This apartment I have, it’s too hot all through the summer. In the fall when the first cold hits outdoors, the temperature drops to normal indoors. Yet it never pleases me, but make me feel uneasy and frozen in the raw air in the morning. I meet this discomfort by lit candles and let them burn for a while until the molecules in the air become more friendly to me.
I live in the northern part of the world where people would not survive without heating the houses. Nowadays, almost all houses are heated by district heating, or in other words long distance heating. The thermometer tells me in wintertime the heat in my rooms is good, yet I don’t feel comfortable with my indoor climate. I blame this district heating method for it. All landlords in the whole world could talk against me, yet I’d claim I’m not comfortable with it. (I’m sure time and future science will tell what’s wrong with it and that it is not something “personal” with me.)
40% of households in Sweden are single households. Imagine! And if you live alone and have to live with long distance heating, you have discomfort in double sense – as people around you are distant and unfriendly at this latitudes and very seldom socialize with their neighbors. It took 3 years for people around to say “hi” to me in this city. I lived before 20 years in another city – there it took 10 years before neighbors dare to say “hello”. This counts only for native Swedes. Luckily Sweden is a migrant country and those new Swedes make the social climate a bit better, as they have no fear for saying “hi” to other people living in the same building. But that’s all they say!
Next spring, the landlord told last week in a letter, major renovations will begin in the area. Which means I have to move out for a time as floors and walls will demolished for new water pipelines and whatever more. But when I read this message I instantly felt I got enough of all the repairs and new buildings that have been going on the last years in this house and the area closest around and I’ve therefore decided I’ll move permanently to a new apartment and to a “better” residential area next summer.
I’m old enough to rent a senior apartment. However, there is a rule for having that kind of apartment that you are not allowed to share your home with anyone younger than 55 years old. So it’s nothing for me then as the object for my amorous dreams is far from being a senior man.
Yet, it is a bit strange I have thoughts about my next home based on conditions I don’t know if they’re valid or not. Meaning: I’m single, but not in my soul and heart.
I forgive the man who has stolen my heart for not returned it and for the lack not being old. Maybe he – in spite all – stay steady for me and hold the line, as I do for him. I’ve tried to unlove him, but I can’t.
There is no longer distance than the one between a loving couple who can’t communicate with each other.