I’m unhappy, although I’m loved. And I tell myself
every day to be content with what I have, but that
doesn’t make me feel better. Unsatisfactions eats
my soul like mice making hole in a pantry wall, all
to consume my life assets – and leave poop behind.
And unlike lemons you can’t make juice of such!
Actually you can: google “How to be happy” and you get more than 5,3 million hits, but google “want to be unhappy” and you only get about 80 thousand hits and they are all about how to get over this (odd?) wish. In my thinking “Be happy” simply is a slogan to hit the head of others. Especially this is a slogan I get from Africans or people from parts of the world there people suffer worse than others with having no jobs and no money and no food and no toilets and no clean water but have war and war and war and misery and sicknesses and a lot of mental traumas of all sufferings – but which it is taboo to tell about. The same with to be unhappy, “God will help you” I’m told! No, thanks: I’m happy I was born in Sweden there mental illness is not a shame and not a blame and melancholy is a famed national mood. But even here is unhappiness a state of mind you simply must want to cure, not to let your melancholy flourish. (Even if science nowadays knows creativity dwells in the same cup as depression and even only low you need your downs to reload your batteries.) But overall it’s “a must” to be happy – or at least you must want to strive to get it.
Therefore, I conclude that being unhappy and unsatisfied must be a revolutionary act!
Thus – I wake up in mornings being a pitch black revolutionary and I go blue to bed at night as a liberal, torn apart over myself as I only only get older and older, becoming 70 this year and soon I will be dead and yet I have not done anything of my life! 😦 Yeah, that’s the core of my bad mood and dissatisfaction with myself. 😦
niezapominajki is Polish and means forget-me-nots