I think of my latest lover

beach 2 trim











The year 1971 I was 22, slim and cute and
clever and lonely. Now I’m 67 and I’m not
slim and cute, maybe clever, surely lonely.

And I think of my latest lover in this dark
times of November 2016. I think of him
today – because time doesn’t stand still
but moves like a train on its track and my
clock with no mercy is ticking. And I ask
in the air “has my time for love passed?”
Yes, I know I’m not 22 anymore, yet…

When I look back on my life (I shouldn’t),
my whole life seems like a tundra when it
comes to love and friendships. But every
heart has the same urges, no matter age
or look. And everyone have a need to be
loved and to cling to someone special.

I think of my latest lover, because he was
not good enough to become my last one!
That’s my issue here: understand me!

45 years and loneliness is still choking me
the same – no man ever crosses my path, if
any at all comes around, it’s just a player,
taking a chance. I’m on my guard, but…

Frankly, I’m worried – months have turned
to years since me and my ex parted. I hardly
remember how it’s like to have a love life.
I ask into air: when will I ever meet a lover –
good enough to live with.

I think of my latest lover, as I wish for a better
ending of my love life. Yes, I think of him as he
was not good enough to be my last one!

Yes, I want to acquire a better final memory
of lovemaking to save for my last moment in
this life. And get some joy before all is over.
Chase away the painful feeling of being alone.




This entry was posted in aging, armed loneliness, create life, poems, poems by vonnely, Poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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