It was harder to believe in him
than it would be to believe in God. And
I don’t believe in God, except sometimes
as a bridge transition, not to get stuck in
despair and confusion.
I don’t think he saw the mess
I saw myself as in my bad moments. But
I think he should have, I really think he
should have. But what has been or what
will be, what is right or what is wrong,
it’s really not that important.
I was a believer with no trust.
But I have to experience and join my own
truth at each time. Whatever lack in trust,
or what’s around. And whatever will be.
It’s not important.
I had to ignore people saying
what they thought was needed to be said.
They caused me pain and I might have to
them too, but it’s not important either.
“You” or “I” have no significance.
We will meet in that room. It’s above us.
He was right about that all the time. He
did me wrong. And I must have hurt him.
But it’s not important now.
We haven’t find our common way
yet, but maybe we will somehow. But this
uncertain stage will end. And others will
certainly come. That’s how it is. And it’s
I can’t keep me away from
moments of fear and doubts. It would be
nice to be worry free and to relax. I think
I really deserve that after all these years.
But that’s not important either.