Porn is not an issue, it’s just a “no”!

You have met a nice guy, finally. And he’s such an angel to you, nice and charming and respectful. Right?

I did too. He’s a believer he told me early on, and preach and pray every day and he teach children for a living. He love his sisters dearly (at least as long as they live conventionally and don’t get pregnant without being married).

I didn’t mind, I’m not religious, but I have my own moral standards coloring my everyday life. I’m a socialist, a vegetarian, a feminist and I’m always walking in comfortable footwear, never high heels. There are people looking askance and distancing on me because of that. It’s not nice and I would hate to do the same to others. So I could accept his lifestyle.

We truly live different lives and have certainly gone through crisis during the past years and now I thought (we both thought) we had passed all that. We’ve been close for almost three years and we have been talking about coming together as soon we got a chance with money and jobs and that sort of things.

I would never have believed when I woke up last Friday, the day would end with him telling me something that instantly would make me, with a simple button push, block him out of my life forever and without a word of goodbye.

When you meet someone, you ask things like “what food do you like” or “which is your favorite color”. You don’t ask how him how he cope with live in celibacy. So it may take years before you are told that he – who says that he loves you above all on earth and will do so forever and ever more –  is a persistent porn video viewer. No, I don’t refer to have occasionally of curiosity watched a nude movie in your lifetime, who hasn’t! No, it’s a constant habit he has and which he never told me about before. Three years of my life I gave to this guy. And it shows he’s a regular lifestyle porn consumer!

It was an instant and doubtless act, simple and clean, to delete him from my laptop and my life. It was firstly the next day I became sad. Now two days gone, I feel so soiled to have been involved with such a scum!

Many years ago he told me with such an emphasis he hates hypocrites so very much. I don’t like hypocrites either. But he never told me he was one of them.

 

Quote from Robert Weiss, Huffington Post “Is Porn Cheating” 06/07/2017

“Infidelity (cheating) is the breaking of trust that occurs when you deliberately keep intimate, meaningful secrets from your primary romantic partner.

Please notice that this definition does not talk about porn, webcams, sexting, social media, hookup apps, strip clubs, one-night stands, prostitutes, affairs, or any other sexual or romantic act. Instead, it focuses on what matters most in healthy relationships – emotional intimacy and trust. With infidelity, it’s not any specific sexual act that angers and hurts your betrayed partner the most, it’s the lying and the keeping of important secrets. After that, your significant other finds it hard to trust anything you say or do, and that is a painful realization for you both.”

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This entry was posted in cultures, heartache, loss, lost trust, morality, online romance, poems by vonnely, reading life, relationships, repression and borders, secret love, sexuality and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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