta.

Posted in antagonists, Attraction, borders, create life, living in the world, love poem, Poem in Swedish, poem in Swedish and English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, rebellious lovers, sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

(A rose to my) cyber friends

 

 

 

 

 

I go to bed late at night and before
I fall asleep I recall the past day –
and I ask myself “Is this all there
is to my life?” I wake in mornings
facing a new day and I ask myself
the same! Silent space above –
I’m alone and on my own, but
that’s what I’m used to be.

Blindly I reach out for friends in
an infinite and uncertain space
that I once thought was empty.
And I can sense them breathe
when they are facing me and it
strengthen me and it warms my
heart. I’m so proud and blessed
to have them, all my friends in
cyberspace. They are like a rose
on my pillow when I go to sleep
at night and when I wakes up to
a new morning light.

A man offers a rose to a woman to mark International Women’s Day in Belgrade March 8, 2010. REUTERS/Marko Djurica

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once again (yes!) I make a try to put together a poem collection of my posts.  This is  a poem from one earlier year. I removed it now as it was not good enough – but I still found something in some lines to make a new poem of it. Must add: my mood is much better than this poem was first written. I had then been diagnosed with diabetes and became very badly sick of the medications. And the manuscript I had worked so hard with  24/7 and for weeks and sent on e mail to a book publisher, was lost because of online scammers. So I was depressed and exhausted at the time. Internet is really Janus-faced.
Yet and not to forget, I have met very nice people online.  I’m lucky to have 3 – 4 close friendships which have last for years now. But I have surely met hundreds and hundreds of short time friends – for better or worse… This is my thanks to those who were/are a nice company to me no matter for short or long time  – thank you! 🙂
Posted in create life, friendship, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, vänskap, walk of life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Raining

 

 

 

 

We call it “April weather”.
I sat the other day in my
dreary and cold room in
Sweden and sent him
a lonesome line:
“it’s raining..!”
Later that day I wrote:
“Still raining…!” Then he
came online and he wrote
from far away in Africa:
“So nice for you!”

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Rock me baby, I’m 68 years old today!

Yes, I become 68 years old today! Old old old, I’m told – but like all elderly people I not feel old at all. Well, that’s what everyone thinks from age 32 to 92.

Yes, but you know how we are, we mature people! Whatever what we say – in real life we try to adjust living to the real age.

Therefore I exercise every day to stay healthy and get even older. My hobbies are gardening, my grandchildren and knitting. Now and then I have a coffee with my few but nice female friends and we also like to go on weekend trips to Holland and look at tulips and Vermeer.

I have a Wednesday group at the church there I live, where we teach unfortunate immigrants to converse in Swedish. Everyone can now say “thank you very much” and “coffee” in Swedish…

I have (of course) a male friend of “my age”, a widower who lives on his own, taking care of his own laundry and garden and grandchildren. We meet on Friday evenings for dinner and friendly and not too demanding hugs. Just to stay healthy, you know!

Johannes Vermeer The Lace maker

Yes, well – that’s how it should be…

But to tell you the truth (I don’t know if I dare!) – I have actually no grandchildren and no garden. I never knit. But I did, I have to admit when I was young and in my 20s.

I wish I was slim, but I’m not. I’m fat. And I hate fitness and I can’t handle small talks. Although even 68, my hair is only a little bit gray but not much. It’s a heritage from my father, who kept his origin hair color to old age. Well, he never became that old, he died at 71. Yes, it’s scary close my age…

I look at least 10 years younger than my age and it’s a heritage for my mother. (She died at age 76!) People who see me only on photos, believes the pics are retouched and that I try to scam people. It happens I gets blamed for it, but I think that’s a bit unfair, really!

I have no female friends around me, but I wish I had. I certainly not join any church groups, as I dislike all religions. I don’t teach anyone anything, but I have a “sister” who I avoid and she thinks I’m very political and radical and outspoken in public. Yes well, I admit – I do lecture people (if I get the chance, but I certainly don’t …)

I don’t have a man “in my age” in my life for social dinners and nice and purposeful hugs with no complications. No, but I live alone with a cat and spend my days writing poetry about love and passion as I were 35 years old, still hot but not shy anymore. I have no sex life, but I have a long distance romance with a much younger man with a sexy beard and nice looking legs.

I love him but he drives me crazy with his conservative opinions about religion, politics, sex, women and homosexuality and whatever can be – it all would be understandable if he were a young man living around 1817, but it’s not for a young man at the year of 2017. So actually he’s much older than me!

What more to say? Well, I don’t let age effects my doing. No, but I’m really scared to be old and grow older, because that force me to face my personal death.

That’s something you can’t say loudly as the instant response from the other is “no one knows who dies first, it can be me”. It’s so annoying! Oh, it can be true – but it’s not much of a comfort, really! My straight road is shortened! It’s a fact and I don’t like it – but I want to be allowed to talk about it!

But now I greet you all: “May I live forever, but may YOU live forever and a day….”

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The key to my mind

I don’t know why I began to love
you, as love came without warning
from nowhere and will not go away
but remain. We were “just friends”
and now we try to understand this
unlikely love affair. But love is an
enigma nobody to understand.

I fear at times this love for you is
something I have made up in my
mind to give my life joy, purpose
and meaning. As life is not good
without dreams and hopes. But
you are so scary real and present!

You said you’re still searching for
the key to my mind to understand
how I reason. Because my mind is
a mystery to you – and you think
you must understand me to be able
to live with me.

But as long as you love me you’re my
reason and that is what you need to
understand. You are the key to me.

 

 

Posted in Attraction, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, vänskap | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You scares me now

I’ve went to bed happy and I’ve went to bed
sad and sometimes I’ve went to bed anxious
and worried of what will be of this “we” that’s
you and me. And yes I admit, now and then
I’ve also went to bed so very angry. And it all
because of you. But last night and after I had
turn off the light I was sudden filled with fear.
This fear didn’t want to leave me but stay and
I woke up this very morning with a headache.
Yes, you scares me now, just coming closer.

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Togetherness

John Bauer (1882-1918)
Prince in Moon land 1907

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Each opinion having more than two adherents becomes a group, which soon enough creates a set of rules and rituals to promote the group’s survival and then a strictly worded creed will be demanded by the individual for to be embraced by the group’s warm holiness – but that is nothing for me. I have to break up and leave to walk my own way. Although I hate loneliness, I hate equal much and intense the oppression in togetherness.

But twosomeness is something I strive and craves for. Still, howsoever eager my heart is – it always seems to be abandoned or neglected and end up alone in a studio apartment with a kitchenette. It’s only me and the cat and a closet stuffed with my pink romantic dreams – and at times tears under the blanket in dark nights.

All the time you knew me I was a real person, one of a million. You could have welcomed me in your life and been proud to be loved by someone as unique as I am. But you came and went again and again and you talked my head full about your love for me and you got me to suffer and cry. And without a word of farewell you threw me away, as if I were nothing but a bag of garbage.

In disarray, yet all that’s me is the same as before. But on the floor is all the trash you made of what was you and me and trust. And it must be dealt with and I won’t hide it in shame, but look at what happened between us and document the findings of my investigations, anyone to see or read. No space for hard feelings in what is objectified!

But who tells what dwells inside others shells!

I hide much hate in my heart, gathered during a long and troublesome life. But I do not allow the hatred to control me. It’s just my compass that always shows truly what actually was done to me. I don’t forget or forgive. I just don’t want to be reminded about it, but let it go.

When you pulled yourself away in hurt silence for weeks and weeks, I felt (and feel) like you exercises power over me to punish me – and that you never loved me for real? But if your love was only a pretending to be, I’m still proud someone as desirable as you chose to pretend being in a relationship with me. And you made me stronger, smarter and braver than ever before – but though only by leaving me? That last is too hard!

You really want to stay with me – and you wish you could leave me. But you don’t want me to be such a fighter. And you wonder how someone so kind to you can give you so many troublesome conflicts, tear you apart?

And common sense tells us both “you and I” will never work, even if our hearts disagree with that statement and suffers.

But what is “common sense”? Well, it’s nothing that comes from two lovers’ hearts, it comes from the surroundings everybody belongs to and are corded to. It is groups and groups and groups… only to think about them at all, it is smothering me.

Please love me, but don’t put a bridle on me.

 

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I kissed a Muslim man and I liked it

I kissed a Muslim man and
I liked it. I’ve nobody to tell
and no one can ever know
in a world of hatred. I kissed
a man and I liked it. I still do.
I’ve nobody to tell and
no one can know.

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Some thoughts about the art of writing and the art of reading

 

 

 

 

To write words and get it right is not always easy, but it’s nothing to compare with the shock it can be, getting to know what the person reading you believes you have written!

I hope imaginative interpretations most appears in the reading of poems and listening to song lyrics – and less as possible in our daily life communications and rational reading for information. If that happens as often as for poems and songs, it is really a disaster for us. Then we should consider to stop use words as tools and maybe mime instead – as it then would be obvious for us we are guessing trying to interpret the other’s message to us.

It would be good if people could avoid to put their personal values in artistic words. Yes, I actually think so – in these times when so much is politicized and violent and words are given bad contents that was not meant to be, but putting at risk to harm people around you.

As I remembered from reading an interview, Bono in U2 once said he was a bit surprised the song “With or without you” often has come to be played at weddings.

Yes, it is really surprising! Just listen to the words actually told in the song! If listening, then the happy two maybe would give the marriage a second thought!

“Save us all” is a lovely song  by Tracy Chapman. But I can’t figure out why Christian singers happily sings this words in churches? At best this song tells you “to save us all” from hallelujah singers. And I think Chapman said something like that too about this song.

(Quoting Chapman: “I…thinking about how we sometimes need to be saved from the people who think they need to save us.”)

Another nice song is the old hit by Norman Greenbaum “Spirit in the Sky” from 1969. He sung about Jesus in a tune as if he didn’t know the guy (and he didn’t, he was and is a Jewish believer). Christians should not embrace this song and use it, but call it a blasphemy. It is actually.

But I read on the comments on YouTube a guy say he wanted this song played on his funeral. That is so strange to me! Well… why not also hot babes at the funeral marching to the grave, dancing cancan?

To write words is not easy, no! But you just have to learn to let it go when you once have published your words. You may still have the copyright, but you don’t own the understanding of your texts anymore. Now the reader becomes the writer, writing with clouds on the blue sky as a screen meanings of your lyrics you never would have guessed could be…

So it’s lost. But you are anyway on a new track, writing on something else and new …

 

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Goodnight Donny, goodnight you all!

Goodnight Donny!
It’s late and I’ve been sitting up looking at a replay of the Pelican Brief on TV. It must be the tenth time I’ve watched this movie, I like it for some reason, I don’t know… Well, I just want to say a last goodnight to you and all others in the world, before I close my eyes for what can be the last time in my life.  Because you have teased a despot who is as dangerous, unreasonable and mad as a rabid dog… And therefore, Donny boy, you have put us all at the risk there will be no tomorrow for any of us. But I hope you still are able to sleep well these last nights on earth, despite your unfortunate inability to think twice before you let your duck-beak clatter.
Greetings vonnely

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A dreary dawn in April

 

 

 

 

 

A dreary dawn in April: a couple
of hours more sleep had
done me good!

You’re with me and as I know
all about you: You’ll sleep for
another hour.

Asleep or awake, you’ll carry me
with you forever. (And vice versa.)

I have 4 different pairs of glasses,
but I can still not see where I have
put my eye drops for pollen allergy!

My neighbor on ground floor let her
dog out and then she unkindly roar
at the dog – as she always does!

It bothers me and I go out on my
balcony! But the dog is already
back indoors and rant is over.

It has started to rain.

I also return indoors and have my
coffee and  cheese sandwiches.
And then I go back to bed
to complete my sleep.

I feel your presence. All the time!
A glance at the clock: you have
woken now.

Back in bed I listen to a wood dove
hooting in the grove beyond
the house.

It rocks me to sleep and I sleep
all day until evening and wakes
as tired as ever before.

I will never get over you!
(Vice versa?)

 

 

 

En trött grå gryning i April –
ett par timmars mera sömn
hade gjort mig gott!

Du är här hos mig, förstås. Jag
som vet allt om dig: du kommer
att sova ännu en timme.

Sovande eller vaken, du bär mig
med dig för evigt. Vice versa.

Jag har fyra olika par glasögon,
men ser ändå inte var jag har lagt
ögondropparna för pollenallergin!

Så hör jag hör grannen på bottenplan
släppa ut sin hund och sedan argt
ryta åt den – som hon alltid gör!

Det stör mig illa och jag går ut på
balkongen! Men hon har redan fått
in hunden och gormandet är över.

Det har börjat att regna.

Jag går in igen och dricker kaffe
och äter ostmackor. Snart nog
återvänder jag till min säng
för att sova färdigt.

Jag känner din närvaro. Hela
tiden. En blick på klockan: du
har vaknat nu.

Tillbaka i sängen lyssnar jag på
en ringduvas doande i dungen
bortanför huset.

Jag somnar till det sövande ljudet
och sover hela dagen och vaknar
i kvällningen – lika trött.

Jag kommer aldrig att komma
över dig! (Vice versa?)

Posted in love poem, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Moored in your dreams

This following poem is inspired by a poem by Karin Boye (1990 – 1941), a Swedish classical poet. Please observe, this is not a translation of one of her poem, only  inspired by one, so  this poem is all mine.

I hope you’re not fine and calm at all
but lies awake and wish you could call.
And feeling oddly happy and yet so sad,
anxious and confused of what went bad?

Then you hurry to try to get some sleep –
want to forget me and never ever weep.
I hope you stay awake with me a bit more –
I hope I’m in your dreams forever will moor!

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The end of a love story (I hope you will burn in hell!)

There is a nice poem by Robert Louis Stevenson (the man who also wrote the novel “Treasure Island”). The poem is called “Love What Is Love”:

LOVE – what is love? A great and aching heart;
Wrung hands; and silence; and a long despair.

Life – what is life? Upon a moorland bare
To see love coming and see love depart.

Moorland Landscape with Bare Trees
Walter Bertram Potter (1872–1918)

But – as Proud Mary/Ms.Tina Turner used to say: “But somehow, we never ever seem to do nothing completely nice and easy… You know what, you know what?? Because we like to do it nice – and rough….”

The backside of  love sentiments can surely make your sweet angel to a big fat she-devil:

The movie “She-Devil” from 1989 (Roseanne Barr)

I hope you will burn in hell (end of a love story)

It’s too much of dying, too little of living in life,
haunted and handcuffed by anxiety and fears
and phobias. But you made me feel so vibrant
as your youthful immaturity, alluring love and
the intellectual inertia you prefer to have as
your life compass – it all surely provoked me
to become even more brilliant – than before!
But you abandoned me brutally like only one
immature lover would do – and now I fear to
see the dreary backsides of life. But you know
me so well – I’m not a forgiver. Even if I don’t
believe in hell, l know well you do and fear it.
And you know I curses those who let me down.
And that’s what you have done! So you’ve to
live with that! But me – I won’t bother to think
of you anymore. You’re simply like dead to me.

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A field of tulips would have bloomed

 

 

 

 

 

en ensam flöjt skulle ha spelat din ton
ett fält av tulpaner borde ha blommat
en varm vind vänligt dansat, ett leende
kunde nu ha skimrat på mina läppar av
det du är, men all som finns är tystnad
och frånvaro, inte ens en sorg bär jag här

 

 

a lone flute should have played your tune
and a field of tulips would have bloomed
a warm wind could kindly have danced
and my lips should so shimmering smile
all because of you, but all there is silence
and absence, I’m not even carry a grief

 

 

 

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Yes, but there are limits for love!


I once wrote a post called “Love has no limits”. I can’t in the minute recall the content, but I think it was about the discrimination of homosexual people in the world (outside Scandinavia). Life though teach you more the harsh way and I must now add – there are certain limits for love you can’t transgress.

 

Here is a moral story as an example:

A woman (in Europe) met some years ago a man from North Africa on a web site and one thing led to another. A longtime friendship over a couple of years led to a romance. And they certainly came to talk about meeting. The conversations also revealed the two hoped for more than a coffee and talk…

But sadly neither of them were wealthy and had in reality no money for any travels abroad. So this travel plans for meeting were on ice for a time – as a wish for the future they though believed would become true one day. Yet it was obvious it would be easier for the woman to travel than for the man, because of the general and economic difficulties to get a tourist visa to her country.

And time passed… Getting to know each other better, fragments stories of past life came up in their chats, such as life conditions and earlier relations and sexual experiences.

The man in this story lives in a country there unmarried sex is a crime, there women are expected to be virgins when they marry. If a family girl “gets in circumstances” (meaning get pregnant without being married), she is banned and thrown out of the family home to live on the street – if not finding another place to stay. The only way to survive is on prostitution.

On the other hand young men are supposed to “respect” family girls and not scandalize them with their sexual desires. So their sexual experiences comes from what the particular man in this story discreetly called “paid sex”.

That’s what he told when the woman asked him about his earlier relationships, “you pay for it”. Little did he know that the woman would react negatively on this accidentally given information!

There came to a pause in the romance after this disastrous information. (She lost her sexual desire for him and distrusted their friendship too.) But – she missed him and decided to forget about this “culture conflict” and continue the relationship.

It was not the first “culture conflict” they have had, but it was the worst – so far. He had “of course” not a clue he was “forgiven” for anything . as he in his own eyes always had behaved morally good in life. Furthermore – and still in his eyes, she was the moral missing link because she was not religious and was therefore doomed to hell.

He had once told her he hated hypocrites.  Now she claimed he was exactly that – a hypocrite! He was baffled and didn’t understand why this “insult” sudden came from her.

But – and to shorten the story a bit… the woman told him later, when the travel plans came up again, he had to go for a HIV testing (STD testing) before she would travel to see him. He refused with a simple “no”. She was shocked.“You say NO? Are you kidding me?” He did not!

When she insisted, he told her (patiently) people in his country  was aware that this sickness exits! But he did not believe he had it. And therefore he would  not do any testing. Simply! Furthermore he claimed she should trust him as he had always been “careful”. He did not say what this “careful” was about. But he did tell her he had made the testing 3 years earlier and since then only have had sex with one female friend, last 4 months ago.

She asked who the woman was and he said she was just a friend – one of the girls he and his friends used to socialize with in evenings on cafes…

“Oh!”, she said.

Because she had (of course) googling a lot about his country and knew from many sources family girls are not allowed to go out in evenings with young men that way. Those girls seen in the night life are prostitutes, or considered to be prostitutes.

”Who are you trying to fool, me or yourself”, she asked him. “What do you mean”, he asked.

She did not answer that particular question. But  kept on insisting on he had to test himself. And he refused again – and again. And again! But he also told her he was very proud over himself for this denials – because he could have lied to her, namely! But he did not, he said. He “would not go and test himself and he would not lie to her about it”, he declared, proud of himself.

Oh, what a hero!

But this was the end of discussion. As far it came to him.

Not for her though. “Do you think you are dealing with a woman in your country”, she said rough. “What do you mean”, he asked. She did not explain herself.

Apparently he felt honorable, yes – he did not violate family girls, and he did not see any wrong in “paid sex”, and he did not lie to her about refusing to test himself – and furthermore, he loved her! So she should trust him, he claimed.

And that was that! This was actually the end of this romance.

But…  She did not want to give him up! Even though she felt repulsed hearing him saying things like he said. No, but she told him he would be crazy if he thought she would accept to have sex with him under those conditions he postulated.

“Now you did it again”, he said instant upset. “Did what?”, she asked. “Called me crazy”, he said. “It’s a common expression in English”, she said (patiently). “It simply mean your arguments are not sensible.” But he did not accept that explanation from her. She had insulted him!

“Listen, whatever – you have to go testing yourself”, she said again. “What you told me is a risk behavior and whatever your personal view is about it, it’s irrelevant – but you ask me to ‘trust you’!! I would be crazy in your interpretation of the word to even consider to be in the same room as you!”

“And I will never travel to see you under such conditions!”

With no more words he stopped writing to her without even end the relationship, and did not answer any of her “hello?”

Facts: This man has lived in the same city all his life. The official medical reports in his country, tells that the presence of HIV disease is higher and more rampant among sexually promiscuous people in this city than other cities around the country. And he had said to her: “I have had paid sex in many years and so often I can not even remember how many times …”

The End of the End:

The woman comment the silence from the man, by saying to her adult son: “This is beyond all limits: I would have had to go to the vet to vaccinate the cat for be able to board her on a cat shelter while I would travel abroad to see him. I would certainly have to pay for this care – and I guess it’s not cheap. I would have had before travel go to health center to vaccinate myself. I would have to ensure I have enough insulin with me and having a proper health insurance. I would have to involve you in this to go with me as I have never traveled alone abroad so far before. I would have been forced to take a loan I can’t afford to be able to pay for the travel, for the hotel and for food. I would have had to contact our embassy in his country, recommended to do of political reasons. And he? What would he do??? Nothing! He even refused to go to the nearest health center to take a simple HIV test. This is so bad!”

“So you finally got the picture of this guy”, said the woman’s son dryly.

“What’s he sudden said!”, the woman thought surprised. Though she pretended not to hear his negative comments, but said: “God, what he has humiliated me!. I feel so devastated over all this!”. “Well, just forget about it”, her son said. “I want to rent a cottage for us nearby this summer and take the cat with us …”

Note my moral call with the story: Even if the woman in this story had been wealthy and used to travel around the world on her own, she would never had travelled to meet him. Because love has limits. If a man (or a woman) refuses to go and test himself or herself for sexual diseases when meeting a new partner – and demands you to “trust” him/her, this person abuses you, and this even before initiating the relationship. It is not love!

Once she asked him “But if your sister became pregnant without being married?” “Then she would have to pay for her mistake for the rest of her life”, he said. “And you talks about the loving and caring family ties in your culture”, she said.

 

Posted in Attraction, borders, love story, manly body, morality, rebellious lovers, sexuality, Short prose, short story, vänskap, walk of life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Well, Mr. President! It happened this Friday in Sweden!

Well, Mr. President! It happened this Friday in Sweden! We got our first terror attack in Stockholm just before 3 pm Swedish time. Undoubtedly a personal greeting to Trump for the missile attack in Syria last night. Of course it was only a matter of time before Stockholm would become the target, but I’m convinced it’s Trump’s interest for  pointing the finger at Sweden decided the target this time. It’s personal for Trump.

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It’s never darkest before dawn

It’s never at the darkest before dawn
(in summertime and now in Sweden).
And “now”, it’s me on my own again!

Yet, I’m happy it has come as far as
until April, though the meadows still
are dreary dead in beige. It’s the days
when spring moves slow, just before
all greenery explosively bursting out.

But the mornings are already bright
and there’s many hours of daylight
to blissful swim around in – before
next dusk. (But only think of him.)

All over the sunny coltsfoot sticks up
their heads as if they are trying to
cheer you up when you daring out for
a walk – sweaty in winter jacket, but
too chilly for a summer jacket.

But I can’t ignore the disgusting
piles of rotting, stinking dog poops
on the road sides. “What is hidden
in snow, comes forth in the thaw”,
the proverb say. (He disliked me
snorting in disgust over his dirt!)

And the flowering willows and all
the trees gives an instant need of
eye drops for pollen allergy (but –
I can’t help loving him anyway!)

I heard a few nights ago the swans
screaming as they flew nearby sky.
And when I looked out I saw how
a third swan tried to make a pass
at that pair who used to nest at
the pond nearby my house. (And
yes – I’m still jealous, even over!)

But the swan couple has already
sorted it out and built their new nest –
I discovered it and them too at my walk
yesterday. (Not a word from him and
yet we came so far we talked about it.)

It’ll be good when the whole fields of
white anemones conquers and cover it
all. I look forward the coming summer –
to fill my mind with other topics – not
all about him all the time. Yes, to forget
my tender feelings for him – “forever”.

“Forever”, bah! But we need rain now!

It darkens the minutes before the rains
comes. Sun will hide behind evil blue
clouds and birds silenced and hiding.
Even the magpies holds back – it feels
a bit chilly, it’s surely “cardigan time”.
(His warm embrace in memory.)

And I hurry to fetch the laundry hanging
out to dry in the garden. Well, it’s only in
my memory – I have no garden anymore.

It’s not at the darkest before the dawn –
no, it’s only darkest just before the worst
has happened. And my eyes cannot see
any dark, my ears hear the birds singing
carefree. I’m not cold and – and he comes
back to me! Because it is not over before
it’s over! And I know it’s not over yet!

it’s actually me April 24, 2011

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“Forever love”

Misstro den som förklarar ”för evigt”.
Allt som är levande bär sin egen död.
Kärlek är mest önskan och villfarelse.
Jag lyssnade till hans ”jag älskar dig”,
men valde att inte höra det följande
löftet om ett ”för evigt. Och ”för evigt”
visade sig ju vara kortlivat.

 

 

Distrust the one who declares “forever”!
Everything that is living carries its death.
Love is mainly desire and deception.

I listened to his “I love you” and chose
not to hear the following promise of a
“forever” and “forever” surely showed
to be short-lived.

Posted in poem in English and Swedish, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems by vonnely, Poetry, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The empty folder (1 important)

 

 

 

 

I could block you on my e-mail and
on my phone (as if you’d call!). I could
delete the folder with all your selfies to
“Recycle bin” then when asked “Do you
want to permanently delete the selected
item(s)?” answer YES! YES! But no…

I might still want to look at your photos
as you’re still on my mind. And I doubt
in the now “time” will give me the grace
to forget you. You were not as I thought
you would be (Eve in the Garden said)
and to lose you might be for the best? I
only wish I’ve had some impact on you
making you reflect on things at times.

 

 

 

 

Jag skulle kunna blockera dig på mailen
och på telefonen (som om du skulle ringa!).
Jag skulle kunna slänga mappen med alla
dina selfies i ”Papperskorgen” och på frågan
“vill du ta bort den här mappen permanent?”
svara JA! Men du finns likväl i mina tankar
och jag tvivlar i stunden på att “tiden” ska ge
mig nåden att glömma dig. Du var inte som
jag trodde att du skulle vara och att förlora
dig är väl till det bästa? Jag hoppas ändå att
jag har haft en viss inflytande på dig, så att
du framöver vill tänka till lite grand ibland.

 

 

Posted in love poem, poem in Swedish and English, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ashes

I fell asleep and I dreamed
the ground was covered with
soft grey ashes. I was barefoot
and the ashes were still lukewarm.
“So be it”, he said to me. I woke up.

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Who needs a man when you have a cat?

photo YB my cat Maja

Han har dragit sig tillbaka
och byggt en Trumpsk mur
av tystnad och han låter mig
betala för den. Två dagar av
total tystnad och allt av ljud
som har hörts här hemma är
kattens spinnande. Hon sover
i min säng och hon blinkar så
vänligt när jag vaknar – det är
då en plötslig suck undslipper
mig och jag hör en röst inom
mig säga: ”Men vem behöver
en karl – när man har en katt?”

 

 

 

He has receded and built
a Trumpish wall of silence
and he lets me pay for it.
Two days of total silence
and the only sound heard
at home is my purring cat.
She sleeps in my bed and
she blinks so friendly at me
when I wake up. It’s then a
sudden sigh eludes me and
a voice inside me say: “But
who needs a man – when
you have a cat?”

woman with a cat, Pablo Picasso 1900

Posted in poem in English and Swedish, poem in Swedish translated to English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I want to take you higher

Rita Hayworth and Fred Astaire rehearsing on the set of “You were never lovelier” 1942

You know I miss you and there’s
a need in me for you, no matter
how you act and behave and I
know well you miss me too and
you’ll not be good without me.
So where do we go from here?
You seems to think silence will
do it for you? If that’s what you
want to have – you’ll get it! But
think for a while if love really is
about act out proud and power?
Missing won’t give you anything
but missing and I know you miss
me as much as I miss you! Only
my total lack of interest in pride
and power can save you now –
as I want to take you higher!

Posted in create life, love poem, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

If I were a lesbian?

I’m not in general attracted to women. But as a girl child I dreamed about look like Audrey Hepburn. (A very unrealistic dream!) As older I like the Joan Jett look. So I must fancy a certain female look? Yet there’s only one girl in this world (so far) making me think “If I were a lesbian”... because she’s so hot!

It’s a dancer at Tina Turner show during later years. I have even looked her up, found her name – and a bit disappointed also found out it’s superior and only her performances with Tina Turner that turns me on. I check Tina-videos time to time on Youtube only to look at this dark-haired sexy dancer. Those stage performances with Tina makes her glow and bloom of both of sensuality and sexiness (no, it is not the same thing!) Her name is Clare Turton Dericco. And I love her dark hair and her haircut with the bangs over one eye and her cute little tummy and all her moves… mama mia!

 

If I were a lesbian
I had desired Clare,
conditionally to
how she danced
with Tina on stage
before an audience.

If I were a lesbian,
I’d asked for your
unconditional love,
not to be directed to
private rooms, hidden
from the public eye.

 

 

 

 

 

I’m happy to live in a country there homosexuals are accepted and protected by the society and there it is a criminal act to hurt them and offend them. I don’t deny there are prejudices people here and that hate crimes occurs in Sweden too. But life here is so far much better than in Asia, Africa or Russia.

A young brat from Tunisia, one of many pen pals coming and running off, once wrote me I have a stone instead of brain in my head. Because I in a conversation we had, denied his statement homosexuality is scientifically proven as a mental illness (to be treated).

Surely he wanted to offend me, but the image of me with a stone in my head was and remains just laughable – a statement as such about me falls on its absurdity. And I also laughed when I read it because I had just the very same minute been thinking this guy really had a brick in the head.  😀

However, I had the good taste and courtesy not to tell him.

It may be the difference between a female brain-stone and a manly brain-brick? No, I’m only joking, but it’s certainly the difference between to be truly tolerant and having good manners and claim to be tolerant but in reality being intolerant and having bad manners.

But it’s very right sexuality is a brain “thing” and has nothing to do with any emotional heart condition or the specific equipment’s of the genitals – or “lifestyle” for that matter. It’s shocking that people born into a certain religion demands acceptance from the world around for their certain religious beliefs for at the next take the right to deny, oppress and persecute people born with a certain sexuality or gender.

Yes,  homosexuals and women have the rights to live free from patriarchal and religious repression. That is a cornerstone for all people living free. No exceptions. “God” is not so intolerant that he would approve to the oppression of his own creations.

This young man claimed he respect others as long they respect him. When I did not agree with him in those matters we discussed, he experienced it as if I was disrespecting him… Which – I guess –  would allow him to repressive consequences to the other…?? In this certain told situation the consequence was the young man became unreasonable upset and verbal offensive.

Some people in Africa – both North Africa and the rest of the continent – takes the liberty to claim that everything in the West (people living in West and our habits) are bad, oppressive, atheistic, prejudiced, ignorant and racists. All this while in Africa there are loads of sexual abuses of small children, persecution and violence of homosexuals and mutilation of girls and severe oppression of women and children, a nonexistent free media and grave and high corruption – and all this is common rather than exceptions and the major cause of poverty, preventing any developments towards social welfare and health for the people.

But many Africans in common say and believe, all those anomalies is all due to European colonialism once and the repression from the whites and it is the fault of intervention from US. It’s like a “blah blah blah blah…” and they think they will get away with it, this bullshit talk! For them it is not at all self-made in the now. And individual Europeans are expected to be stay silent in shame of the past and take the crap from “the poor disadvantaged ones”, cowardly fearing to otherwise be accused of racism, or whatever. All while West societies goes on load money into the continent for charity and trades, making the local and corrupt rich ones richer.

Oh no, it is time to be treated and talked to as being an equal. So be it! And no one can tell me homosexuality is “disgusting” and asking me for to respect that kind of opinion and its deeds, because I think that is so utterly disgusting and unacceptable. And it’s actually criminal deeds! 😦

It will never become acceptable. Just face it.

 

 

 

Posted in Africa, Attraction, borders, create life, inspiring music, living in the world, love poem, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, politcs, sexuality, Sweden view, walk of life, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Please me, please!

Maybe our very own sexuality is not about which genders we are attracted to, or how we like to “do it”, or how often or rare we want to “do it”, but how we relate to other people with our bodies?

My pondering about what commands our sexual acting boiled down to this hypothesis – that the base of sexuality in practice is we’re dealing with two opposite character types, the “self-oriented” personality contra the “self-forgetting” character.

If you belong to the first type your motivation for having sex is to satisfy your own sexual drive, your object is your own ego. Your primary focus is “me” and “my needs”. Sex is a clearly utilitarian activity: you have a physical need and you satisfy it. With whom or how is incidental.

If you are “the self-forgetting type” on the other hand, you only have sex with another person because you are sexually attracted to this special person and desire her or him. Your primary focus is “you” and not “me” and your desire is to possess the object for your passion. Attraction is your drive. You tell your partner “I want to make you happy”. Because that is what makes you happy.
You want romance.

This is two radically different and contrary sexual conditions – and no, they can NOT exist and work together in the same body and mind at the same time. They may seemed to cooperate in a sexual activity as the ego focused person certainly can fall in love – and the romantic person certainly have sexually urges. But the own sexual behavior over time shows a significant difference in the approach to others. It’s a difference in the brain functions in this two types.

If you in your youth have focused your sexuality to satisfy your own psychically needs, with anyone coming in your way – in practice: masturbated with another body as a tool – then you have trained your body to a sexuality that can’t provide mutuality, but is disconnected to romantic love. Love and sex are two different things in your brain. They are of antagonistic character. You have lost your sensitivity.

Later in life you may marry, but a long time relationship will not change the way you’ve trained your body and brain. You have taught your body a certain way to function and to enter into a romantic and longtime lasting relationship will not change your body’s preferences. “It’s just sex, it means nothing”, you explains it to those who not understand your sexual interests. You are a dog.

You are the kind who expects your partner to satisfy your “needs” in a relationship to stay faithful and you talk about sexuality in terms of “needs”. The expression “he don’t get what he needs at home”, illustrates this kind of sexuality. Cheating on your spouse is in this perspective “the other’s fault”.

Sex is above all to be able to communicate. And if you are not? If you are not able to communicate with your partner?

The other and opposite kind of sexual character can’t force himself or herself to have intercourse without being romantically involved in a partner. This kind of person depresses the sexual drive when being single and may live long periods in life without having sex. This person is a puritan in sexual matters. But being a puritan don’t tell any about a person’s libido. Even being a “sleeping beauty” not having a love relation, this personality can have a very vivid and strong libido when having a relationship.

The demands then on the partner is not then to fulfill “needs” but to respond with the same intense passion and all the time. This type can also be called the “moral type”.

pic from the TV serial “Doctor Foster”

I would not say the other is any better than the further. It’s not about that – but about how do you communicate? The problem that both this types brings into a relationship are obvious. The question I want to raise is – what happens if the immoral type – the dog – and the moral type – the puritan – becomes romantically involved with each other?

Can they build a working relationship with each other? Or are they doomed to become unhappy together? Is one doomed to please the other, in order to keep the relationship? Is one doomed to fake passion now and then, to get domestic peace?

Are any of these two capable to understand what causes disappointments and dissatisfactions with the outcome of the relationship in the other?

Ultimately, sexuality is communication. But if two brains not works the same way, how can a couple in a relationship come to a consensus?

Oh, but maybe this is simply what is called “marriage”? (I wouldn’t know having no personal experience of a long time marriage situation.) But even in marriage as in sex there must be communication, yes? For a good outcome, I mean. I would like to believe it’s more to “marriage” than to only coexist!

Well, I’m just asking questions. I have no answers.

 

 

 

 

 

Midnight chat

She: Were you in love with her?
He: We were just close friends and things end to have relationship in bed.
That’s the whole story
She: Why?
He: I knew her for a long time.
She: That is not a reason to have sex.
He: We used to go out with groups of friends, boys and girls. We were just friends.
She: And that is what your sisters do too?
He: Come on! What’s bring my sisters to that topic!
She: So it was not just “girls and boys”, “just friends” then. Who do you want to fool? Me? Or yourself?
He: Sorry. I wish you a good night. Take care.
She: Now again you want to sleep instead of sort things out!
She: Is this you how you will always do with me when we have a conversation you don’t like?
She: Bottom-line is what you want with me.
She: Hello?

 

 

 

“I want to kiss you” by Bassey Ikpi:
“I want to kiss you. shadow your jaw like against touch. touch you scent of musk. saltwater and sea foam clean. want to kiss you near God. Amongst strangers I dare either to stop me. Keep me. Want to kiss you bitter. Tired of waiting, wondering. Want to kiss you empty. Steady as forever. Small as favor. Maybe kiss you curve where shoulder meets neck or silk of throat. Perhaps rough of chin, inside elbows, wrists, then rest, smooth of chest. Back, hip to hip. Dip of belly. Want to hold you and twine like vows. Palm against palm. Fingers laced and waiting. I want to kiss you unbroken, before too many hearts snap like dried and dead things. This longing, like fire, like hunger, like nothing before or since. Just one, small, solitary kiss. No questions. No worries. No words. Just a kiss. Quiet. Quick. Subtle. Silent. It’ll probably speak volumes.”
Posted in Attraction, love poem, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, sexuality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A book is written

A book is written.
We’re at the end of
a story we wanted to
begin. I guess I’ll cry
tomorrow, off and on.
I guess he’ll also do.
All while life goes on
around us as before.
The book is written.
It ends like this.

Posted in love poem, manly body, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, short story, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Proposal

 

 

 

Happiness is an overrated condition.
I cannot do it more than five minutes
at a time. So, let’s get a flat and a bed
and a fridge for two – and get over it!
Yes, become like normal people with
a life together. I see your radiant face,
it looks like if the sun is shining hard
on you – but your face shines because
you look at me! And I feels like I have
a lamp brilliant in my head and its light
pierces out of my eye sockets and it’s
all because of you. And this all together
with time – it’s quite unbearable. Verily,
I love you but happiness is an overrated
condition. It’s like become exhausted by
too much sunbathing. Simply too much
passion – all that love stuff! So let’s take
a break! You can go out on town with all
your friends and I back away to my
writing lair… Shall we?

Posted in love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tailing to dog? (Living in the English language)

I feel like I’m tailed at the moment? Some to dog me on my own blogs? Well, what can one do?  I lives on and spend my days as I use to do – read and write, eat and sleep, watching the news and a walk my dog…

I begin my day with reading news on the web. After Trump’s pompous entrance on the world stage I also try to read  American web papers.

Reading, one could think would be a good training to improve the English. And I’m always on a try to read a novel to improve my English – but I usually hit the wall at the first page, because my vocabulary is (still!) too limited. Novels are actually harder in practical reality than writing.

Well, poetry is what works for me in writing, not the prose. And web papers are easier to read than novels – but lazy, I in this likewise in writing I get away with online dictionaries and support of translate google.

But idioms are hard. A headline got my brain to drop dead the other day: “How the FBI tailing Trump could dog his presidency”.

I certainly knew what “tailing” means. It was the introduction of a dog in the sentence that got my intellect to collapse. Because dogs have tails my primitive brain told itself… and my silly brain made a somersault and lost grip or footing (?) and I sat there starring in blank at the headline for at least 5 minutes – deadlock, I understood nothing!

What a shame it was for me! (Having this blog since years back writing in English!)

It took some time to understand what the headline asked. It was actually the same question I had asked myself earlier after I had watched the hearing of the FBI man on TV.

I started to write in English first in 2011 after I had joined an online pen pal site … A daily writing to pen pals in English led to I began to think in English! And soon enough I became unable to conclude a written sentence in Swedish. It always ended in English. And it was beyond my will and instant awareness!

I’m not something as elegant as being bilingual as it is often  defined as the ability to effortless switch between two languages, and/or use them equally well. I masters Swedish, but I’m not the commandant over my languages! Yet my limitations, in the English I’m free from repressive life experiences “made in Sweden” and able to write  freely. But the Swedish language – it’s of course my base and bridge.

I wrote poetry in younger days, but I lost it. I couldn’t write in my native language for many years. The English language gave me the writing skill back as it provides me with an anonymity allowing me to be free to say whatever is on my mind.

It seems I lost this anonymity? What will be now, I wonder!

I have a British pen pal since many years thinking I’m good in English. But I certainly never have to use dictionaries writing mail in Swedish and seldom spell words wrongly! Looking closely, it’s the access to internet that makes me able to write at all! (And be read, of course.) (I never write mails in Swedish, by the way.)

I made an online proficiency test some years ago checking my skill in the English language – and the result was worse than I ever had believed. But it didn’t stop me from using the language. Now I have again made a test and got more gratifying results:

Summary of English skills
You have a relatively good knowledge of English but still require training in order to master the most complicated aspects of the language. Your score demonstrates a decent command of many aspects of grammar, while you don’t yet feel fully confident with some of the other grammatical categories. Your responses show that to a large degree you are able to understand complex texts that can be encountered in an academic or professional environment. Below you will find a summary of your score that can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses in English. When reviewing your scores, please remember that this test was designed for an advanced level of English skills in preparation for higher education.

The result shows I have problems like with prepositions and some verb forms, which I was aware of – and pronouns, which was a surprise. I have according to the test 100% knowledge of asked idioms. But that is not true in reality! It is real hard to understand idioms.

Especially when “tailing” and “dog” comes in same sentence. 😀

Prepositions and idioms is also the hardest for migrants in my country learning Swedish. I have often seen how this cause problems when I talk with people from another country. The migrant person become suddenly very silent and get the empty face you get when you don’t understand what your are told and feel very stupid therefore. It’s a very unpleasant communication experience to be exposed to – and a reason why many who have been affected by it avoid to put themselves into the same situation again, if possible. But then the necessary the language training goes missing!

To master your language or not master it, is strongly linked to feelings of confidence and having a space or the total opposite – feeling uncertain and uncomfortable.

It seems to me the official education in “Swedish for immigrants” focus too much on grammar training. And too many migrants in Sweden have a real lousy conversation capability in Swedish even after living many years in Sweden.

One problem is of course the teachers for migrants, native teachers are not good enough (sorry hard workers, but it’s what I’ve heard and read) and too many teachers have Swedish as second language and seems to have no feelings for the language at all. (Yes, and this is terrible – people spend years training a language they are forced to learn to get a job and learn nothing, when all they want is to get a job and be independed!)

It is a bit embarrassing – or comic? – migrants who get education in the Swedish language on SFI (Swedish for immigrants) on one hand hardly learns to speak or write Swedish effectively – on the other hand tells with their poor Swedish that I, a native Swede and skilled in Swedish, can’t speak Swedish correctly…  😦

I don’t argue  – as I have never learned grammar. No, I play by ear. Language is rhythm like in music. And English is the only other language I can play and have ears for. I can’t learn Spanish, German or French.

In the 60s Sweden had many guest workers coming into the country. There were by then no  demands or obligatory to learn Swedish or to be assimilated – neither any such were offered! People lived here for a while in camps and then they returned to their home countries. Those who choose to stay had no other choice but to socialize with Swedes, learn the language and assimilate. The way is to get a steady job, marry a Swede and raise a family.

Theodor Kallifatides is a Greek man and he is a Swedish writer. He was born in 1938 in Greece and immigrated to Sweden in 1964. He deputed as a writer (writing in Swedish) in 1969 with a collection of poems and he has thereafter for nearly half a decade written over 30 novels and worked with translations, etc. – in Swedish.

At the age of 77, he sudden suffered writer’s block. So he went “home” to Greece on a vacation – and got there the idea to start writing in his native language, the Greek. It worked out well and the result is a book with essays about writing. This book he has now translated into Swedish and it was released in March this year, 2017. Kallifatides is now 79 years old.

And he was now in March interviewed for his latest book in a literature program on Swedish television.

The following is what he said on TV:

A point of migration that is rarely talked about, that is what you lose. You lose your sensitivity, you lose your memories – you lose parts of your heart, actually. Especially if you have made it to your program to at all costs get into the society. But everyone pays a price – no, but my only way to not pay that price was to start write in Greek – and it was a feast! It was a feast – my whole head opened up. This thorn wreath, I have always had around my head when I wrote in Swedish – it disappeared: all those “do I write it right or wrong?”, “Is this how it is said in Swedish?” And if you ask a Swedish person, you never get a response other than “we don’t say like that in Swedish.”Well, thanks for that!

(Asked by the TV host if he experiences any difference in writing in Swedish or in Greek he said:)
I am much more confident in Greek, even if I make a mistake in Greek, it is my fault (…) but the secret behind my language ( Kallifatides refers to his writing in Swedish) are the enormous lack of security. I must think back a thousand times at every sentence, to be sure that this is as how it is said in Swedish.

(In a playing mood Kallifatides then smiled and asked to the program host:) Do you understand what life I have lived?

(The host ignored the issue and thanked Kallifatides for the interview and went ahead with the show.)

Talk about reading novels, by the way. I just started to read John Grisham “Roque Lawyer” translated into Swedish. My first impression was that he writes exaggerated scenes just to get his book filmed – and earn even more money? – the second impression is that his descriptions of the American legal community is absolutely disgusting. And I wonder if what he writes is true (terrible if so), or if he is a conspiracy theorist? Or a populist, raking the way for people like Trump? How can the American book market stand this man telling so horrible stories about the own society? Just giving him credit?

Anyway, reading this the book seems to me to be a pitch black highway to depression. But in Sweden the lights has returned out my windows, the spring is around the corner. There are other routes to follow. And I’ll go downtown tomorrow and return the book at the library – unread.

As I don’t have to read it, if I don’t like it. And  – to close the circle – what’s the good with curiosity reading? Tell me?

Final quote:
“I guess I can’t be doing so badly, because I’m president, and you’re not”, Donald Trump told Time’s Washington bureau chief, Michael Scherer.

 

 

 

Posted in create life, immigrants, living in the world, My Swedish Corner, online friends, poems by vonnely, politcs, reading, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ms. Evil Eye on visit

A childhood ghost 

 

 

 

I have my roots and past 350 km near,
the ghosts around the corner. But my
glee and future are as far as 3500 km
away. What now – Ms. Evil Eye on visit –
I spit three times over my left shoulder:

If she comes near me again I swear
and promise I would rather kill myself
than let her stay around, because she’s
nothing but messy dirt and degradation
from past and evil times – a ghost from
what once was but is no more. Whatever
she tell herself her intentions are, all she
can accomplishes is to fill me with creepy
feelings so heinous I’d prefer to be dead
than relive them again. Now – as before
she never has one good word to say but
sly snide and sarcastic comments. It’s like
she think she knows me, owns me and has
rights on me and my life, as if I owe her
any. But I deny it and  curse her to get out
of my sight so I can live and breathe, free
from past shadows – be in the present and
see a future and you, whom I love.

Roman-era mosaic from Antioch depicting a plethora of devices against the evil eye, Wikipedia

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in antagonists, living in the world, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, rebellious lovers | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This love from a space afar

Photo by YB November 2013

I asks the empty sky “what have I done wrong” –
when I get love I get it in another distant space?”
Its challenges is – so far – to be too far away; my
lover is out of reach, but yet he crackles and heats
in me – like a wood stove from my childhood afar.
This love given me to tenderly hold in my heart –
ordinary life becomes a miracle from above and
it’s all because of him, my  far away spaceman!

 

 

 

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Thank you Chuck, thank you all musicians…

Chuck Berry died March 17 at age 90. I’m so happy for artists like him and Etta James and all those other musicians and singers which brings joy and courage to my heart even the bad days – particularly the bad days.

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Our German Angel

Today Merkel will meet Trump and I keep my fingers crossed for Merkel, she’ll do well!

 

 

 

 

When others fall she stands tall,
the German Angel and mother to us all.
Born and raised behind the Soviet wall,
she has become the one all leaders call.
She’s met them all, the phony Berlusconi
her true fan the howling wolf Erdogan
and Putin riding his bear, calling her “dear”.
All those men with power, dicks and guns,
she got them all on her shoulders once
and this little woman is our true hope
and the only one Trump can’t cope,
truly she’ll will hang him in his own rope!
Yes, bless Merkel, in the democratic circle!

 

 

 

Posted in borders, create life, living in the world, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, politcs | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blue Anemones and about a Swedish racist party calling itself democratic

 

Donald Trump has again pointed a finger “see what happened in Sweden”. But what Donald Trump believes has happened in Sweden or to Sweden has not yet occurred. It will never do!

Not that the country lacks problems to deal with, I don’t say that.

But it is peaceful here. We all in Sweden just now wait for sign of spring as the wild spring flowers: the tough and hardy little sunshine Cotswold, the plentiful overflowing Wood Anemones soon enough on every little hill, in nice company with the smiling and flirty Yellow Star… and we are lucky to see the shy little Blue Hepatica. From the same family as Wood Anemones, but not as abundant as its white sisters. Fragile, tenderly beauty to love…

Like the Swedish poet Tomas Tranströmer describe the flower in a poem he called The Blue Anemones:

To be enchanted – nothing is simpler. It is one of the oldest trick from ground and spring: the Blue Anemones. They are somehow unexpected. De rises out of the brownish rustling last year’s leaves at overlooked spots there the gaze otherwise never stays. They burns and hovers, yes hovers! And it’s because of the color. That eager violet blue color now weighs nothing. Here is ecstasy, but low below the ceiling. ….. (the poem will be continued at the end of this post)

I don’t know if it is a local curiosity, but in Sweden the political parties are not only described in colors but has often chose a certain flower as its symbol. The Sweden Democrats has chosen the Blue Anemone – or the Blue Hepatica to be exact – as a symbol for its party…

The same precious little spring flower our poet Tomas Tranströmer chosen to his poem from 1983. I am of course not amused by this coincidence, bringing the flower pushed back down in the brown leaves from yesterday darkness.

In American press, getting an interest in Sweden politics thanks to Mr. Trump’s earlier slip of tongue, The Swedish Democrats has been described as a Swedish conservative party. That is so very wrong.

The conservative parties in Sweden are four in a block cooperation: “The moderates” and “The Christian Parties”, true conservatives parties and they are in company with two other bourgeoisie parties, namely The Liberals and The Centre Party (a rural party).

The Swedish Democrats is in reality an anti-democratic, nationalistic party with roots in Nazi and racist groups. They are to compare with Front National led by Marine Le Pen in France – and like Front National there are very shadowed in connection to Putin’s Russia.

In practice “persona non grata” party in Swedish politics area, hated like the plague by the other traditional parties.

 

The Moderate Party leader Anna Kinberg Batra shaking hand with Jimmie Åkesson, leader for The Swedish Democrats after a hearing in the parliament. This handshaking became a news paper scandal – as the members of Swedish Democrats Party are “personae non gratae”, meaning they are ostracized in parliament by members from the other parties.

 

As a true racist party, the policy focus in every context on to discredit Muslims and foreigners. The party has only one explanation to every alleged social problem they describe – always caused with what they call “Muslims” and people born in other countries than Sweden. Every political issue will be solved the same: forbid Muslims to live in Sweden, forbid immigration. They go so far in their polemic as accusing all Muslim men to be criminals and rapists.

They are associated with anti-democrats groups in the EU.

They all avoid to criticize Russia.

And the Russian activities as well as anti-democratic parties’ agenda is to undermine the democracies in Europe. And so as well in US! Putin’s agenda is well-known and bothersome for us in Sweden and people in Europe: he works powerful with to undermine the European democracies with organized troll news and money supports to antidemocratic movements.

The Swedish Democrats was formed 1988 and has very quick become slimmed and clean its out brown look and the leader seems extremely trained for the job. In spite the racist allegations it has succeeded so well it has become the third biggest party in Sweden and established itself in the parliament. The last an equal chock for common Swedes as for the common Americans, Trump actually won the Presidential election.

They run today the rhetoric in the public discourse. All this annoying talk about “refugees”, “immigration” and “criminality” everywhere, even from overseas…

In spite all this yelling about “Muslims” at the public arena, the current problems in Sweden is not “Muslims” or “immigration policy”. It’s in the big picture how to keep the welfare system for everyone, now when the large 40s generation has reached retirement age. We actually need people to replace them on the labor market.

What Sweden suffers coming on the headlines – making a loudmouthed and ignorant man as Trump to point his finger – is a wave of gang criminality there very young people              (children actually) in early teens are provided with guns by older people belonging to a hidden, larger and organized criminality connected to drug dealing – and those youngster has introduced a “justice of the street”. And this exploitation of children is as ruthless and brutal as trafficking.

Almost every day or week News reports of another teenager has been killed on a public place.

These crimes are of course hard for the police to investigate as no one of this gang members talks to the police. Not common people around this shootings want to tell any either – as who wants to be shoot in the head…

What scares is this murders take place on public places, like a parking place, nearby a grocery shop or a school there innocent people comes are at risk to be harmed.

We do have “ghetto alike” rental areas in Stockholm, Malmö and Gothenburg. So even in minor cities as the city closest mine about 100 kilometers away. There are certainly criminality in my city too. But tell me a city on earth which hasn’t!

Even if I live in residential area with many people with low income and many from refugees from Africa too, I live a very peaceful daily life fear nothing from any.

Sweden is a good country to live in for rich as well as for poor – we all pay the same fee at the health center (about 17 to 23 dollars). We don’t have to die of curable diseases because we can’t afford to see a doctor or get hospital care. (And Mr. Trump, for us it’s normal and everyone’s natural right – and not “a complicated thing”!)

All the schools holds good standards too, even in suburbs areas, at least comparing to how it is in – even – US. (Not to talk about other parts of world.) And our “ghetto alike” areas holds middle class standards for the apartments comparing to other places in world. And no one must have to have 2 jobs to pay for rent and food, like is common in US.

The big issue for Sweden as a country is not having too liberal rules for refugees to come here or for having immigrant groups assumed to cause problems by ignorants.

The immigrant rules we have current are from 2016 and they are settle to stay ahead coming years – and they are more restricted than Trump’s prospected wall ever will be. (As he will never make it come true, even if he on the road will cause many defenseless individuals unnecessary suffering.)

Violence provided by “Muslims” is actually not a problem, but we have scary race motivated hate crimes, causing danger for innocent peoples’ life. During last year xenophobic citizens causes danger for people by set fire to refugee lodgings. Under the year 2016  there were 92 fires on refugee lodgings, 53 of them caused by “unknown perpetrator”, in only 2 cases an external offender has been identified. The victims of the fires were already traumatized and frighten people, including many small children. So far has no one been killed – yet. But this happens in the tracks of the anti-democratic movement.

Instead of talking about which groups  mostly provides  crimes, it could be a good idea to look at which groups are most affected by crimes and violence. As being native Swede I feel very safe! Really!

We have actually a too restricted immigrant policy for the time! But it is caused of  practical reasons and not ideological ones – we were in fact run off mattresses for people to sleep on over nights and refugees were forced to sleep on the streets – in the middle of the winter! And the servants at The Migration Authority migrations were – and still are – understaffed and worked 24/7 and were all worn out. Furthermore the townships could not provide enough housing for new citizens. The government was forced to make a powerful intervention to put a stop to it. Even if they hated to do it. And they did – hated to do it!

But what are  Swedes in common interested in? Well, we Swedes are mostly focused on the public service programs with glittering song contest to the final Eurovision Song Contest. So when Donald Trump asked what happened in Sweden “last Friday”, the most Swedes actually sat in front of their TVs watching this crap. Yes, really!

So IF anything had happened “last Friday”, we would not have noticed it! We’re just interested in what’s on TV screen, surf on internet and read about miracle diets for claimed healthy outcome – and going outdoors we are only looking for spring signs.

(Talking about “1984” or “The brave new world”!)

As the increasing light returns to this distant, dark little country… Seriously, Sweden is a sparsely populated isolated area very far north with plenty of room for new residents. But we lack housing.

And as I said, the big “M” is not for “Muslims” or “Moderate Party” but “Mello Festival” (nickname for Melody Festival), those races every Friday weekend with gala and parties in different cities in Sweden –  for the big Eurovision Song Contest. Yes…. this is the most important thing for a common Swede today, no matter age. (I heard this races ended last Friday, so I wonder what my neighbors will do this coming Friday tonight…?) 😀 😀

The good thing with Mr. Trump’s  talk and random attack on Sweden it made me (and others, I guess) start to read American web papers  – and Swedish news media started to publish articles in English for people abroad.

This interests is declining for me. I began to lose the interest when I read a long investigating article there a journalist in end claimed the refugee restrictions from the Swedish government was caused by a murder of a young assistant on a refugee camp. Such stupidity.

And then I read – for example – an American article about liberal values, Sweden – and (of course!) refugees, written by James Traub (New York Times, March 7)…

The author of the article said Sweden should be aware certain people (Muslims) will have problems to accept the rules in a democratic and highly secular country as Sweden, with its freedom for women and homosexuals. And he pointed out those migrants Sweden received earlier in time never had this problems to assimilate. He mentioned Chileans, Curds and Bosnians.

Yes but? This is very wrong! The Chilean refugees caused a lot of problems in the 70s. Not at least because of domestic violence.

Even the most conservative Muslim men coming to Sweden now are more freely than those South American catholic refugees coming in the 70s. I was married to a Chilean man 32 years ago and been in that group a short while so I know from the inside what I’m talking about.

The Kurds… well there you have “the honor culture”. Kurdish women and girls had some strange habits to commit suicide jumping from a balcony – until our naive authorities realized it was murders… Yes, we Swedes can be naive, no doubt!

When it comes to Muslims with traditional values there are and will be social problems caused of their ideas about sexuality and women’s rights and school girls’ mandatory participation in gymnastics lessons and swimming lessons. (I have some personal insights there too.)

No doubt there are conflicts! But actually, like in US, different groups CAN live in same country.

But really, to compare refugee groups like this liberal man do in his article, is to slip on reality so very unfair and wrong. Refugees are for obvious reasons traumatized when coming here. But it is not fair to compare groups who have lived here for 40 to 50 years with people who may has been here for about 10 months! That’s lousy!

From where do this liberal man get his rhetoric, I asked myself when reading him? Coming back to that…

It is prejudices (in Sweden as well as among people abroad, like from this man Traub) to believe people coming from Africa are all uneducated. It is true for unaccompanied children refugees in early teens, this group has certainly never got a proper chance to school education. But when it comes to adults’ refugees, the most who has the possibility to get out of their countries are middle class people having professions and most often they have academic trainings of different kinds.

But Swedes tend to treat all from Africa as if they are all illiterates. (Just imagine how annoying it must be for the already affected person, dealing with all other emotional struggles belonging to refugee situation and than be treated as an illiterate!)

We have what is called a structural racism in Sweden, which prevent migrants to establish to use their qualitied trainings in Sweden, as the same Swedish labor market screams for educated people in the same professions, like in the health sector and construction industry. The problem is not located in the individual person coming here as an immigrant, but in the Swedish system not able to assimilate people from abroad and take advantage of peoples skills.

Another thing disturbing me much about this talk about different cultures and immigrants alleged problems to assimilate in a new country and it is this focus on refugees.

But what is a refugee?

Yes, what is a refugee? Well, it is a person who flees from his or hers country inflected of war and violence in order to save the own life. And what do we do? We sit here and say, “but will he/she be able to live here and assimilate to Western values”.

What do you mean, if you think like that? Is it better this person stays in a war zone to be killed? Because “we” don’t like this persons eventual worldviews? Well, what kind of world view do we have then?

Tell me, please!

Remember this: Hitler succeeded to murder millions of Jews. And we let happened – because they were Jews (or Rome or mental retarder).

Is it what you would do if a fire started in your house, valuate people in the burning house before considering to eventually save their lives?

What a shame on our humanity! Sharpening, please!

I don’t think Sweden should be blamed for trying to hold a high level of humanity for the individual, we should be honored for it! As the Americans are proud over people like Martin Luther King and his movement.

Traub starts his article with writing about a saying he claims to be typical Swedish and typical for the Swedish debate climate. It’s “corridor of opinion”. It’s a common expression in Sweden he say. But I had never heard about it before I read his article. So I called my son and asked about it and he said actually  this phrase exists, but it is introduced in the public rhetoric by The Swedish Democrats.

In the 70s the left movements own the public arena rhetoric, people like the romantic poet Tomas Tranströmer was mocked by stupid and “radical” young intellectuals. But today it is voices we thought never to be heard again, coming from the graves of our bad past.

That is the really bad thing in today public discourse – not only this man, Traub, but overall in media and in politics – the rhetoric for the day is settled by racist and anti-democratic and reactionary movements. We all are infected! That’s terrible!

The common expression I know off is not “corridor opinion”, but is to say it is “low under the ceiling”. The opposite is“high under the ceiling”. I’m not skilled enough in the English language to know if there any English equivalents to this expressions?

Back to Tranströmer and his poem… He uses this two expressions in his poem, “low” respective “high under the roof”. As said it is the common expressions in Sweden to my knowledge.

Further he introduces mystically the city of Nineveh in his poem about the Swedish little spring flower and combines this with a quote from a local medieval chronicle. (The Chronicle of Eric). Heavens know why! But I take the liberty to replace this obscure passage in the poem with a line about Trump and the White House. Because what Tranströmer actually refers to in the poem is an enigma for me, I don’t know it.

Please note this: You are not allowed to translate a poet’s work without having permission for it. And I have not. The translation here can not be spread and used further in a public context, it is only for to illustrate my reasoning in my post and must stay in its frame.

I’ve translated the title to “Blue anemones”, but the proper name for this flower is Blue Hepatica. I think “Blue Anemones” is more romantic and poetic title.

The Blue Anemones (Från ”Blåsipporna”, ur samlingen “Det vilda torget”, 1983 by Tomas Tranströmer.)

To be enchanted – nothing is simpler. It is one of the oldest trick from ground and spring: the Blue Anemones. They are somehow unexpected. De rises out of the brownish rustling last year’s leaves at overlooked spots there the gaze otherwise never stays. They burns and hovers, yes hovers! And it’s because of the color. That eager violet blue color weighs nothing nowadays. Here is ecstasy, but low below the ceiling. “Career” irrelevant! “Power” and “publicity” – ludicrous! They seemed have arranged a great reception at the White House (with many loud trumpet solos for nothing). High under ceilings – and above all heads the chandeliers hanged like vultures of glass. Instead of such an over-decorated and clamorous blind alley the blue anemones opens a hidden passage to the real feast, which is dead silent.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in borders, create life, immigrants, inspiring literature, living in the world, poem in Swedish and English, poems by vonnely, politcs, Tranströmer | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Yearning to be your number one

 

 

 

 

If you say “I want to see your
country” and not “I want to go
to your country to see you”, if
you say “I wish to travel to see
the world” and not “I wish to
travel to see you”, why do you
then become annoyed and
surprised when I ask “and what
about me, am I only the tool to
make your future dreams come
true”? And why am I sad and
surprised, now when it seems
you’ve revealed you really not
care  that much about me – like
you always told me before. Oh,
I guess I  believe in everything
you say, being such a fool in love –
yearning to be your number one.

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Was it worth it?

Bunker, Dennis Miller. Yellow Rose. c. 1887.

I woke up today feeling hurt,
saying to myself: I just wanted
to be loved, was it too much to
ask for?

I say woman to woman – if a man
causes you more tears than smiles,
you better think twice, because
it’ll never be good or better!

Falling in love, oh that’s wonderful.
Relationships is another thing – it
begins like a treasure from heaven
but after a while it’s a life like in hell.

And how is it really:
In the past you’ve excused parents,
friends, siblings and lovers for not
giving you the love you deserved
and yearned for. When will you
end finding excuses for having
been misused?

When will you
make a stand for yourself?

Oh man! Last night your verbal
clumsiness made me feel like I’m
not only unloved but not lovable
at all! Was it worth it for you?

 

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Male vanity

Gothenburg 2015 Swedish winter bath

touch gently your little tummy for me
big man afar your hand for my hand
and know I’m happy you have a soft
tummy to share with me and do not
fuss more about having one but keep
it right there for me until we‘ll meet
tummy to tummy and shining Moon

 

 

 

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Fading love

Swedish painter John Bauer 1882-1928 “Prince without shadow”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We crowned each other with our
hopes and desires and we called
it “love” and talked the language
of love and seduced ourselves to
believe this was true love. But now
the romantic colors begins to fade
and I guess within a year from now
we will rarely remember the other.
You will probably marry a woman
who suits you better than I do and
I will still be single with romantic
dreams. But I must admit I still hate
the mere thought of you with another
woman. Yet all the sweet will vanish
until it doesn’t matter anymore.

 

 

 

 

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Wasted tears


I’m still under your spell
wasting my tears over you
wonders what bad can ever
I’ve done to get so much evil
back life has surely not been
good to me and never better
it gets yet a little love for love
is all what I ask for but no  I’ll
never be free as long I’m still
under your spell if this is love
what then is sorrows

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A religious man

Did you have to break my heart?

If love is what you feel for me, as
you say?

Your sister did not do “a mistake”,
given you the right to put her on
the street and withdraw her your
love and protection, leaving her to
disgrace and be abused by men.

And you told me you’ve misused
women the same way for pleasure
(and it was a pleasure for you!) and
you call it normal for men and now
you expect me to love you anyway.
Sorry, but I’m just disgusted.

And “the thrill is gone”, gone away like
a bird never coming back! But yet –
did you have to break my heart?

 

 

Posted in borders, create life, friendship, inspiring music, living in the world, love story, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, politcs | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fallen Angel

Lately it has been much of Tracy Chapman. I love her lyrics, but one line has caused me trouble: “I received an honest answer / When a lie would do”. I even felt a bit resentment of this line – because me personally, I can’t cope with lies and I hate hidden truths. But last night I was told something by a loved one I wish I never had been told – I now understand the meaning of that line in Chapman’s song.

 

Through all years that have passed
I’ve kept in my memory the moments
when skin tenderly touches skin and
two hearts beat in same rate. I have
seen my angels, my lovers and
heroes in my mind fallen to
ground, crashed.

(Of different reasons,
but never like this now!)

And always music floats in my room
and follows me out on the street and
on my walks in woods and fields, carry
me further then nothing else carry.

Last night I saw you my angel, my hero
and desire coming to me being straight
about yourself, only to fall to the ground,
crashing, a fallen angel…

…because I received an honest answer
when a lie would had been enough and
no music in this world can restore my
attraction for you, prompt dead.

 

 

 

(the lyrics in the video is Czeck)

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Morning, Monday and March

 

 

 

 

Morning, Monday and March.
A thin layer of snow on ground
at my yard and more is said to
come. Winter has returned. It’s
a bleak day and I’m bleak too,
suffering a never ending flu.
I think of you (I always do.)
So far off as you are!

Life has split up and gone
undercover as worms, eagerly
they loosen up the soil, giving
the grassroots room to stretch
and grow. I wish next summer
will come with you. (And I’m
happy you wish the same!)

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Once we were young and pretty

thin-skin-1Once we were young and pretty,
but now we’re old and what then
rose high and proudly is now grey
and dried, low and slow and life
has become a struggle with our
bodies failures.

Although we have lost the beauty
and attraction of a youth, we need
and desire the same as the young.
Our thin and frail skin is starving,
longing to be touched by a lovers
healing hands – because the older
we get, the less we get.

robotic cat for elderly

robotic cat for elderly

Our future is no longer an endless
road with yet coming possibilities
in a wide landscape, but a harbor
and a sign telling you “road’s end”.
You surely knew it, but now it’s your
own personal and brutal reality with
no options.

Soon enough you may end up at an
elderly care, sitting at a window with
your hands idly resting in your lap –
drifting in thoughts of your childhood,
absently hoping for a visit or what for
dinner. But you have lost your taste
robotic-petfor food and your sons are too busy
living their lives to have any time to
visit you.

This can really be our final destiny:
To become exiled and limited objects
for professionals briskly and alienated
measures. Know: they have invented
robots to satisfy our emotional needs!
But what to do? Well, we can run away
to become musicians in Bremen.

poster Pigpen Theatre Co. BREMEN

poster Pigpen Theatre Co. BREMEN

 

http://www.bremen-tourism.de/bremen-town-musicians-1

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Too easy

röd ros törnkivst
it was too easy for you then to let me go
because I made you angry and hurt but
yet you couldn’t free yourself from have
me on your mind all time and all the love
you held back got your heart to bleed
from the rose thorns, unable to put things
right you handed it to me, a word was all
it took, it was easy for me then to let it go

487439-1188x668-[DesktopNexus.com]

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Live longing

Bee-pollen-supplements2

 

 

 

 

 

To love and live longing for someone
is like living with a slight but persistent
toothache. With time you gets used to
these dull pains in you and it lowers to
a mumbling bumbling bumblebee – it’s
like having a trying pet, yet a companion.
The absence in you follows you through
your day and delays you from fall asleep
at night. Then in your sleep your lover in
person comes to visit you in your dreams.
Next morning the same grim pain greets
you “hello” and “good morning”. Misery
keeps you bonding to your beloved and
you realize it well. But it’s past your will,
it’s the persistent desire in you keeping
your beloved. Because Hope dies slow
and it takes so long time to let go.

John Bauer (1882-1918) Prince in Moon land 1907

John Bauer (1882-1918)
Prince in Moon land 1907

 

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Know your enemy

trump-golf

jeanette-vizguerra-denver-4-children-and-3-grandchildren-in-us-illegal-since-1997 sorce CCN

jeanette-vizguerra-denver-4-children-and-3-grandchildren-in-us-illegal-since-1997 sorce CCN

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Trump “loves Sweden and the Swedes” – and the Swedes?

peeking-around-the-corner-3Trump ” loves Sweden and the Swedes” – and the Swedes? No, we don’t love him.

This “so called” President is a catastrophe for the free democratic forces in his country. What’ll come after his disasters is hard to say, but it’ll be tough times for “the people” he claims to represent. Hopefully for the rest of the world his damages will be limited to stay inside the borders he tells he cherishes and the walls he wants to build.

When it comes to his “fake facts” about Sweden, some Swedes fears – yes, even our government  – he will destroy our “image” abroad. I don’t know what “image” we have overseas? But he has surely put Sweden on the map. Good! You are all welcome to visit us and see – not a Paradise, but a very nice country in a troubled world.

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What can I say? I still miss him

lady_dog-2
What can I say? I still miss him.
The days passes – as in a dream,
but I guess this is called “to live”.
Muteness spreads in my body –
even to my heart. What is, stays
the same but less painful. What
can I say? I miss him as before.

 

 

Vad kan jag säga? Jag saknar honom fortfarande.
Dagarna passerar som i en dröm, men jag antar
att detta kallas att “att leva”. Stumheten sprider
sig i min kropp, även till mitt hjärta. Det som är,
det förblir detsamma men mindre svårt. Vad kan
jag säga? Jag saknar honom fortfarande som förr.

lonelinesscrop

Posted in aging, love poem, poem in Swedish and English, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry, with or without you | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Walking alone

path

 

People who wishes I should be happy
or strive for to be it, annoys me over all
limits. I simply can’t stand them or their
demands on me to legitimate their banal
worldviews. Personal happiness is such
an overestimated ideal to hold and as a
desire nothing but a diversion and dead
end. To be moving is what’s essential for
both body and brain. Walking alone is
better than to join the noisy crowds paths
and it’s better for your wellbeing to walk
alone than to live with negative folks who
breathe acid over you all the day long and
poison your life over time. Beware of those
who talks you down, while claiming they
want to lift you up! Though, it’s certainly
a basic fact the human species survives
through others and become sick or even
dies without them. Yet, you’re never such
alone as long you have books and music
and drama, as long there’s nature around
you and pets to tenderly touch. You have
your dreams to dream and memories of
a love that once was yours. It’s no others
business. You love those you meet until
they proves otherwise, not being lovable.
Most do, but it’s not a proof of anything.
This sad world, jailed by social systems,
need its lone walkers on the wayside, to
become created over and over again. And
personal happiness is a diversion, but to
be moving is essential. Happiness is only
a bonus – if it would occur.

 

man-sittting-and-watching-sunrise-on-mountain-top

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No, nothing happened in Sweden last Friday

bulb-in-dark-korr

 

 

 

I spend all my days at the laptop writing, reading
web papers, chats with people but as far I know:
No, nothing happened in Sweden last Friday!

Yes, our world is an arena for villains – where a
clown can become a President but as far I know:
No, nothing happened in Sweden last Friday!

If something happened in Sweden last Friday, we
Swedes would like to know, but note Swedes likes
modest people telling the truth. Sorry, Mr. President….

 

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I used to dream about you

Summer dreams, acrylic painting by Aldo Luongo

Summer dreams, acrylic painting by Aldo Luongo

 

 

 

 

 

I used to dream about you,
your kindness and your love.
What will I dream about now?

Light returns nights get shorter.
My days are endless empty – what
do I do when I can’t think of you?

I yearned so hard once in life get
a wonderful summer, full-bodied
me and mine. I imagined with you.

angsblommor 4

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