She once had a best friend

this is a translation of the poem posted July 17, “Hennes bästa vän”

She once had a best friend and
Ralph was his name and he had
a wife, Lena, and three children
and a cat, and he built them a
house and he did everything in
it himself, because he wanted
to know that every little detail in
his house came from his hand.
So he told her as between them
there were no secrets.

She once had a best friend and
Ralph was his name and they
had known each other for some
years. He was her confidant and
idol and ideal for how to get life
to work successfully for you,and
she was happy for the love to him,
and between them there were
no secrets.

She once had a best friend and
Ralph was his name. But one day
he told her, he could not go on
like that anymore – meet with
her and having coffee and talks,
and see how she laughed and
smiled to him. “If I can’t have sex
with you, you will never see me
anymore”, no never more.

She once had a best friend and
Ralph was his name and he was
her only friend. But with a knife
in her heart she told him “no” and
he said she could think about it
until next time he visited her. But
she knew now how it was and
what he had told her. So he said,
and he went.

She once had a best friend and
Ralph was his name and they had
sex the first time in his wife’s
discarded old twin bed, that one
she once had given to her. And
he was very nervous and came
at once and  then blushing he
apologized for his disgrace and
promised her next time would
be better. As if she wanted a
next time.

She once had a best friend and
Ralph was his name and he built
a house and he did it all on his own,
because he wanted  to know all in
his life came from his hands. So
he told her when they met secretly,
now when friendship and talk about
“art and life” was paid by her get
naked to let him have sex with her.

She once had a best friend and
Ralph was his name and he told
her about all women he had sex
with and then he insistently asked
her not to disclose him for his wife,
because without her life was over,
he said. Isn’t that on you and not
me, she asked him, and upset he
said she didn’t love him the way
she should do.

She once had a best friend and
Ralph was his name and when
his house was finished she went
to see it, but just once and no
more and he rarely visit her. But
when the gossip about them began,
she denied it all to his wife,as
he had asked her to do.”There are
no secrets”, she said.

She once had a best friend and
Ralph was his name and he came
and she undressed and went to
her bed, but he just looked dark
and angry at her. Then sudden he
got up on top of her and sat down
heavily on her chest, holding her
head in a vise between his thighs,
and her arms down with his hands,
and pressed his erect penis to her
face.

She once had a best friend and
Ralph was his name and he forced
her to look at him while he pushed
and held her down at the same time,
weighty moving his heavy body and
his gender over her and in her face,
while he angrily asked and asked
again and again and again, why
and why and why she didn’t want
him and then he accused her for
thinking he was disgusting.

She once had a best friend and
Ralph was his name. If he had
struck her in the face, then
her mouth would probably had
automatically opened up, but
that was apparently over what
he was capable of and she kept
her mouth tightly closed, and
continue to refuse to accept him,
how much he ever pushed and
held her down and talked and
talked. He smelled so badly.

She once had a best friend and
Ralph was his name, and after
heinous forever and ever, he
finally left and released her. He
dressed, still angry and insulted
and before he left her he said
bitterly “You never wanted me,
right?” That was true, she had
loved him. But never in that way.

She once had a best friend and
Ralph was his name and that night
she dreamed he had died and she
woke up crying. The dream was so
real she thought it was true, until
she one day a few weeks later met
him on the street with his wife. They
asked her to soon come and  visit
them again. She promised to do so,
but she never went.

She once had a best friend and
Ralph was his name, but after him
she had no best friend any more.
Alone, then out of a job and money
she hit the wall and at a point his
wife sent him to talk her to senses
and to deal with her life before it
went straight to hell. “We are very
worried about you”, he said. But she
didn’t listen and he left. It was
the last time he visited her.

She once had a best friend and
Ralph was his name. And now she
didn’t have friends, but she had
a job, a dog and a flat. When
loneliness became too hard, she
began to date a man she didn’t
like, but quickly she realized her
mistake and ended it. But still he
came to visit her and put a pill in
her coffee and raped her on her
kitchen floor and the weeks after
he called all his friends to end
the show.

She once had a best friend and
Ralph, that was his name. They
lived quite close to each other,
but never saw each other again.
She married and divorced hastily
and devistating, lost her little
life, and fled town and lived
on benefits until she got disability
pension. She was a failure in life,
unlike the friend she once had.
She still remembered with shame
how he had showed her what a
flop she was, not at least in bed.

She once had a best friend and
Ralph was his name. More than 30
years later at the library with
a collection of poems by Rilke in
her hand, she came to recall her
best friend in the past and that
bad dream she thought she once
have had. And after all these years,
she suddenly realized what really
had happened to her that day.

She once had a best friend and
Ralph was his name and she had
admired him for his determined
way to acquire what he wanted.
But time went on and 36 years
later a man told her he wanted
to be her best friend. “No,it’s
not a good idea”, she said. “But
between us there are no secrets”,
he said. “Is it not?” She said.

förgätmigej

 

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This entry was posted in friendship, living in the world, poem by vonnely, poem in English and Swedish, vänskap and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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